TOPICS OF THE DAY

Hawera & Normanby Star, Volume XLII, Issue 7383, 8 February 1902, Page 2 (Supplement)

TOPICS OF THE DAY

(From Our London Correspondent.)

LONDON, December 14. FOREIGN OFFICE

FRIVOLITIES.

In Sir Edward Hertslet's "Recollections of the Foreign Office," there are some amusing anecdotes of the good old days when the "Government stroke" was considerably slower than it is at present, and when there used to be a round roll of sweetened bread placed every morning in each room at the Foreign Office, together with a decanter of water. Clerks used to receive pocket knives as Christmas presents in neat little leather cases; if they asked for a lead pencil they were given a dozen; they obtained considerable fees from consuls on their appointment; and when important treaties were ratified the Foreign Governments concerned sent presents for distribution, "which amounted in some cases to as much as £1000. The latter practice was discontinued in IS3I. These were literally the "palmy" days, and many of the best stories relate to Lord Palmerston. A room in the attics, facing Downing-street, and occupied by a number of young clerks, was called the "Nursery." Pretty dressmakers occupied rooms in one of the houses opposite: >

"The youths in the 'Nursery' arranged a looking glass in their own room in such a manner as to throw the sun's rays straight into these young ladies' faces and on to their work, and as these little jokes were repeated when the sun permitted, complaints were made (not by the parties themselves, but by residents in the same street who were annoyed at what they saw going on) to Lord Palmerston, Foreign Secretary. His Lordship thereupon wrote a minute, in which he inquired, 'Who are those unmannerly youths who have been casting reflections on young ladies opposite'?' "

Lord Palmerston was at one period very much hated abroad on account of the firm and determined manner in which he upheld British interests. It is said that on one occasion a e.ise of table knives was stopped at an Austrian Customhouse because ike name of the manufacturers. Palmer and Son, stamped on the blades, was mistaken by the officials? for Palmersfon, and they thought that the knives were about to be Imported for the purpose of carrying out some foul and wicked conspiracy to overthrow the Austrian Empire!.

Lord Palmerston was very particular about handwriting, ami insisted that despatches should be written well. Some of His Lordship's nftjdnl mimites on the subject of ink and handwriting are amusing. On one despatch he wrote: "Reading Mr R.s handwriting* is like running open knives into one's eyes."

On another his minute ran: "Has the writer of this letter lost the use of his right hand? If not, why does he make all his letters slope backwards — like the raking masts of an American schooner?"

One of Her Majesty's consuls in South America lodged this complaint: "What I have undergone for the last twelve months in the house I lately occupied is beyond all imagination. What with fleas and other vermin it was absolutely insufferable."

Upon this letter being sent Tip to Lord Palmerston for his perusa 1 ., His Lordship wrote tipon it: "Living with his fleas can hardly be worse than reading his handwriting, which I cannot do. Let me have an abstract of what it is about."

"Old Pam" did not like paper to be fastened by pins. "I desire," he wrote, "that all the pins in this office be immediately made over to the female branch of the establishment."

A story is told that one Sunday morning, during church time, Lord Palmerston entered one of the rooms of the office, accompanied by Lady Palmerston, and not finding the head of the department at his post, he inquired of one of the juniors whei*e he was, and on being told that he was at church, His Lordship expressed surprise at his not being at hit? desk, and was beginning to wax rather warm on the subject, when he was stopped by Lady Palmerstou's remarking: "But you see, my dear, some people go to church on Sundays." Lord Palmerston evidently felt that this was an awkward remark for her to make under the circumstances, but he said no more, and quietly left the room.

Mr George Lenox-Conyngham, for some years chief clerk at the foreign Office, was a martyr to pain, and when suffering* was not very particular as to the language he employed. He happened to receive a Quaker on one of his bad days. After some little conversation -had passed between them, the Quaker pus up the finger of his right hand reproachfully, and said, "Thou hast tak<*n the name of the Lord in vain thrice"; and he then handed him a little tract headed, "The Swearer's Oath." Mr Conynghani was not at all offended

at this, but calmly rang his bell, and when the office messenger arrived, he said, "Take this paper down to the bookbinder and tell him to mount it on a piece of cardboard for me." He then told the Quaker that Jie would put it on his mantelpiece as a caution to his friends when ihey visited him not to swear.

Sir Edward gives us a capital ain-y narrated by Disraeli himself. He said: "You know I have the honour of being one of the Elder Brethren of the Trinity House. Well, there is a special uniform belonging to that office. One day I was abcmt to attend a levee at St. James' Palace, and my valet laid out my diplomatic uniform ready for me to put on. Placing implicit confidence in him, I put it on and went to the levee. On appearing before the Prince. His Royal Highness jocularly remarked: 'it won't do; you're found out.' 'In what, sir?' I inquired. 'Oh,' said the Prince, 'you've got the wrong trousers on'; and, to my horror, on looking down I found that I had got my .diplomatic uniform coat on,' with the Trinity House trousers."