Wit and Humour

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XXV, Issue 79, 16 March 1935, Page 15

Wit and Humour

Butchei: “Baby weighs fifteen pounds.” Mother; “Exactly!” Butcher: “Not exactlyl wBl put op a few soup bones to make weight.” —Humor Holite, London.

“Was the trim full!” “Rather —even the men had to stand. ” —Humor Holite, London.

Mistress; “So you think his intentions are serious!” Maid; “Yes, ma’am, he i» beginning to let me pay when we go out.” Humor Holite, London.

“Er—can I be of any assistance 1 “Yes —quick! Put your arm round me. That's my boy coming. If he gives you a hiding I ’ll know he still loves me.” —Weeklv Telegraph. Sheffield. '

“Buv a pair of bootlaces —always useful.” “No, you can’t supply "hat I want.” “What is that, sir!’’ “A pound of £5 notes.” “I don’t know, sir. Give me n sample and I'll have a try.” —Humor Holite, London.

“No lime to go to ~our dentist’s! y What are servants for! Can't you t send one of them in your place!” ■ —Moustique, Charleroi, y

“Your friend i» a drunkard!” “He drinks no more than I do.” “Thon he MUST be e drunkard.” —Humor Holite, London

“I believe this boy is the grands', i ci great grandson of the eentanarian in this village. Which is it, sonnys ' ‘‘Great-great-great grandson.” “Impossible.” “Not at all—the boy stutters.” —Humor Holite, London.

Old Lady: “Stop sniffing—can't you do something with your nose!” Urchin; “Yes, keep it out of other people's affairs.” —Humor Holite, London.

“Take off that silly beard. I don’t believe in Father Christmas any more.' ’ - Lustige Bachse, Leipzig.

“ Y’ou can consider our engagement broken off—and there are your loveletters back.” Illustriorte Blatt, Frankfurt.

“Kurt, you should do a lot df skiing. It makes one so lithe and slender.” —Lustige Sachse, Leipzig.

“You want a pu- in my olluef But rou know nothing at all about my busiless! ’’ “Oh, don’t 11 I’m engaged to your rrivate secretary!” —Dubhu Ooinion.