INTER ALIA

Hawera Star, Volume XLV, 16 May 1925, Page 16

INTER ALIA

By “Ixion.’’ It is noticed that the pressure. of the water supply in the early morning varies inversely with ic.s temperature. The chairman of the Eltham County Council state* that the condition of me roads would have been better but for the ’difficulty-, in procuring .stone and in getting money from the Government. The Government, evidently, is more stony than, the gravel-pits. The days lost through labour disputes in Great Britain in 192.1 numbered. 10,(542,(XX). This news should make the New Zealand watersider look to his laurels. A weekly paper informs its that an ostrich, when' terrified, travels at the rate of about 25 miles pep hour. it is a pity something couldn’t be found to terrify our local trains, A horse by the name of Monoghan ran at the Eginont . Pacing Club’s meeting this week. Many people backed him in expectation of a surplus. A curious Ash Wednesday- custom still observed in Spain, is called “The Burial of the Sardine.” "We in New Zealand content ourselves with burying the tins. A .student at a. college in Poland, after firing a revolver at the principal, threw a. bomb, which exploded, injuring ten people. The explanation is that he had been studying a course in Bolshevism, Nob everyone may be Mayor of Ha-we-ra. iNoit everyone may be a councillor —or, even want to be. Though the.se "avenues of civic service may be closed to him, the citizen desirous of doing something to help his town .may yet ~do so in many unostentatious little tv ays. For example, he may become an honorary member of the municipal band. This costs him only five shillings and entitles him in return to a. complimentary ticket to all the open-air concerts. For the man with civic spirit, who shuns publicity, perhaps no better opportunity offers. He- pays lii.s five, shillings, is ipso facto .an honorary member of the band, and there the matter ends. He is not called upon to beat a drum, to play a saxophone, or to clo any of those unpleasant things. Yet when he attends a Sunday afternoon concert at the Park and listens to the rhythmic strains, of “Georgette” or the more spi ritual appeal of “Abide with. Me,’“ his chest swells a.iul he holds his head a little higher. After all, he thinks, he is really -a member of the band. He feels that .he is in some measure responsible for. that he i.£, in a way helping to produce, that charming symphony. He gazes fraternally u.p at the band seated in the rotunda and feels that K one of them. It i>s only when a lectionho.x is suddenly shaken, t I»is face that he realises his ya«t-lv inferior status.

Only a few weeks ago, while carelessly .scanning an article dealing with that all too common complaint nowadays, “Nerves,” and little things that cause them, my attention was arrested by the pointed question, “Do you belong to the great, army of onestud men ” A. moment’s introspection convinced me that I did. I possessed but one front and one back stud, and, furthermore, I calculated that this, state of affairs- had existed for some considerable time, almost two years at least. It slowly dawned oil me the terrible risk I had been running the whole of this, time, and 1 was appalled. Supposing that on one of the numerous occasions, when I had been preparing for dance or party, a stud had failed me, where should I have been?- Attempting to borrow from the next-door neighbour, probably. But what if he also were a one-stud man ? Well-groomed though a man may be, take, a.way hi.s collarstud and., he is done. Realising that I had been tempting Providence tattoo long, , 1 purchased several spares immediately. The next morning the top came off my front; stud, and the day after niy back stud rolled down, a crack in the bedroom, floor. I mourned the loss of these old friends and rejoiced that I had the spares. But at the end of a fortnight these, top, were all either lost or broken, and L found myself .studless, in the very predicament. I had sought.to avoid. I have been buying studs, ever since. Then* is no stopping my run of misfortune. The oilier day 1 picked a stud out of ,ai card in a draper’s shop and it broke in my hands. Ridiculous as,, it may .seem, I now find it necessary, every Stnrday night-, for the sake of convenience, to purchase a- supply of studs sufficient to last the week. . Let my experience serve as a lesson to others-. If any among you own a. stud, am old and trusted friend with all trace of gilt worn' off his twisted frame, then stand by him and. he’ll stand by you. A LACTIC LULLABY. , Milk! Milk white as snow, White in its purity, Daily doth go In cams to the 'factory .; Into vats polished clean Finds its way ultimately, Jersey and Holstein Mixed indiscriminately. Barefooted seneschals Start the machinery. Pour in base chemicals, Sully its purity. ’ Departs all its lightness, Mo longer a liquid, In place of its whiteness A bright yellow solid.— And the breeze , In the trees Outside Whispers, “Cheese!” Sings the. farmer gaily On his way daily Home from the factory, Home to his family AVaiting to meet him. Smilingly greet him Children’s happy faces. Chattering brightly. Hi.s. wife he embraces, Whispering lightly Words .she loves best, “News for you dearest, A five-two test!!’