WORD FROM THE NEW MAHIA GOLDFIELDS.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume II, Issue 180, 9 August 1888, Page 2

WORD FROM THE NEW MAHIA GOLDFIELDS.

OPINIONS OF A VERY EXTRA SPECIAL. (by tblacbam.) i.fbom ora bfxcious lybe—no cwt bight.) Mahia, 0.61 a.m. Arrived yesterday morning alter a terrible journey ; wet to the bone outside and as dry inside as an insurance canvasser on the atump or a mortgage parchment. Found place almost deserted—not a soul about eave two bed-ridden old Maori men, one ancient wahine, and don't know how many brats with garments as scarce as manners; also about 19 scraggy mongrela, whose lean bones, fierce declamation, and savage, fiery eyes, reminded me ot the dreams I had after reading Paradise Lost and devouring toasted cheese before bedtime. Inhabitants thought I had been lost from some unheard-of Paradise—the cure evidently eyed me as a good dinner morselseat of pants clean gone—while I instituted myself as a regular Gulliver among the picaninnies. Was informed remainder inhabitants out chasing whale. Chased a wail of my own away, and felt desperately in need of tucker. Boasted one of poor carrier pigeons brought with me, and had dessert ot pipia and dried shark. Dropped off to sleep, and dreamt I was being “fleaced.” Was awakened as if by a heavy kick, and yelled what was that. Was told it was one of Garrett's boots. Jumped up and found the Jo-vial Longley, the great Gisborne cash draper. Soon found I wasn’t dreaming. He was quite astonished to see me, and quite as astonished at my quarters and at my ignorance. “ Come along,” he said, “.you’re a fine newspaper man.” “You’d soon get fine if you were on my lines. ” He stood and laughed at me until I began to pinch myself again to see it wasn’t a dream. Rode off a few miles distance, and then I knew what that jolly laugh meant. There were the miners in hundreds, and others flocking in like a swarm of bees at hiving time. There were five raupo hotels, two ti-tree stores, and of course the great Cash Drapery Store, owned by Squire L., and constructed of blankets, sheets, and mats. Got a sapling, rushed up the Standard and took town by storm. First lawyer just arrived. Later. Another lawyer. Special edition Standard chalked on a board warned miners of disas. trous result. They said let ’em come; could stand anything but Chinamen or peelers. ■Were their own judges and jury, and would stand no hankypany tricks. Would Bee there were no libel actions. Much Later. Inhabitants just returned with whale. Terribly enraged at new-comers jumpingtheir property. Lawyers already fought and taken sides. War imminent—natives got harpoons and fish-hooks. Miners laugh and say can drive lot into sea with boots bought from Garrett Bros. Later much. Matters amicably arranged—Maoris to have mulloch and miners the gold, both lawyers sentenced to a fortnight on crawfish, dried eel, salt water, and stale rum. Jon Tom Son ex Ar He been appointed arbitrator, on recom- ' mendation of Miners’ Standard. Has drawn out elaborate plans showing various strata ’ and difference between mullooh and quarts. On his proposition the natives were made the liberal allowance of all mundic and sand that has been put through the battery. Latest. Tranquility restored. Maoris presented with large number Longley’s blankets and Garrett’s boots, and do nothing but lazily roll themselves up, eat crawfish, or strut about with their new boots on. The brats have got togged out, some even with bustles, and they occupy their time playing with the dogs (which now look quite respectable) or shying mud-pats at the lawyers, who look quite de jected, as though they had discovered a goldmine and had it wrested from them, Maoris taken quite a dislike to sharks. Tom Son has sworn allegiance to Standard and been appointed President of Republic, Lord Salisbury been offered position Saneho Panza, Parnell granted freedom of city, urgent cablegram sent home for Mr Rees. Jeebe War Ghan Esk Wire appointed judge land court, with power to order division of all land aur. rounding natives’ boots after coming from pipi banks. Extra Later. Six special editions Standard last houroffice rushed with diggers, air inside so stifling can hardly breath—nine Chinamen eleven lawyers just lynched—latest supplement contains plans of harbor scheme formalated by President—proposed to construct a booms right across to Tuamotu Island, and reclaim bay between that and Nick’s head—monument or tombstone to be erected in honor of latter —Wilty started tonsorial establishment under patronage of Pres.—cable for plant same as London Times—hundreds of miserable whip, persnappers flocking in with as much confidence as full-blown miners—still they come—send us five pounds. The Last. Received your telegram asking is there really any gold. So busy forgot to ask that question—heard it was quite as good as Kimberley. Skating rink just started—pubs going up like mushrooms. Next message by pigeon cram. Don't forget the five pounds—have gathered a big heap of quarts. (Message just received from Sergeant Bullen states our special has been found dead (drunk) on the Waikanae From the traoes it seems that he was at a tea meeting the other night, and subsequently partook of a bottle of painkiller in place of Epsom’s crystal. Wirei therefore down.)