FLASHES!

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume I, Issue 55, 18 October 1887, Page 2

FLASHES!

Who’a William Brown ? It isn't Brown—it’a Smith I Haven't you heard of him ?

No/? ,He'« tbe amarteat eoVe, and at earn* time mdet intigniflcaiit, simple, .heepieh io >Hng, you could oome a<Srom 1 . How docs he come to be known so welt M Gisborne ?

For th. best of reason.—he did us Brown ! Want straight for the toughest marke and had 'em I It ha hadn't bee j so honest he'd have been a rich men now I

Didn't he have expectations, though ? Oh yes, and so did others—over the left I Left here to get a twenty thou, windfall, but lie's fallen in.taad I Thought we wkr. deed apes, but if be oati Holt two Auckland .kinfl nte we may hold, up our heads again I Ha tried io aril them, didn’t he, and.godt a dam-p cell himself ?

It’s only temporary, though--he's anreUd wriggle out ot it I He's used to hot waUt— Lakes of it only had a refreshening effect I You know what was the result when the geese cackled round the dead fox I Haven't the bums been getting bumped lately ?

Yes, and what a "plucky " lot of fellows they must be, too I Five men and thrtk carts can’t get through a paling fence 1 PerbapA tile carts couldn't, but there waS noperhap.es about the bums—they gqt “ slops ” I Didn’t like to be chaffed so unmercifully, and got up steam lor another bombardment | Ultimatum despatched—rejected—bums defied ! Battery focussed—storm raged I Sharp and bitter fight—coma on Macduff I—flower beds blossom forth with bum. I—bum* to the tight, bums to the left, scattered and thundered 1

" Peace, peace! Be still!" Repulsed I—an armistice! Victors naelfled with a who'e law book—opinions differsd—departure of bums, wiser and sadder I Suppose there will be mors fun yet 7

Can't say—what's fun to some isn't always fun to others, as the frogs said to the boys!

Didn't the tars get a shock on Sunday?

Were having a little lark with a landdubber —gave him a nice drop to 000 l him I PaOr ohap disappeared for the nonoe—all hands rampant with despair I Presently he was spotted, winking at then from the other side of tbe little boat 1

Was a capital swimmer, and preferred the old life I The little fishes gaped with laughter when they saw what a sell the sailors got I

We told you so 1 Our member writing for information he should have got before he left, wasting tuppenny stamps and pestering local bodies for data I Why wasn't it all out and dry before he left ? Being still a novice, we'll excuse him, but he might be much older, and still be capable of being taught, even by his oppo* nents I They must be generous down Wanganui way—that is with other people's money I The Council's overseer there ekes oat five quid a weak, but gets knocked up and is given a month's spell and £2O cash to go for a little trip 1 And those who dared to raise their voioes against it were jumped on I We'd put them through their facings pretty soon if we had them up this way 1 They should have Mr Joyce to stir them up a bit I The gas works at Hastings have been com. pleted.

In an article on Native Land legislation the Napier Daily Telegraph concludes thus: — “ It is Mr Carroll’s special mission to li 1 the hydra-headed monster and in this he will be ably backed up by all the best men in the House."

It Mr Ballance is the monster Oarroll has got to kill he will be able to do it by himself. The unemployed question before the Heuse again. Mitchelson said many men dissipated their earnings and left wifes and families re* cipients of charitable aid. Some very startling disclosures are fto. mined in the House shortly. It is rumoured that Sir Julius Vogel wil* edit the Lyttelton Times. Kauri gum is said to have yielded a returM of about four millions U.r to the present timet Scott, tha walker, go Home to make matches in England. The total produce of eoat for the year end. ing March 81 was 534,853 tons, valued at £267.176. Gold returned £922,000. Mr Hislop, Colonial Secretary, studied law with Sir Robert Stout. Mr Reeves, member for St. Albans, has given notice of a Bill to impose an import duty of 5s a ton on coal imported to New Zealand. At Mataura a ewe gave birth td no fewer than seven lambs. A man named Miller, who was sometime ago convicted in Gisborne for drunken..., gut four months on Saturday at Napier for using obscene language. At ths close of last session £438 was owing for liquor at Bellamy's. This is to be stopped and members will have to pay cash in future; Mr J. Carroll was received with loud and repeated applause on rising to speak to hie equalisation motion.