Untitled

Grey River Argus, Volume IX, Issue 624, 18 January 1870, Page 4

A senior wrangler. — A. wife older than yourself. Idea — Something which many persons never possesse'l in their life, except they stole it from some one else. Why is a married man like a candle? Because he sometimes goes out at night when he ought not to. Why are wheat and potatoes like the idols of old ? — Because the former have ears and hear not, and the latter eyes but see not, A young man generally gives a lock of his hair to his sweetheart before he marries her. After marriage she sometimes helps hei self —and don't use scissors. Whenever, says Josh Billings, I find a rea.l

handsura woman engaged in the " wimmin's rights bizness," then I am going to take mi hat under mi arm and jine the procession. ''Anything to please the child," as the nurse eaid wheu she let the baby crawl out of the nursery window, The jßotiton Journal complains that, " notwithstanding the bountiful rain that has fallen the pagt week, milk has risen one cent per quart. When Aye read the lying epitaphs upon gravetstonea, we are c..m/pelled to doubt whether the dead or living Jje the most habitually in churchyards. A Western paper announces that it has • «' employed a hnmorist to. write funny paraJ graphs for this journal, and an astute writer to show up the jokes," " It seems to me that I have seen your physiognomy somewhere before," said a swell to a stranger whom he. met on the cars. " Very likely," replied the other, "I have been the keeper of a prison for the last 20 years." An Irish juror having applied to the judge tj be excused from serving on accounfc of deafness, the judge said, " Could you hear my charge to the jury, sir ?" ' ' Yes, I heai d your honor's charge," said Paddy, "but I couldn't make any sense out of it. He was let off.