TOPICS OF THE TOWN

Greymouth Evening Star, 14 August 1920, Page 2

TOPICS OF THE TOWN

IN LIGHTER VEJN. IN PROSE AND POETRY. BY THE TWINS. The "Twins" discour-e weekly on the more—or less —humorous aspect of happenings in and around the town.

The question the Twins would like to have answered is, "Should landladies have the bottles?" This is a worrying problem and should certainly be decided as speedi'y as possible. The position is this: If a boarder has a bottle of beer and conusmes the contents in the privacy of his own apartment is he justly entitled to sell the dead marine or must he hand it over to his landlady as a perquisite? This vexed question has been discussed, in an establishment not a thousand from Greymouth and should be finally settled in view of the high cost of living. The deceased marines are worth three shillings a dozen, so that a normal boarder can be safely considered to have about ten shillings worth of bottles every week-end or so. Can any reader inform the Twins as to whether it is etiquette for the dame who presides over the table to have the bottles? As stated, 'it is a matter that 'The hospital is, so the Twins understand, without the valued services of a Cook at present, and this state of affairs, if allowed to continue, will mean a dearth of patients at the institution. Cooking is one of the arts which it is difficult to attain, though keeping a cook is also an art which is still more difficult. The Twins suggest that in view of the danger arising from indigestion that a law should be enacted whereby good cooks should be preserved carefully for the welfare of the whole community, and that he or she should be literally chained to the kitchen stove. So far as the hospital is concerned the staff and patients have the sincere sympathy of the Twins, who would like to suggest a temporary expedient that the patients may take on the job in turn. Of course, it may be unwise from a health point of view to allow a patient who is being dieted,' to undertake the onerous duties.