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Golden Bay Argus, Volume 2, Issue 1, 3 June 1892, Page 6

An Irishman, lately landed, was taken to see the cathedral. Ah he entered the magnificent building.bewildered by its beauty,ha turned round to his companion, and -said : “ r why, Pat, this bates the riivil.” “That’3 the intintion, Moike,” was the reply. “ And bo you’re married, Bridget ?” “ Yes, mum.” “ VVriat does your husband do ” “ An’ sure, mum, he is a railrowd director.” A railroad director! That’s a very important position. Are you quite sure it is that?” • ’ I’aith an’ doesn’t he shtand all day at the railrowd directing people to the cars?” “ Well, Maggie." asked a teacher of a little girl, 11 how is it you are so late this morning to school ?” 11 Please, sir," was the reply, “there wis a wee bairn cam’ to oor house this morning.”

"Ah!" said the teacher, with a smile; "and wasn't your father very pleased with the new baby ?" " No, air, my father's awa' in Edioburgb, and dinna ken aboot it yet, but it waa a guid thing my mither was at hame ; for, gin she had been away, I wadna hae kent what to dae wi it !" " Chollie was nearly drowned in the surf this morning." "How? Undjrtow?' " No. He got his ears full of sand and they pulled hia head under. A hard working woman was asked: " Madam, are you a woman suffragist ?" "No, air," was the answer. " I haven t time to be." •' Haven't time ? Well, if you had the privilege of voting whom would you support ?" •' The same man I have supported for the last ten years " " And who is that ?" '•My husband." " She—" It isuaelees to urge me to mairy you. When I say no, I mean no." He—" Always? ' She—•' Invariably." He—" And can nothing ever change your determination when you once make up your mind?" She—" Absolutely nothing." He—" Well, I wouldn't care to marry a woman like that, anyhow." " Can your little brother talk now ?" "Yes. He can say some words real well." "What are they?" " I don't know. They're words I never heard before," Rejected Lover—" If whatever is is right why is it that I get left?" Mies Gotafurething—•' I'll tell you why. You aaked me to become your wife a vear hence. I've got a sure thing on Mr Donquichotte, who wants to marry me next month. And yon know that one bird in tha hand——" "Then will you marry me next week?" "That's so auddea ! I—l'll consider. George, I'll do it!" To her mother after George's departure—- " I knew I'd bring him to terms somehow." " Yoxju'e sitting in sister's ohair,"' said the small boy of the family to the young man who waa making a call. "Is that so? Well, isn't it all right ?" he asked.. "All right for you, but if I sat in that chair you ought to see how she'd knock my head for it." And that brief sentenoe changed the tenor of tjtx*. young man's thoughts, and Hie waa never the ti&zss again.