BY THE WAY

Evening Star, Issue 25927, 19 October 1946, Page 10

BY THE WAY

(Written by “ X.Y.,” for the ‘ Evening Star.’] In the dim long ago each of our two principal local bodies made a separate investment abroad. Both were in the category known as hardware and both were subjected to hard wear at thenrespective jobs. The passing years proved them good and faithful servants whom age could not wither nor custom stale. Their task was to keep our arterial routes open, by land and by water. The Otago Harbour Board’s' purchase was Dredge 222; the Dunedin City Council’s was a steam rollei* with a brass horse “ rampant ” in has relief on the smoke-box in front of the boiler. It was made at Ipswich, and although East Anglia is a fairly level plain, the roller soon accommodated itself to Dunedin’s extraordinary grades. Stabled down at nights on the roadside adjacent whatever happened to be the scene of its labours, and left with fires banked, and only a hurricane lamp for company, it never betrayed its trust by bolting down hill or going visiting; nor was it ever “ converted ” by belated inebriates or mischievous youth. In a very short space of time it came to be affectionately known as “ Barnes’s Baby,” in honour of' a respected councillor wdio may have been either mayor or chairman of works at the time, but w r as obviously wrapped up in this valuable municipal asset.

. It would be necessary to apply to the Auckland. Harbour Board to ascertain the precise number who eke out a livelihood by intermittent toil in the’ process of “ turning round ” -an overseas vessel. Application to the office/ of the Waterside Workers Union in Auckland might be misconstrued as vulgar and' unwarrantable prying in.to domestic affairs by an official Press, because Mr H. Barnes is president of the union, and its membership coincides with the extent of his family. One assumes this to be so from the discipline he has exercised over them, and from the fact that he now. proposes to put them on a milk diet when working certain kinds of cargo.. We understand that painting, whether of houses, fences, or ships, is regarded as a thirst-provoking avocation, and that the medical profession advises draughts of milk as an antidote to lead poisoning, traceable to olio (A' the ingredients .in the paint pot. Another school inclines to ale as an alternative. Much might be said on both sides.

Now it appears that basic slag threatens to undermine the more delicate and susceptible portions of the anatomy of those handling it in bulk. Mr Barnes declares that muslin filters or “ respirators ” over the nose and mouth of the worker in the ship’s hold as a safeguard are insufficient, and he lias given the Waterfront Commission a novel ultimatum. After the severe comment not long ago in this column concerning “ miner’s complaint ” and its causes, it would be inconsistent not to applaud Mr Barnes’s solicitude. In iio spirit of levity do we envisage Mr Barnes’s Babies hurrying past the Auckland equivalent of “ Wharf ” or ‘ ‘ Terminus ’ ’ hotels to perch themselves on high stools in milk bars and “ take soundings ” in ample containers with those hollow tubes that look like sticks of macaroni. What will the licensed*victuallers have to say about such an unnatural diversion of lucrative trade? Can it be that this is a disguised form of boycott as a protest against the low alcoholic content and high price of Auckland beer? Or is it a reminder to Mr Nash of his neglect to bring the beer excise duty somewhere near, to normal before the election writs are issued? An overwhelming responsibility now rests on the Waterfront Commission. Its best way out would be to insist on a “ stiffener ” in the milk—whisky or rum is said to be excellent—with a recommendation of a Government subsidy to defray the cost.

De mortuis nil nisi bonum. Nevertheless, it is impossible to refrain from comment on Ribbentrop’s farewell request. It was adding insult to injury, though lie himself was obviously incapable of realising this. Prior to his becoming a professional politician—though he was never better than a hopeless and bungling amateur in his chosen sphere of Nazi “ diplomacy ” he had “ travelled in champagne. Evidently he cherished liis memories of life on the road, and the varied opportunities and privileges incidental to the calling of the commercial traveller. For he desired that his son should follow in his footsteps, with the difference that he would be on a British instead of a French—or was it German? —payroll. A venerable firm of distillers ivill doubtless still keep on going strong without the canvassing of ltibbentrop, jun. As good wine needs no bush, so good whisky sells itself, especially in these days of the dubious origin of the mysterious concoctions which have desecrated the interior of the insolently fraudulent specimens of the glass-workers’ art and craft. It is encouraging to learn that Scotland has become menacingly alert to the piracy of the term “Scotch” in the world of international trade. All that now remains is for Mr Nash and Mr Nordnievcr to unlock the doors marked “ quota - ” and “ penal Customs duties ” and throw away the keys.

Eisenhower signalised the end of his mutually enjoyable visit to Britain by clinching the refutation of Ralph Ingersoll’s libels on Anglo-American high command relations during the concluding campaign in Europe. Ingersoll’s journalistic career was outlined—before America’s debut at the tail end of 1941—by an American colleague in the ‘ Saturday Evening Post’s ’ series of biographical sketches of prominent pressmen. Born in 1900, he began his career on a Hearst paper, which perhaps accounts for his conception of journalism as having a spice of Hollywood. He loved the jangling telephone

and the barked colloquy, and was “ Casey at the (.baseball) bat, Horatius at the bridge, and the Dutch boy at the dyke, all rolled into one.” A squire of dames and a devotee of the theatre, he was apt to. visit the news room after the slioav just as the paper was going to press, recounts one of his subordinates on ‘ P.M.,’ which Ingersoll edited. He would be accompanied by his latest “ doll ” in ravishing garb, whom he sought to impress bv fT great display of authority, the net result being the undoing of other people’s work. To demonstrate freedom from monetary “ pull,” ‘ P.M.’ would neither solicit nor accept advertisements. Under Ingersoll’s editorship it opened with an initial sale of over 300.000 copies; but within three months its circulation fell to 64,000. Recurring annual deficits have been made good by a serious young multimillionaire, a Field of the third generation. It remains to mention that Ingersoll is a confirmed paper-cliewer, a nervous symptom peculiar to the more excitable type of newspaperman.

’Ods bodikins! The occasion for the frequent visits paid by the Hon. Mr Webb to Lake Hawea stands revealed by the announcement of Labour’s selection for the Central Otago candidature. There had to be several trial fittings to ensure that the mantle of Elijah fitted Elisha with reasonable exactness. There was more than one aspect to be considered, not all of them strictly’political. For example: Every recurrent first week in May a tried and trusted shooting companion for Mr Robert Semple will be badly needed because of the regrettable development of defects in Mr Webb’s eyesight. Here Mr Claude Capell more than fills requirements. Not only is lie a crack shot with either barrel, but he lias unrivalled local knowledge of the habitat of feathered game of all sorts; from Lake Onslow to the Hunter River, and from Poolburn to Lake Hayes. Furthermore, as many a guest at the Hawea Hostel can attest, Mr Capell is both an expert boatman and a daring swimmer, though he has hitherto escaped Mr E. C. Isaac’s notice. With such a companion for Mr Semple, no fears as to his safety during his annual period of well-earned relaxation need be entertained by. the public of New Zealand—in fact, by the bulk of the English-speaking citi-

zens of many lands. As a crowning recommendation, the sunburn tan on the pate of Mr Bodkin’s prospective opponent proclaims his ability to manage without liis hat for quite as prolonged a period as stands to (Mr Webb’s credit. As an indication of .gallantry, this doubtless influences the women’s vote. Mr Bodkin must step lively. « # * •

A regular patron, of Addington, on a visit to Dunedin, i-eturned from Forbury Park a week ago somewhat ruffled. - For one thing, he had failed to observe one of his own pet rules for conduct at a trotting fixture — ziv., that, when a horse runs second in a race and is a starter in a subsequent race, it should carry some of liis money on the win machine in the latter event. This axiom duly proved itself in the “ big race ” and the last race; but lie profited nothing thereby. Self-recrimination soon widened into caustic criticism on more general lines. He expressed the hope that the Dunedin and Oamaru butchers would resume house-to-house delivery without waiting for shipments from Detroit or Coventry of new motor vehicles, or for the New Zealand Government release of “ used ” trucks. This would, lie said, ensure the transfer of a number of animals uotv eating the oats of idleness, except for so many circuits of a racing or training track, to gainful employment in their proper sphere —i.e., between the shafts of a butcher's cart. This he advocated in despair of the local trotting club tightening up the classes by bigger prize money as an inducement to owners.

There is always a danger of academic bodies growing so engrossed in their own affairs that they become oblivious to their environment. Admittedly that environment may impinge seldom or never on their consciousness, being on a distinctly lower plane than

their own Olympian altitude. Yet even members of the Otago University . Council, especially those, to whom it falls to scrutinise the monthly accounts, cannot fail to have noticed progress payments to building contractors. Nor can they have walked along King street in the neighbourhood of Dunedin Public Hospital, without an occasional thrill of pardonable pride in the contemplation of the majestic new edifices under their jurisdiction. Neither can they be oblivious to the growing difficulty df the students who frequent these palatial buildings. in finding extra-mural accommodation in which to eat, sleep, and “ swat ” anything, in short, above the level of a doss-house or a hovel. « * •» • Presumably some Univfrsity councillors relax sufficiently to glance at the daily papers now and then. It was only a few days before this month’s council meeting that there appeared a realistic account of the desperate straits to which people, especially with young families, are reduced through lack of housing, and the rack rents extorted for converted stables as. terribly congested living quarters. None the less, there followed this miserable discussion about Government favouritism to another branch of education in the matter of building grants and permits. It was worse than paltry; it was* callous and inhuman. Homes come before schools of any kind in the meantime. The immediate need, it -appears, is a Zoology building or annexe. Whether this implies a menagerie or .a museum is immaterial. The Old Testament says that a living dog is better than a dead lion. By the same token a New Zealand youngster is better than a dead moa or a tameweka. However august and reverend a body the Otago University Council may be, let us hope that in this matter' “ a little child shall lead them.”