BY THE WAY

Evening Star, Issue 20510, 14 June 1930, Page 2

BY THE WAY

IBy Q.'.\l

fc “ Tit* iijfcfc hxii numi/' Uja Wiirwfi aaid, 11 To talk, of mAzrf things.” The weather is indeed inclement when a Royal Commission is not sitting considering how, when, and whero the dominion is to be saved Horn one or other of its troubles. The total cost of these investigations must be an appreciable amount. The value of the findings in cold cash has yet to bo ascertained. Tho simple-minded might think that when they had elected members of Parliament, housed them in something more than comfort in Wellington, and supplied them with pens, ink, and paper, nothing more was required. But the simple-minded would bo quite wrong. Our representatives also require Royal Commissions to unravel all knotty matters, present a neatly typed report in duplicate on them, and very likely have the report printed later to facilitate its study. All this being done, tho M.P.s get to work on it—that is. consider how the recommendations will affect the voting in their various constituencies. In all probability this is the conclusion of tho whole matter, save the subsequent collection of fees and travelling expenses by the members of the commission. It is not so long since a very special kind of commission consisting of experts from England reported on our railway system, and, to give it its due, it did stimulate that department to unwonted, activity. It departed with a vague hint that if we wished to dispose of our railways as a going concern a purchaser might be found, but what patriot would barter our heritage for cash, oven when the heritage was a liability instead of_ an asset? Another commission has just been appointed to deal with that department, which hqs been losing more money lately than is deemed desirable. Wo wish the new body every success, without feeling very sanguine as to tho result of its labours. ♦ • ♦ • There comes a little rumour and a scare, A little bird is chirruping “ Beware,” Trouble’s brewing, Something’s doing, There is going to bo a fine Balkanic flare, And alarums and excursions fill tho air Over there. And the atmosphere’s as hot as I can bear. For the Prince whose name was chosen to convey Tho memories of mirth on Christmas Hay, And the waits, At tho gates, Who was making an involuntary stay, In a lonesome foreign country far away Has to-day Contrived to fill the country with dismay. Oh, tho Parliament were sitting in a ■ring,. And as busily engaged as any thing, Jn debate, On the State. When the naughty Care) came upon tho wing, And interrupted all their arguing Just to bring Them a message that lie wanted to ho King. Then--every member’s hair begun to rise. They sat, and dumbly goggled with their eyes, Till some chaps Said, “Perhaps We should suitably reward his enterprise, For he’s taken us completely by surprise When he flics To acquaint us with his wishes from the skies. So they came to him with deferential bows, And they put a golden crown upon his brows, And all Bucharest Promptly took a rest, And proceeded unreservedly to carouse, Each citizen parading with his spouse, Every house, Flamboyant with its streamers and its boughs. But the Liberals looked ominous and black, And their welcoming of Carol seemed to lack Loyal fervoar. An observer Might have noticed that they seemed a trifle slack, In saying they were glad to sec him back In his shack. Reinstated when they’d given him the sack. And his better half is not exactly fain To embrace her contrite prodigal again. She’d bo glad If ho had Been contented in ins exile to remain, Or migrated to America or Spain. It is plain That his absence didn’t cause her any pain. So, doesn’t it appear to me and you, That quite a lot of trouble’s falling due? And a quarrel Over Carol Is indubitably likely to ensue. And his wife will add her contribution, too, To tho stew (I quite appreciate her point of view!)

Mr Philip Snowden, who keeps Great Britain’s cash box. [s said to own a very bad temper. Few people love him when things aro going well, and all who can, avoid him when thing's arc going badly. As tilings are usually going badly in Britain these days, one imagines that Mr Snowden leads a somewhat lonely life. Even tho most harassed Chancellor of tho Exchequer, however, has his occasional strokes of luck, and doubtless Mr Snowdon smiled grimly when lie hoard of the death of Lord Ashton, a nobleniam who left behind him from twenty to thirty millions of pounds sterling on paper. Quite a largo slice of this will go to help Mr Snowdon’s next Budget, which will probably need all D’o assistance it can find and a little more. IBs last balance-sheet was a most depressing document, but Mr Mnowdrn had tho excuse that much of the deficit was a legacy from his predecessor. Next year he will not have that explanation to offer if still in office. No doubt tho late Lord Ashton will also have his uses as a shocking example to he trotted out in many a Socialistic and Cammunistaic discourse for years to come. The iniquity of cue man owning an amount equal to tho entire public debt of this dominion a few years back is a point which appeals _ readily to most of ns. Tho probabilities arc that Lord Ashton merely had the sight of it with his eyes, as the Bible says, and that his personal expenditure was less than what ho had to pay in .the shape of taxes. Whether it is advisable to concentrate vast sums in one pair of hands or net is a moot point, Ini I; to do

so certainly facilitates tho work of the lax collector. It also presupposes either phenomenal business capacity or astounding luck, or both. * * * • Wo are all students of mystery yarns nowadays, to tho great profit ot Mr Edgar Wallace, Mr Austin Freeman, rind their imitators. Our fathers and mothers got their thrills from ‘The Prisoner of Zemla ’ and its imitators, none of tho latter being, as far as wo remember, quite up to the standard of the original. Brilliant, but, of course, quite impossible, wajj the verdict of tho “highbrows” on Mr Hope’s work, but they did not live to read the story of King Carol of Rumania. This charming monarch was born at a place called Simula, which has no connection with the spot where the tables of the law were first broken by Moses. As a lad he (Carol wo mean, not Moses) had the finest collection (jf marbles in West era Europe. Subsequently these were dispersed among tho German and Austrian troops by means of a smooth-bore cannon. Tho gift was received without any marked gratitude. As he grew up Prince Carol, qs he then was, became one of the_ village lads. Ho .was requested to resign from the choir of the principal Baptist Church in Bucharest, and the proprietor of the “ Dobruja Arms” put him on the “ payable in advance ” list before the close of the Great War. He was fond of travel, and, being also of a gregarious nature, was usually accompanied by a lady friend on his wanderings. Sometimes he married the lady, at other times they registered as Mr and Mrs Smith, Upper Tooting, London. Carol renounced his claims to the glories of the Rumanian throne, and then ho renounced them again to make sure. Nobody seemed hurt at his decisions, Lately he began to have serious doubts as to whether ho was justified in withdrawing his services from his country, and he longed for a quiet corner near the Treasury. So* he chartered an aeroplane and came back. Tho Rumanians—or those of them who were nearest to the telegraph office—welcomed him warmly. His latest ambition is to place hi? country’s finances on a sound footing, and he is politician enough not to give any indication how ho proposes to do thi^.

Tho status of woman in any particular country is generally regarded as a fairly good indication of its civilisation. If this be true, as we.believe it is, Egypt seems pretty’ low down on the scale. In that sultry land tho court has just decided that tho fact of having murdered her husband debars a wife from succeeding to his property. How differently is tho marital relation considered in this dominion! Here, when a couple are married, provided the ceremony takes place in a church, the man is speeiallv bound to endow the woman with all his worldly goods, if any. Nor is this a mere formal statement, or legal fiction, or anything of that sore. We have heard of, aye, and known, men who endowed their wives not merely with their own worldly goods, but pi so with as much of their creditors’ belongings as they conk 1 lay hands on,* and lived happily over afterwards, Some justification of the practice is afforded by the Commissioner of Taxes, who maintains—and lew daro to question his ruling—that a husband is liable for his wife’s income tax. Tho connection may, seem a little obscure at first sight,'but a few moments hard thinking will make it plain enough. The decision of the Egyptian court may have far-reaching results. Some future dominion Governnient, anxious to go one better than its predecessors in “social service,’’ may proclaim a close season for husbands, thus bringing them into line with other wild fowl. It may even set aside a sanctuary for them, the Chat hams, or the Kormadecs, or tho Campbell Islands, though the Campbells are rather cold in winter. There are a number of unofficial sancluar'os available oven at present, but most of them are liable to be raided after 6 p.m. • » • » Chicago is in Illinois. .4 most enormous town. Its mayor makes quite sufficient noise To give the place renown. Its natives principally shine At killing other folks—and swine.

It seems an Earthly Paradise Fo- gunmen, gangs, and crooks. The sort of folk who soon) so nice l)i movie films and books. Their Sunday suits are simply lined With lethal arms of every kind. When children come from Sunday School, It's strange if they do not Behold a corpse, which, as a rule, implies that someone’s shot. Or else a scrap with Lewis guns Detains tho curious little ones. And when election times come round, A looker-on will note That many corpses strew the ground Of those who came to vole. For voting’s free to every man, Mot as he likes—but as be can. Such happenings may thrill, when told On printed page—or screen, But as for me—l’m getting old. And simply hate a scene; And so I’m quite content to stay Some distance from the 11.5. A. From this it might be understood That, taking all in ail, Chicago’s population should Bo growing very small. Where homicide’s a hobby, von Might think survivors would be few. Why, even Press reporters (such You’d think, would be exempt, As obviously being much Toe innocent to tempt Tho crooks to criminalities') Are murdered if they get too wise. And yet, in spile of all this glut Of premature decease, Chicago shows no shrinkage, but Continues to increase. (Just hew it doesn’t quite appear) By sixty thousand souls per year. This paradox in figures might Be used by some to prove The transmigration theory right (A notion Buddhists love) That every victim, so to speak, Is born as someone elso next week. Bat, be that notion as it may. The solid fact remains-, Chicago’s got a holiday To celebrate its gains. It’s nice to think that there are stilt So many millions left to kill!