MR TOPER’S LAMENT

Evening Star, Issue 19843, 17 April 1928, Page 5

MR TOPER’S LAMENT

OUR BEER NOT THE SAME HO CHANCE FOR FROTH-BLOWERS “Hey, mister, I know who you are. You are a reporter. I’vo seen you in tho Police Court.” “Guilty!” The reporter stopped dead as a grimy hand, belonging to an individual who swayed and held sway in the vicinity of tho Fountain, tapped him on the shoulder. ‘“Star/ eh?” “Correct.” “Well, then, I’ve somethin’ lor ye. I’ve been sort o’ interested in them articles about tho bread appearin’ in yer paper. That’s all very well, o’ course; but wot about interviewin’ the likes of me for a change—-?”

“ I sec. Vox populi ” “Never mind about tho ‘vox —wot you said.’ I’m not ashamed to see me name in print, to anythin’ 1 say. I’m Mr A. L. E. Toper, and 1 want to talk to yc about tbo quality of the beer nowadays That reminds me. I was in print once before, but it was only as ‘Voice’ at a Prohibition mcetin’ last elections.”

“Good heavens! Don’t say anything has gone wrong with the beer,” gasped the reporter. “Yeah, everythin’s wrong with tho beer,” answered Mr Toper, “it ain’t the same at all as it used to he. Why, if the beer was like this when I was a. young feller I would never ’arc lived to greet yc this nice mornin’. Me and me mates thinks somethin’ ought to ho done about it. We’d take the matter before the City Council only they’re too much takin’ up with water just now, I daresay. Likewise the Expansion League, way up Central.” Tho speaker went on to say that tho beer nowadays contained too many lions and not enough grain. It hadn’t tho body in it as of old, and after deploring the absence of the foaming tankard which one saw only in funny sketches, Mr Toper stated with regret that the present-day glass gave a genuine frothblower no chance to display his skill. Tho ale was both acidy and flat, and did not have about it that delicious crcamincss which used to be a source of delight to the drinker. In fact, lie stated frankly that the modern variety of beer was not worth the trouble of consuming “ And yon see and put that in the paper,” lie concluded. “Certainly,” said, the ; rep or lor. “ I’m sorry I can’t offer yon a drink now. After all you have said you might he offended.” Mr Toper quickly buttonholed tho victim. “Mister,” ho said, “I’m tho sort of joker who can adapt himself to any renditions. I’ll admit that now and then a man docs run up agin a good glass of beer, an’, look, I’m willin’"to take a sportin’ ehanoo. An me robber over ’ere is ’ardoned to anythin’.” A shilling changed hands.