HOME COURT SPARKLETS

Evening Star, Issue 19044, 12 September 1925, Page 22

HOME COURT SPARKLETS

Man at Towor Bridge: I ran away in self-defence. Lancashire Magistrate; Are you guilty? Alleged Burglar: No; unlucky. East London Wife: My husband is not perfect, but he is as perfect as I could get him. Kiugsland AVoman: Much to my regret, through diro necessity, my husband has to work-. Highs'll to Wife: There could not be a bettor man than my husband when lie is in drink. Suffolk Wife: My husband stutters badly, but fortunately I am good at cross-word puzzles. Sussex Magistrate: What is that cut on your forehead? Man: My wife threw a water jug at me because my horse came in last. London Woman: My husband is earning £6O a week. Magistrate: What is he—a county court judge? Woman; No, sir, a marine store dealer. Marylehone AVoman: A husband is usually more joyful over tho arrival of the first baby than he is over tho eleventh. Bow Landlord; My lodger is so ab-sent-minded that he frequently mistakes my wife for his own! Nottinghamshire Witness: The two omnibuses wore racing neck to neck. Driver; My omnibus has no neck. Kent Magistrate: Have you any questions to ask? Defendant (wearily) : Yes, can I go out to dinner? Tottenham Man; Because he has lost some pigeons ho has threatened to kill all the eats in the neighborhood. Willcsden Woman: She said to me, “ If I had a face like yours I would not even show it to the ice cream man.” Solicitor at Higligate: Do you play golf? Witness: Yes. Solicitor: Then wo can take it for granted that you swear. Rato Collector at Highgate; The defendant’s name is Quid, and if he pays £1 to meet the rates I shall bo satisfied.