FLASHES OF FUN

Evening Star, Issue 19020, 15 August 1925, Page 13

FLASHES OF FUN

Tough White Boy: “ Gosh, it’s awfn’ scrnppin’ these niggers. Yuli don’t: 1 stnurf a show of givin’ ’em a black eye.” • « # • “ Johnny, name a collective noun.” “ A vacuum cleaner.” ft ft ft # Sign in a Chicago neighborhood res taurant: ‘‘Don’t be afraid to ask for credit. Our refusal will bo polite.” * # • * “Isn’t Nature wonderfulP” “It sure is. And it looks s natural!” “ That’s what I like about it.” * * a » “ Bill was expelled from school.” “Too bad! Why?” “ In the engineering exam, ho surveyed his neighbor’s paper.” * « « * Soulful Lady: “There arc times,-Mi Simpkins, when I fool convinced I war on earth in Ancient Egypt.” Youth: “ I say, you know, it’s jolly rare for a girl to joke about her age like that.” ft ft « ft A friend of ours recently received a letter from a friend of hers common sing; “ Dear, I am sitting by the Niagara Falls, drinking it all in’.” * * * * Visiting Reform Lecturer (to solo remaining listener): “ I must thank you, sir, for so patiently hearing me to the of my rather lengthy speech.” Local Representative: “Not at all, sir; I’m the second speaker!” * « « » Strenuous Young Woman (turning down a proposal of marriage): “ I inns* have a cave man who, club in hand, will beat mo into submission.” Young Man: “ Well, look here. What about a round of golf next Saturday ?” ft ft ft ft Mrs Merry; #< You are a very lucky man, Mr Jenkins. I heard your wife say yesterday: ‘l’m going to do my best to make Billy’s life perfectly happy.’ ” Mr Jenkins; “Alas, my name's Edwin! Billy is my wife’s pet poodle!” ft ft ft ft “My dear,” said Mr Newlywed, as tho sixteenth cook in a month came up the garden path, “ this reminds mo so much of tho seashore. I can sit at my own window and watch tho breakers coming in.” ft ft ft ft Male Spouse: “I can’t understand how you can flirt with that chap Bimmbls with his wife looking right at you,” Female: “ Don’t bo silly. That’s the only time I would flirt with him.” ft ft ft ft Cockney Child on Sunday school outing, hearing cuckoo for tho first time); “They do ’are funny ways in the country, don’t they, miss?” Teacher: “Why, dear?” Cockney Child; “ I just ’card a clock strike sixteen.”

Mr Slicor: “I wns reading tlio other day that there nrc 800 wavs cf cooking potatoes.” Mrs Slicor; “ Yes?”

Mr Slicor: “Well, my dear, don’t yon think if you tried hard you could iearn one of them?”

Armchair Patriot: “I know there’s lots of knocking going on, but I want to tell yon 1 consider this Government of ours the best run on earth 1”

Third Assistant Postal Clork: “Oh, thank you, sir; thank you!”

John (sheepishly): “ I suppose you’ll be getting married soon?” Betty: “Oh, I don't think bo.” “ Maybe. I’ll got married soon.” “ Maybe.” “Maybe might both got married at the same time.”

“ Wouldnt ’it bo awful, John, if the minister should make a mistake and marry us to each other?” “ I—-I shouldn’t mind.” “ No-o-o-o—neither should I.” * *

The scene was a restaurant, and as a man and woman rose from the table at which they had been dining they turned and bowed to two men who were sitting not far off.

The latter gazed after them for a second, then one of them turned and said to tho other; “How long have they been married?” “ Oh, three years or so,” came the reply. “ And do you think she has made him a. good wife ?” went on the first. “ Can’t say,” answered the other. “ But I do know she’s mads him a vary good husband.”