A PERSONAL INTRODUCTION

Evening Star, Issue 11450, 18 January 1901, Page 2

A PERSONAL INTRODUCTION

y£Ai,L Rights Reserved.]

[By Blanche Wills Chandler.] "Oh! What*shallldo?" George's eyes met mine with mild inquiry. "What's the matter, Kitty?" " It's that story for next month's ' Rainbow,' and I can't think of a plot." George didn't speak for a moment. He still regarded me slowly over tho rim of his newspaper. "You might fall back upon autobiography," he observed tentatively, at last. " As if anything had ever happened in *ny career which the most imaginative genius could possibly build a story upon," I snapped, irritably. "There's always the one incident," murmured my husband; and I flushed scarlet. "Don't, George, dear," I said, imploringly. He knows how I hate any allusion to that affair. "I couldn't possibly." " It would be distinctly original, and it's a good many years ago; you were seventeen then, and you're twenty-eight now " " George! How can you ! I'm only twenty-seven!" " although you don't look it, and you could wrap it up and mention no names, Kitty." " So I could, but " " Don't talk any more," with plaintive finality from behind the newspaper. And in 8, few minutes I began.

Row weary I was of it all! That lying awake every morning for the postman's knock, and then slipping downstairs in my dressing down, and separating my letters from Uncle Robert's. Not for the world would I have let his terrible eyes alight upon those bulgy packets addressed to " Miss Kathleen Rowan " in my own handwriting. Uncle Robert always had a paralysing effect on mc. Sometimes I used to dream I had overslept myself, and saw him looking over his eyeglasses at those incriminating packages on the breakfast table, and saying: " Niece, your correspondence is somewhat voluminous this morning. Might I be permitted to view the interior of that foolscap envelope?" Cold terror would wake me up. Heavens! if such a thing ever did happen! If Uncle Robert should ever discover that bis niece, Professor Rowan's niece, who had been steeped in scienco from her cradle, whose recreations had begun and ended outside the glass cases in Kensington Museum, had disgraced her ancestry by :,uch an outrageous misdemeanor as the perpetration of fiction! and, moreover, had followed up the crimo by deluging every magazine office in London with her productions !

( Happily, so far, I had managed excellently well, and Undo Robert knew nothing of the exodus and return of my frivolous flights. How I had grown to loathe that phrase

" The editor regrets." I was never deceived by it. I knew perfectly well that the editor was not to blame, and that my rejection was entirely owing to the jealousy of underling clerks, who meanly abstained from submitting my MS. to the discerning eye of their superior. But all the same I suffered terribly. There were moments of despair in which I would resolve to immolate myself like Chatterton, but I was always deterred from the fatal act by the reflection that there would be nobody to gaze upon my pale wan corpse with lilies strewn around it save Uncle Robert and Janet, the deaf housekeeper. Uncle Robert's friends could hardly be taken into account. They were wizened old creatures, attached somehow or other to the Museum, who never called except with microscopes and new specimens. They paid great respect to Uncle Robert, but they never seemed to see me. I think they had lost the power of seeing with the naked eve.

Curiously enough, though, it was one of these very old gentlemen who inspired me to undertake the solitary adventure of my life. His name was Gnidder, and Uncle Robert and the rest invariably referred to him as a "master mind." But they shook their heads sometimes over what they called Grudder's weakness. " A man of Grudder's mental calibre should ignore with, scorn his rejection at the hands of a purblind modern Press," was a remark I overheard one day. From which I augured that Mr Grudder also had suffered from rejected manuscripts. Emboldened by this knowledge, I rushed somewhat thoughtlessly into conversation villi him at the next opportunity. " Jlr Gnidder," I began artlessly, as he sat in the library microscopically examining the. parasites of a cyclops, "it's very hard to get anything accepted for a magazine, isn't, it?"

To my dismay ho thumped his hand sud. denly down on the table, scattering the parasites in all directions, and raved out:

" Tho relevancy of the inquiry is not apparent to me, young woman!" fixing me with a terrific glare through his glasses. "I—l only wanted to know," I stammered. "T hope I haven't offended vnu."

His glare modified, and he spok-.' more calmly. "'No, no, the suddenness ( ,f y, lU r query prevented me for the moment from perceiving its motive," he said, carefully collecting the scattered parasites and blowing them into position. "Doubtless you contemplate becoming an authoress voursel£?"

His tone was ambiguous, but the words sent delicious thrills all through me. "Oh Mr Grudder," I said breathlessly, coming close to him and leaning my arms on the tabic, "do you think I ever possiblv COTTLD?"

I could see myself in the glass of the picture opposite—a ronnd, youthful face framed in fair curls, and widely-opened blue eyes gazing eagerly into the fierce ones behind the goggles.

" Certainly; T see no obstacle," he said, with sardonic decision. "Raw inexperience and an utter lack of the proprieties of expression form the foundation of literary success in tho preset*, day; and"—contemplating my flushed cheeks with grim deliberation—" I should imagine that in the-case of a young female of your description an introduction to the editor would complete the matter." •

That was how the seed was sown. From that moment I was possessed with but one idea—an introduction to an editor. If my personal appearance (of which Mr Grudder evidently thought a great deal) was likely to impress an editor, how much greater was that impression likely to be when combined with my Genius f—of which Mr Grudder evidently thought nothing at all. A few days later one of the journals to which Uncle Robert contributed scientific matter chanced to contain an illustrated interview with the editor of the ' Firefly,' a magazine " crowned with a peculiar diadem " in my eyes, as it invariably rejected my stories on the comforting plea of "want of space." From this T learnt that the said editor was young and good-looking (the photograph spoke for itself in that respect), leant rather towards the romantic than the prosaic side of life, was possessed of a keen sense of humor (there were lurking lines round the mouth denoting this), and, above

all, had a tremendous capacity for recognising latent talent in young authors. The very person I -was looking for! The introduction once obtained, my future was assured. But how obtain it? Inexperienced as I was—and in knowledge of the world a new-born kitten could have given mo points—l yet knew well that to present myself at the door of tho office in my ordinary aspect, with a manuscript under my arm and a request that i might be permitted an interview with the editor, would be to meet a refusal, polite or otherwise, as the case might be.

No ; it must be something unusual, something startling. My commonplace personality must be concealed beneath some romantic and fascinating exterior, and the introduction must be casual, not formal, in character.

The number of disguises that suggested themselves to me! A fortune-teller, a Sister of Mercy, a crossing-sweeper, an escaped lunatic, a convict in turn commended themselves to my imagination ; but not one satistied my artistic senses. The crossingsweeper took my fancy rather, but Uncle Robert's were the only male habiliments I had to draw upon, and the patterns were too remotely hideous for contemplation. Finally, I posed before the looking-glass as a flower girl in the last stage of destitution, and my mind was made up in a moment. With the assistance of the milk boy I smuggled iuto the house one morning a profusion of spring blossoms. (Save for purposes of botanical research flowers were severely condemned by Uncle Robert.) That oifficulty surmounted, I devoted the rest of the day to my make-up—the before-men-tioned pose had been impromptu merely; the final design was the result of feverish deliberation and profound.thought, I selected lor my purpose an old green frock which I had considerably outgrown This was an advantage, my feet being decidedly pretty. To this garment I devoted my attention for several hours, in order to reduce it to a natural appearance of dilapidation. I tipped the contents of the cruet stand on it by way of a beginning, but the effect on the fabric was hardly as perceptible as might have been expected. Some applications of French blacking were more successful, but a tincture of Uncle Robert's for removing warts answered the purpose better than anything. A few dabs of this brought about a condition of the sere and vellow leaf Jith astonishing rapidity. With some finishing touches, in the shape of candle drippings and jagged tears in conspicuous places, that part of the costume was complete Th* hat was an easy matter. With some rusty black velvet and some wire and cardboard I wove a creation of the Buffalo Bill-Gains-borough type, which did not detract from the general effect of destitution, and yet was ideally picturesque. When all was complete and I had donned my toilette of rags I stood before the glass with unmitigated satisfaction. I had a strong artistic perception, and I could not help seotng how well the dingy dress threw lip my pink and white coloring, and how the large hat tilted back from my forehead became my young round face. I s i un „ my basket with it« burden of yellow, cream" and purple over my shoulder, and as I formed my red lips into an expression of plaintive sadness, and shook forward my hair in a gulden shower over the sprays of daffodils and violets and starry- narcissi, I felt a, modest conviction that I should be an object of interest to any editor of teste. Already I saw myself on the highest pinnacle of fame, and visions of philanthropic patronage I should then extend to Mr Grudder floated through my mind. °

Uncle Robert was alwavs away in the evening, so I had no difficulty m slipping out of the house soon after six. I had ascertained from the magazine article that the editor of the •Firefly' was in the habit of leaving bj s office at nalf . past seven pnjcisely) and it was my intention to be in waiting for him at that hour. I had rehearsed the scene several times. He would come down the steps quickly, a tall, manly ligure, with a dark moustache and dreamy eyes. At first ho would not see me, as I should be crouched in the shadow. Then I should rise up charged with daffodils and an expression of wild despair-I had decided on an extremely tragic pose as the most effective— and he would be spellbound with admiration. I was sufficiently acquainted with the aspect ot the ordinary flower-seller to know that I had struck an original line. He would buy my flowers, and as I pinned them in his coat, upon which attention I relied to afford an opportunity for conversation, he would murmur a respectful comment on mv miser/ and place himself sympathetically at my service ; I had my best story in mv pocket, and the rest would be easv.

I took my seat in the omnibus with some trepidation. I was afraid lest I mi-ht encounter Mr. Grudder or some other undesirable person ; but no such fatality occurred, and as I had muffled myself and my basket m a shawl I escaped observation of any kind- Once arrived in the Strand, however I cast off this disguise, and arranged myself before a glass in a jeweller's window The officers of the ' Firefly• were in George street. I was not quite sure where this was but I knew it was in the immediate vicinity and as I had plenty of time I asked no one, but threaded my way along the crowded pavement leisurely observant. Before I had gone a few paces, '< How much a bunch Miss?" stmck upon my ears, and a man's face hideous and fat, was peering into mine. Iwo-pencc," I said mochanically, thrusting some narcissi into his horrible hand. " Couldn't you throw a kiss i D ?" ho said grasping my wrist. But I shook him off! and went hastily on without waiting for the monev.

The next minute another customer assailed me. This time it was a good-looking young fellow of the "masher" type, whose candid admiration did not terrify me, although I crushed unmercifully his feeble remarks upon the weather. Soon customers poured in plentifully. At first I treated oue and all alike with a cool, business-like air. But after a while I forgot my shyness, the humor of the expedition took possession of me, and it occurred to mo that I might as well rehearse a few of the glances which I intended for the benefit of the ' Firefly's' editor later on. This I did with such effect- that before I knew where I was, I was having a sort of triumphal progress down the Strand, doing a roaring trade and putting up my prices from desperate necessity even- moment, for fear I should reach George street with an empty basket. My trade was exclusively with the male sex, women for the most part eyeing me with scom and passing by on the other side. With the exception of one brawny female, a rival flower-seller, who dug me aggressively with her elbow as I distributed violets at a shilling a bunch, smiling vivaciously the while, to a party of young medicals. The only_pther of my own sex who accosted me was a pale, woman in black, with a face like a Madonna, who swept up to me and clasped my hands and implored me to go home if I had a home to go to. There was something magnetic about her eyes, and although I tried hard to chronicle a lie to satisfy her I felt that I •was giving way, and that in another moment 1 should meekly divulge everything and be conveyed home by her, like a lost lamb, in a cab.

,Tb avert this disaster I took safety in flight, but her eyes haunted me, and I seemed to hear her footsteps following mo. I turned round nervously and found that I had not been deceived as to the footsteps, but they were not those of the pale-faced Madonna. They were the heavier ones of the brawny flower-seller, who had been joined by another fatter and brawnier than, herself, and both were dogging me breathlessly, but pertinaciously, and keeping up a running commentary of abuse.

"Kim on, Sal, down't lose soight of 'er if yer busts yerself, we'll 'avo th' peelers orn er if we drorps for it. Yer ain't blaowcd yet are yer? Wot a pity Liz ain't 'ere.bUe d ha tripped 'er boy th' 'eels, Liz ' u d in naow toime._Th ere she is !_the stuck up' whoite-hvered biby-ficed chit!-Keep hup

" Oi'm kcepin' hup. ain't Oi? Oi carn't do more nor Oi can. It's yur beat, but we're pals in this.-'Ullo --there's Liz !_'Erc „'~7 kim ' cre! a pisty-ficed kid bin sellin on owld Pawlly' B beat.-Se* 'er'thcrc she is,-keteh 'er hup,-oi'm done." Hooked wildly round. One woman had sunk exhausted on the kerb, but the other ™? u Pf mc - a " d a third, a wirv-looking g*l with a tawny fringe dipping* into her eyesand some draggled wallflowers in her hand, darted towards me from the road Desperately I dived between the passersby and fled down a side street, but the tawnvinnged g, r l was on me in a moment and had grabbed me by the arm. I struggled to free myself, but I was like a babv in her hands, and she held me pinned against the wall.

"Naow then, wot's th' raow?" she said, as the other woman arrived on the scene, followd shortly after by the swaying form of Sal, gasping, but triumphant at my capture. "R«ow?" shrieked tie first woman hoarsely, her huge visage purple with excitement and rage. " Woy! Oi ain't took a braown all this blessed uoight. 'Cos woy'— 'Cos all the torfs 'ad gordens on 'em, and Qidn t wom't no more. Stroike me bloind it Oi could mike it out! Then Oi see a norb, one ils 'ad 'is gorden regler from me ever since e come to taown, with toolips enuff on' im ter trim a 'earse. 'An 'e shikes 'is eod and wolves me awy an' 'e ses, " Corn't patronoizo yur sort with smort little- torts loikc that abakt," ses 'e, an' 'e chucks 'is oye over 'is shoulder, an' then Oi sees this 'uzzy with 'er grand 'at an' 'er 'igh 'eels, with a craowd o' torfs rahnd 'er an' smoilin' up in their flees an* loidm' in th' tin as if she didn't woni't it!"

"Orf a craown—fer a bunch o' vilets! Wot do yer sy ter that?" broke in Sal between gasping pants.

"Naow then, young chit," said.my captor, grinning at me derisively and flipping her fingers close to my face, "speak up, wot do yer sy fer yerself ?"

The sudden onslaught had at first paralysed my senses, and I was trembling in every limb, but the tau-ny-fringed girl's insolent derision woke up my spirit. I had an added stimulus, too, in the crowd, which had by this time assembled round us, attracted by the commotion and the shrieking voices of the women.

" I have as much right to earn an honest livelihood as you have," I began in a dignified tone, "and I consider your language and behaviour a disgrace to your sex." " 'Ear, 'ear!" said a voice from the crowd. "Go it, little 'un : let 'em 'ave it !'•

" This is a free country," I went on more boldly, encouraged by this applause, " and if my flowers command better prices than yours it is only a proof of their superior freshness and beauty." Here I cast a withering glance at the bedraggled wallflowers of the tawny-haired girl who was standing close to me, regarding me with a peculiarly enigmatic expression. "Possibly, also," I continued, fairly carried off my feet by my own eloquence, "bv my superior attractions as a saleswoman i"

Tho next moment I was carried off my feet in the literal sense of the words by a resounding slap on the face from the tawnvhaired girl.

Even at this distance of time I can recall vividly the effect of that slap upon me. It was as if even- sleeping devil within me were- roused into fury. Every spark oi dignity, all sense of the plfte and the part I was playing deserted me, and without the pause of a second I struck bade with all tho strength I possessed.

It was the signal for a general combat. Polly and the tawny-haired girl fell on me tooth and nail; the man who had thrown ma the encouraging comment harried them in the rear. A vendor of matches, seizing the opportunity to settle a private grievance, struck out at Sal, and the medicals who had joined the crowd, unperceived by me, attacked everybody indiscriminatelv.

The noise and uproar were indescribable, and in the midst was I, struggling feebly in the grasp of the two viragoes, all my strength departed in that one reckless blow of retaliation, my hat smashed over my eyes, my face scratched and bleeding, and my mind beginning to realise in all its intensity the horror and disgrace of mv position. It seemed to me as if I had passed vears tossed hither and thither in the howling turmoil. In reality but a few moments could have elapsed from the commencement of the fray when I discerned the figure of a policeman striding rapidly round the corner, and behind him-horror ! thrice horror' —the form of Uncle Robert peering curiously to see the cause of the commotion! I waited for no more. With a superhuman effort, born of sheer frantic terror I tore my way through defenders and antagonists alike, bolted down the street as on the wings of the wind, and headlong through an open doorway, the first point of refuse which presented itself to me. A dim «a°slight revealed a flight of stairs up which I sprang, without pause for breath, and finally dashed into a room on the first landing where a broad-shouldered man sat with hk back towards me, leaning over some papers at a desk. He turned his head sharplv at my tumultuous entrance. " Good Heavens !" he exclaimed, rising quickly with undisguised amazement, "what on earth's the matter?" I tried to answer, but as I met his astonished gaze the words fell away from my lips. I know that face with the hair curling crisply on the temples, and the lurking lines of humor round the straight mouth. It was the Editor! The sickening conviction had hardly formed itself when, as if to add the last drop to my cup of desolation, I saw myself reflected in a mirror opposite. Good Heavens ! The aspect I presented! My hat, a revolting mass of starting wire and cardboard, hung in two detachments, the crown rakishly over my ear, the brim round my neck; scratches of all dimensions, some bleeding freely, decorated my face and hands; one eye was swelling rapidly; and my dress, rendered probably less able to bear the strain to which it had been subjected by reason of the application of the wart tincture, was literally dropping from me piece-meal. Of flowers I had none, with the exception of one daffodil with a long stalk, -which somehow or other had become entangled in my fringe, in -which position it stood erect, and gave the finishing stroke to my appearance. I think I can without shame confess that at this supreme moment my self-control gave way, and I " fainted in coils." That is to

say, I went through all the preliminaries of that proceeding, and had actually executed one coil, when a light tap came at the door, and I heard a voice say: "If you please, sir, Professor Rowan would like to sea you."

The next moment I had regained the perpendicular with supernatural rapidity, and precipitated myself upon the Editor's'breast and implored him to succor, help, and hidr. me.

" My dear child, for goodness sake be calm; don't cry like that," said the Editor, alternately administering soothing pats on my back and searching for restoratives. " It's all right; nobody's coming in, nobody shall come in. Tell him to go to the devil!" he shouted over his shoulder to the clerk who stood diffidently in the doorway. " That is, tell him I'll be ready for him in half an hour if he'll call again. I'm engaged now. Now, what's happened? Tell me all about it," he continued, as the clerk retreated, dragging up an easy chair and putting me gently into it.

But I was dumb. All my'senses were strained listening to the sound of footsteps outside, unmistakeably Uncle Robert's. They passed the door, to my unutterable relief, and went on slowly down the stairs. "Has he gone?" I gasped. " Evidently," said the Editor, reconnoitring through the door. "You're sure he won't come back?" " Certain. Not for half an hour at anv rate," with conviction. " He's a very harmless old gentleman, though, I can assure you. Now tell me what's the matter. Lean back—why you're trembling all over. Who's been hurting you like this, eh?" The Editor's voice was sympathetic, his eyes were full of kind concern, and his mouth, at any rate for the present, was as grave as a Judge's. Reassured on the subject of Uncle Robert, my mind reverted to the original object of my mission, and the recollection plunged me again into an hysterical condition.

"It's—all—a f—failure," I said, jerking out the words between my sobs; " and it's all—that—horrible girl's fault."

"What's a failure, and what girl?" "Her n—name was—Liz—and, and " I stopped, choking. "Was she a friend of yours?" said the Editor, gently helping me' on. " Friend !" I sat up, my indignation temporarily submerging my emotion. " She's a perfectly hateful person, with dyed hair and red hands, and she slapped my* face!" "Indeed," murmured the Editor, and I was not, sure of his mouth this time. "A most unwarrantable proceeding, certainly. What was the provocation ?'' "I said I was m—more—attractive than —she was." "It was hardly a remark calculated to conciliate, if I may venture to say so." " It—was— quite tr—true—thex." " Of course, but in view of her muscular superiority wouldn't it have been as well to reserve the opinion ?" "It was-the first-thing I could think of to say. " Do I infer there was immediate necessity for you to say anything?" "Yes. D-don'tyousee? Thev were all yy —waiting." "All? There were others, then, besides the lady you mentioned?" "There were hundreds-all 1-listening and—waiting." *< " Dear me ! What for?" " For me to e.vplain why I'd been s-sell-uig flowers on other-people's b-beat* " "Oh!" "I «l-didnt know. I thought .anybody could sell flowers anywhere." '-, "Then flower-selling is not vour usual vocation, I presume?" There "was a decided tinge of curiosity in the Editor's tone and he was looking at me verv hard " K-no. I belong to quite a res-res-pectable family .at K -ensington I-I- ---™. - 1 - bra «*d myself f or lhe COnfcssionan authoress." "An authoress!"

" Yes, and lU y stories are alwavs r—returned, and somebody suggested that a peroral introduction to an editor might bV a Mp, and It said i„ the interview that you were romantic *„d that you left the office at and so I-I dressed up, and I ~t to nppeal to your artistic _ t __ mnJT .. Her ° J CaUgLt a Sido VieW Of myself ,n the mirror, and collapsed again. But you met with' some of the real article on the way. By Jove !" £a !d the Editor tmzung to hi. desk, and thel -e ,vas no doubt aoout his mouth this time. He was amply ™»nng. UcltasiflshouldlikethefloJr to open and swallow me.

"I'll g-go now," I said, standing „„ -w^v^i? 1 the Editor "*%■ At another moment my heart would hare throbbed with tumultuous happiness a Z -as too present to me. No genius c°ould Jtand against such odds as that Besides modjfied my sense of genius. I rc Z handed hJ St? for which I had braved and suffered w mm* Tien I stood silently by and resignedly awaited my condemnation. S 7 The Editor sat down at his desk and turned over the leaves a. if i,« The,' ,1 , h "° Mlto '» U«»lf. It™, as he approached the end- »*„. •hri^ im S^l in and address. *"*. <* «,. name stand." * begm t0 ™d«.'Y 011 7ft betray me," I said, and the -seemed tense with the solemnity of £ hands SIS' Cam 6 t0 me and P ut Us nands softly on my shoulders. straight mto my eyes, and he was serious rt^' ~lwou!dii' t be^-^ After that I told him everything. Ho knew Lnele Robert, it seemed, quite well Lncle was g olng to coatribate tJw articles, and the Editor had appointed that evening to arrange about the illustrations the Editor, ■««, I think I'd better put vou into a cab to avoid a collision." Really he could not have been more kind and considerate ,f I had appealed his artist . c taste. I shall get Professor Rowan to invite me to dinner," He said, smiling, as he held my hand through the window of the four-wheeler, "and. give me a personal introduction to his niece." He was as-good as bis word. Only a fortnight afterwards, as I was sitting at the window in the evening, up dashed a hansom with Uncle Robert and Qeorge . "I say, you've let the cat out or w 1~-, now," said my husband, tvho had been look" ing over my shoulder the last ten minutes.

"Havel? How? Oh, I see. I'll cross it out."

" Don't do anything of the kind, Kitty," said George decisively; '" that's just the sort of ending editors like.''