POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXIX, Issue 118, 21 May 1945, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Hirohito may be a little yellow god, but he can never be the "Sun of Heaven." * * * Did you know that the aspidistra is a native of the Far East, 1822 being the year of its introduction to Britain? * * * A hosepipe made from cotton, waterproofed through a recently-invented British process, has been tested by the Home Office and declared to be as efficient as rubber. Spun with a low twist, it is woven so that each thread becomes self-sealing. « * * GERMANOMANIA. Bismarck welded the German States into a nation with war as its object, and with "Blood and Iron" for its motto. j The Kaiser's lust for power and world domination augmented the arrival of a suitable occasion. Germans toasted "Der Tag." Hitler's ideals of military conquest are the same of those of Bismarck and the Kaiser—but where is he? *.■ * « ■ TRUE STORY. Three field representatives were having dinner in a Washington hotel. The bill was 30 dollars. The first fellow said, "Let me pay it as my firm is doing war work and is in the 50 per cent bracket. Thus the dinner will only cost me 15 dollars." The second man said, "No, let me pay it—my firm , is in the 80 per cent, bracket. The • bill will only cost me 6 dollar?. ,■ The third man pounced on the bill ana promptly paid it, saying,,"My nrai is on a cost-plus basis. We'll make 3 dollars on the meal." * * * BREAKING RECORDS. A spectacular record for wartime food growing has been set up by two South Africans on a farm only 10 miles from Piccadilly Circus, London, writes Carl Hilton. Their 140 acres at Heston, Middlesex has produced an annual gross income of between £30,000 and £40,000 from tomatoes, lettuces, sweet corn, and globe artichokes. This return, which averages £250 an acre, is among ■» the highest known in British market gardening. ~, , , The men are brothers, Albert and Barnard Rose, and they used to live at Oudtshoorn, Cape Province. They have three simple rules for successunrelenting attention to detail, refusal to accept failure because others had failed before, and using nothing but the very best in seeds, fertiliser, insecticides, and equipment. * * * WHO WON THE WAR? Dear Flage, please note that Hit. and Muss. Hae made their final exodus. I dinna want tae mak' a fuss— I winna daur —■ I'd like tae say just who it wuss— That won the war! I made the twa dictatars think., . I battered them wi' pen and ink Until they couldna sleep a wink, An' sac they wilted— Then baith o' them went, ower th« brink — Like lovers ]ilted! For six lang years tae them I've written, , . An' noo the hour has struck for quitting. , Tae say that there's been harder Hittin'— I'm no disposed. , This correspondence (as is fittm) Ye ken-iS * ♦ * "I'M NO INVALID." Officials at a recent investiture in Buckingham Palace suggested that one badly-wounded soldier should use a wheel-chair. "No thanks," he replied. "Are you trying to make a incalid out of me!" Yet Lance-Corporal Frank Greatrex, of Birmingham, the , man who "refused to be a invalid, is tOAnI he'hts lost his left leg, his right leg is shattered, and a shoulder and hand are deformed. . He received these wounds in the gallant action that won for him the Military Medal he went to the Palace to receive. Frank Greatrex was a champion swimmer and water polo player before the war. Now this great-hearted young soldier, described as the cheeriest patient St. Dunstan's Hospital has ever had, is talking hopefully of swimming again. _____»■_——.