POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXVIII, Issue 136, 6 December 1944, Page 4

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

r ■■■-' I Smith is the most widely-used surj name in Scotland, the favourite Christian names being John and Margaret. Of all the means to insure happiness throughout the whole of life, by far the most important is the acquisition of friends.—Epicurus. «• * * Description (by excited little girl to mother) of bicycle with dynamo lighting set: Mr. has a dynamite under his saddle and when he sits on it it goes off. B.A.Q KECRUIT. The new recruit appeared before the medical board in a bath' chair. The doctors present consulted together,' and then the chief medical officer remarked briskly: "Oil his wheels and pass him out." * * » BETTER HEALTH. Despite five years of war, the health of Britain is in some respects better than in peacetime,-. The annual report of the Minister of Health, published as a White Paper, discloses that for the year ended March last deaths from many diseases were the lowest ever recorded. "Progress towards safer motherhood and healthier childhood continues with new low records for maternal, infant, and child mortality," the report says. "The nutritional state of the population has been maintained, and in certain respects there is evidence of improvement." * * * LOGISTICS. The word "logistics" has bothered a good many, as it has come to be used frequently. At one time it was taken to mean- only "that branch of the military art which embraces the details of transport and supply," this being the definition in a fairly recent dictionary. But it is now being applied to all war planning, and in a recent speech Mr. Roosevelt extended it further when he said: "We are even now organising the logistics of the peace just as Marshall, King, Arnold, Mac Arthur, Eisenhower are organising the logistics of this war." * * * HAGGISTRONOMICAL. "Albion R." has made me squirm In askin' if I wad confirm (Nae doot tae mak' his nainsell wiser)/ If "haggis" is brain fertiliser. There's quite as mony things intil't As colours in Jock Tamson's kilt. True haggis-makin' is an art. There's oatmeal, suet, liver, heart, Wi' onions, saut an' pepper, an' — Some few etceteras. Understan'— A stomach-bag o' cow or sheep Receives the finely-choppit heap. Then wi' a skewer firmly fixt, There's something that ye still dar next. Just boil for three hours in a pat, Then—losh, man' Think what's after that! The quid wife tae the table brings A feast for emperors an' kings. Does it grow brains? I wadna tell. Just hae a feed—then—ASK YERSEU CROWBAR. «■ « ■» GREAT SHOWMAN. Barnum did more to preservv Shakespeare's home than any living man. This sounds strange, but it is true. When Barnum was in England in 1874, searching for curiosities, he learned that Shakespeare's birthplace was for sale, and that it was proposed to pull it down and put a shop on the site. The great showman thought he saw a chance to" secure a prize, and at once offered £2500 for the house. His idea was to take it to America and put it on exhibition. [ However, he had aroused the interest of several Englishmen, who outbid him and paid £3000 for the property, I making Stratford the richer and giving (pleasure to millions of admirers ox (the immortal William. It took a showi man to open their eyes. I G. L. TIMONS.