POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXVII, Issue 112, 13 May 1944, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY FLAGE : G. B. Shaw declares that the country is run by women. Curious none of them seem to have noticed it, , • • ■ ■ * ■ .. '.-■..: ♦ i "The unforgivable crime is soft hitting. Don't hit at all if it can be avoided, but never hit slowly/—Theodore Roosevelt. ■' » # ♦ Even haircuts are rationed in Hitler Germany, and rumours tell of a" black market and illicit trading in coupons by violinists, bald citizens, and poets. ■ *■ * .*. "JUNIOR." The longest name in the United States army is that of.a coloured soldier who appears on the roll .as D. C. Murphy. His full name is1 "Colour Daniels Wisdon, Mya I Know Stephens Faith and Spirit, Choose John's Divine . Communion Seal, Moses' Meekness, Joshua's Zeal, V/in the Day and Conquer All Murphy, Jun." His father calls him "Junior." * ■, ■ ■ . # ♦• NEW ZEALAND. "Of the cleverness of me!"— Peter Pan. We know that our land is a gem, Unique in the Seven SeaS; But why do we boast so loudly, And extol ij; on every breeze? Let us, like the wise old Motherland, Just be, and let all who may See the jewel (as yet unpolishedV Grow brighter, day by day. : —M.S. ■ ■ #, ...'■ ■■. .♦ . ■*. OLD TIMES AGAIN. A revived Luftwaffe had gone over London and returned home, leaving behind a dozen German planes. Three old ladies evacuated from a bombed- . out lower-class block of flats sat around a bottle of Irish whisky in a neighbour's parlour, which was illuminated by the flickering light of buildings burning across the road. Unworried over the loss of their' possessions and their homes, the old ladies drank their whisky and discussed the raid. "Gor blimey," said one of them, grinning toothlessly and slapping a petticoated leg, "I 'aven't 'ad so- much fun since the blitz." : * ■,#..-■: *■ :' HEARD THIS ONE? During a question period following a lecture, a man arose and put a foolish query to the speaker. The latter replied: "■The logic of your question makes me think of another. Can you tell me ■why. fire engines are always red? You can't? Well, fire engines have four wheels and eight men. Four and ■' eight are twelve. Twelve inches make a foot. A foot is a ruler. Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. The Queen Elizabeth is the largest ship that sails the seven seas. Seas have fish. Fish have fins. The Finns fought the Russians. The Russians . are Red. Fire engines are always rushin'. Therefore, .fira engines are always red. I hope this answers your question." -. #• ■ . * , * NEW TREASURE. The Duke of Rutland has been persuaded to part with one of the great treasures at BelvoL- Castle. He has accepted £5000 for an Early English illuminated manuscript composed of a "■ , Psalter and Book of Hours. It will supplement the examples of native art in the British Museum, of which the Luttrel Psalter, bought for £31,500 in ' ■19291, is the crowning glory. The nation's latest treasure is (adorned with fifteen exquisite miniatures and 332 smaller decorations and' was executed for Humphrey de Bohun, Earl of Hereford, who was the father Of Mary de Bohun. She became the mother qf. Henry V. ; *. * * HURRY UP. ' From the U.S. Pacific coast comes another fabulous tale of the launching of one of Henry Kaiser's famous hurry-up ships. Kaiser personally escorted a beautiful young woman who was to sponsor the ship through the yard and up the steps to the bunting-decked launching platform. There he handed her the beriflboned bottle of champagne and told her to get set. I The puzzled young woman looked ,' ' over the rail. Nothing was to be seen ' but a newl--laid keel far below. "But, Mr. Kaiser;" she objected, "there isn't any ship!" ' '. "Hurry up!" exclaimed, the ship- . builder, excitedly. "Start swinging!" . :*■ * - # HISTORY REPEATED. ; If there were judges in Potsdam in the 18th century, there are judges to- .' , day in Coire, capital of the tiny Grison .Canton of Switzerland. In. these words the Swiss Press sums up a comparison of the situation in which Frederick the Great was once defeated by a miller who refused to sell his mill which stood in the middle of the Potsdam grounds, with that of 430 inhabitants of Rheinwald Valley , who for more than two years had refused to be moved from their ancestral farms to make room for a dam. In 1942 the inhabitants of three Rheinwald villages, Splugen, Medels, and Nufenen, which lie in the remote Alpine valley in the Grison Canton were requested 'by Swiss electrical concerns, supported by the Nazi Press, to leave 'their .farms. The Swiss villagers remained indifferent even to Goebbels. They " won their battle. * ...♦'■ ♦ PLANE AT NIGHT. Suddenly now the sky, that silent. place, ,Has sound— A single note, unwavering, profound, Droning through endless space. And nosing through the hollow wastes of night, ■Invisible save for one dim, golden light That moves among the stars, a star in flight. A plane goes overhead. O small, lone thing that flies Through black, illimitable skies, ' Unshaken by the wind's tumultuous1 tread, Knowing your secret end you go Steadfastly through the night, While we who have no final aim in sight Stumble in circles down below! —Myra Morris. * ♦ " ■ ■ ' •» WATER WAGONER. Robert Ley, lender of Hitler's labour front, has climbed on the water wagon ; again. He announces that, true to the Fuhrer's principles, he has sworn off hard liquor once more. How many times this makes we have lost count, writes '"Frisco." The last time was around the New Year. However, we do not jibe at him for backsliding. It is characteristic of rumpots. And. it shows how potent must be the Fuhrer's reproaches, which we doubt not have been bestowed on Dr. Ley for his last splash—almost as potent an influence for temperance as the wan highballs that pass San Francisco's meaning bars at twilight and evening star. * * * , AMBITIOUS PLAN V Plans to build a super air base for civilian traffic 12* • miles from Hyde Park Corner, with seven concrete runways and one of water two miles long and 200 yards broad for flying- boats, has-been placed before"the Government ■ by British Overseas Airways Corporation. The base r which would cost several, million pounds, would be the finest in the world, and would cover 2800 acres. The corporation's dir-ector-general said: "We have a big or- . ganisation and plenty of. aircraft, but < \" nowhere to put our planes.-Our "plans ' call for at least one runway for land planes 5000 yards long and 15ft yards [ wide. 'Water is only four feet.below the . . surface of the ground we,selected, and ] - it would be easy to dig out the soil and make a flying-boat base. The corporation's job is to build the most ef- " ,lficient air service for the Empire, and to do that we have to' have a magni-\. ■' ficerit airport." ■• •, ' •-,••'•-. .-;v-,'lf