POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXXVII, Issue 95, 22 April 1944, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

In the dreamy South Seas our fighting lads came upon a tribe or two, ■who know nothing whatever of arithmetic yet do not run the country. * . • ■ .-■■■*. We never used, to be able to find grandma's glasses, but now she leaves them right where she empties them. THE DRAGON. " Woman in court: Surely my hus- . band isn't suggesting I'm violent just because I throw milk bottles at him. ♦■ ■!.■». : .: .*■■ Rear-Admiral E. S. Land (U.S.): "I don't think you can trust the Japs any more than you would trust a she bear with cubs, unless there were a couple of bullet holes in the bear." * ' ■■■*■■.■.'* HEARD THIS ONE? Over a cup of tea the two charwomen were discussing the persons they "did" for. "Then there's Mrs. 'Arris," said the one in the purple jumper. "Oh, my dear, 'er floors—you'd never believe! When I first started to work for 'er they was awful!" She took a sip of tea and then went on proudly, "Now, after I've been polishin' 'em three of 'er lady friends 'as broke their legs." * ■ .*...■.'♦ SOLDIERS' CHORUS. It's a long way to dear old Moscow, it's ■ a long way to go. It's a long way to dear old Moscow, to the land who fights the foe. W,ell done, Stalingrad, do you hear me, Moscow Square? It's a long, long way to dear old Moscow, brave.hearts are there. -G.a * * ■ * LISTEN. Dear Mame, — No cow I have that is quite true And cream's allowed to very few. I really think it is a sin < To push on us a cow of tin. This cow eats rationed butter fast. The-silly thing should live on grass. Well, we drink tea, so fix a day, And meet once more your friend, MILMAY. *■• * * APPROXIMATELY. Dear Flage,—Do you know that if numbeys one to a hundred are drawn in art union fashion, then the chances of them being drawn consecutively (e.g., 1, 2, 3, etc., to 100) are approximately one in ;00-0,0-00,-000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,-000,-000,-000,-000,000. —GABBY. * * * - UNFAIR TEST. Parallelepipedon, a geometrical term, was said, at London Sessions, to have been a word a motorist was asked to pronounce at 1 a.m. after .he had been arrested' on a charge of drunkenness. The word was with- ' drawn, as it was not thought to be a fair test. Pronounciation of "British Constitution" was said to be another test. The motorist asked what parallelepipedon meant and was not asked to pronounce it.' He pronounced 'British Constitution" perfectly. The jury stopped the case, returned a verdict of not guilty, and the motorist was discharged. * ♦ ♦ YE CARRETS. The Victory Garden is not a 20th century innovation, after all. Back in the 16th century people were advised to cultivate war gardens. Here'swhat Reginald Gardiner wrote in 1597. "Carrets are good and be eaten with salt fich. Therefore some carrets in your gardens, and humbly praise God for.' them, as for a singular'1 and great "■' blessing; so this much.for the use and benefit had in the commonwealth'by Garrets.. Admit if, it should please God that any City or Towne should' be besiegfted with the Enemy, what better provision for the greatest number of people can bee, then every Garden to be, sufficiently planted with Carrets." ■ ■ - - .- : ■■ : ;..'..