POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXX, Issue 113, 8 November 1940, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

There are territorials and hysteriatorials. * * ♦ > ' The Britons can not only "take it": they can hand it back to. the giver plus interest. <- * * • Eire is determined to continue neui tral, and let the U-boats play havoc with British shipping. !> * * * . A theatre critic wrote: "The play ended, happily." What a difference a comma can make! * * * Fun in the news (New York "World"): "Mr. Aitken, before unwrapI ping the cheesecloth covering his models of the monument, told of his relations with the Daughters of the Holland Dames." ♦' - * • CRACKERS. Dear Flage,—Mr. Fraser) has stated he intends to suppress fifth columnists. I wonder if he has forgotten about the original fifth columnists who create such a disturbance once a year. They generally put it over with a bangl Yours, etc., J.G.J. * * * COINCIDENCE. An article which caught my eye in a recent issue of a weekly publication states, inter alia: — "Mr. Lee' stated that the banks create ; credit, and in that simple remark he displays colossal ignorance of , the banking system which he seeks to ; condemn." What a coincidence! I also have been thinking that the same John has still a lot to learn. .. . N SCRUFFY. * ♦ * WHEAT. . Centuries ago the Shah of Persia promised the man who invented *chess to grant him, as a reward, any wish he might express. The inventor, apparently very'modestly, asked to receive nothing but the wheat which would cover a chessboard if one grain of wheat were put on the first square, two on the second, four on the third, eight on the fourth, and so on over. the sixty-four squares of the board. In this way, according to the formula, the Shah would have had to give away more wheat than has ever been grown on the earth. The exact number of grains of- wheat would have been— 18,446,744,073,709,551,615. * ■ & , *■ HEAVEN ONLY KNOWS. Can you tell me how the New Zealand Expeditionary Force became; an "Echelon"? It is a ridiculous word to use for a body of soldiers, and should be dropped at once. Oh, yes, I know that "New Zealand leads the world" —I am told of that all too frequently —but I cannot see why it should be so utterly absurd as to call its troops a name which causes' laughter in Army and naval circles whenever it is heard. "Echelon" is a formation either by planes or soldiers, an army movement, and not by any stretch of imagination a body of. fighting men. If Expeditionary Force describes British soldiers— the B.E.F.—surely N.Z. Expeditionary F Oree —N.Z.E.F.—is correct for those who have gone to fight from these shores.^-I. am, .etc.,. . - - .. 191449181" AND" LONGING TO SERV*» AGAIN. * ' * * BRAIN-TEASERS. Here are the official answers to last Saturday's problems. No. 1: Multiplicity, mendicity, eccentricity, veracity, mendacity, electricity, felicity, velocity. No. 2: Taels, teals, slate, steal, stale. None of the late-comers completed No 1. Here is the list: .Harriet •of Hataitai, Old BUI* M.W., Anon., Newcomer, v Polly Flinders, Lutey, Pipsqueak, and J.W. With the exception of Lutey—who did not attempt itall those named mastered, No. 2. N.Z.R.: Your second solution of the shooting party and the bear is not correct. The South Pole did not come into the picture. Anyhow, there are no polar bears in the Antarctic. Anon and Lee Dee: Thanks; for those contributions. * . '■' '■*''■'*■-_■ THERE GOES MALICIOUS. (The Cup's Tomorrow!) You'd prance upon the racetrack, v Intentions surreptitious; >-'• You'd paw and snort, cavort around, Your eyes agleam, suspicious; You'd send your public one coy glance; You knew their adoration; You'd Bow and scrape and snort again, At all their exclamations. And when the starter's bell sent off Your rivals in the race, . You'd give them all the horse-laugh, As you watched their sizzling pace. Your backers weren't discouraged; You never heard their wails When the mike announced in sonoroui tones, "And Malicious trails." Their faith in you was boundless, , When the time was quite auspicious, They knew the mike would, change its tune and shout, "Here comes Malicious!" Now may the sky above be blue, The gentle breeze propitious, And may the water that you drink Be cool and quite delicious; And may the pasture that you crop Be tender, green, nutritious, And, in retirement, peace be yours, Our dear old Malicious. —ALMA BOLLN. We publish this jingle from "Script,** U.S.A. (via Gemini), partly because Capricious rhymes so neatly with Malicious. * # * INTIMATION. D.8.: The answer to that puzzle-r----which is as old as the hills—has been posted to you as requested. "Old Rowley": Arrived somewhat too late. S. ("England, God Bless Her!"): Narrowly missed making the grade. Returned. _ "Oleander" (Marton): Not for Col. 8, thank you. Ruth: Quite an interesting letter. Are you prepared for another set of brain-teasers? X.Y.Z. (Eastbourne): That local poem anthology for 1939 will be out presently Thanks for what you say regarding that other matter. PiF.: Anyway, we hope you will be able to continue the good work as usual. "John Doe": Make your political quips more impersonal, W.D.C.: An interesting 'topical parody, but much too lengthy for our needs. Remington: For the umpteenth time—Thomas Bracken was the author of "Not Understood." Janette: Sorry, but we are unable to agree with you. In any case, the note is too lengthy for Col. 8. "Jehovah's People": Forget about it! "O. B. Quiet": That rather applies to you, sir. ' Elderberry: (1) We know where they went, but we are not allowed to break the news. (2) That contribution is not new to our readers. "Ake Ake" (or something like that); If we knew less of the Maori languagaf we should know nothing of it. :