POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXX, Issue 50, 27 August 1940, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGB

Talking of war: There's waste metal (bits of it) and mettle (loads of It). Vheil Hitler! * * # No, Melisande. We have never heard of a motion approved by a local body being passed anonymously. Is it unanimously you mean? « * '■ « It is a safe bet that if and when'the R.A.F. smack holes in Berlin dear little Goebbels will spill enough vitriolic inlc to cover them up. a * * J.C.: Then there was the small child who, on seeing a photo of Hitler opposite a photo of a gorilla, said: "Buti Mummy, which is Hitler?" -s * * NO DEUCE FOR DUCE. When President Roosevelt's European fact-finder Sumner Welles called to see Benito Mussolini in. Rome three months ago, he was kept waiting in. the Duce's study for a quarter of an hour. Suddenly Mussolini rushed in, breathing heavily and red in the face* and shouted: "I've just beaten my pro fessional tennis partner!" * * * / MISSED THE BUS. Oh, Hitler, what a fraud you are! You said you'd come to town On the fifteenth day of August And wear the English crown; You said you'd rid the country Of Churchill, Eden, Duff (You'd take the Royal Family And treat 'em really rough). You'd break the British nation And make it bend the knee To Goering, Goebbels, Himmler, And their fiendish tyranny. But Winston's in high office yet And Eden broadcasts still; Duff Cooper sings his song of hat% And don't we get a thrill! You're nothing but a boaster, Hit, You've really let us down. You never crossed the Channel so>— You never wore the crown. TRUE BLUB. Petone. « «• * INFORMATION DEPARTMENT. Dear Flage,—l have a question to ask which you or the Column Elghters could answer for me. It is one of the main topics for argument since the war began. This is the problem: If a man jumped out of an aeroplane without opening a parachute would he travel faster the further he fell, or would he attain one speed all the way down, i.e., would he Increase speed, or travel, say, at 90 miles an hour all the way? • • Yours sincerely, H.W.G. His speed will increase until the resistance of the air equals his weight. This velocity' is about 110 miles an hour. "Dollar at Stake."—(l) The Mediterranean is 2000 miles long, 500 miles wide (at its widest), and the distance from Gibraltar to the nearest African coast is 14 miles; (2) Nicosia is the capital of Cyprus, Bagdad that of Irak. •» * * THIS WEIRD WORLD. The haunted bridal chamber of the Dixcart (Honeymoon) Hotel, Sark, has been famous1 for 50 years^ Recently, it was decided to redecorate the room. Layers of paper were peeled off, and built in one wall was found a cupboard. Inside were 24 bottles of old port. For more than 40 years, until he re-. tired, a milk roundsman of Stoke Newington never earned much more than £4 a week. One day he bought a house and let It. Then he\saved until he could buy another—and another. He died recently, leaving estate worth £13,473. In Kamakuna, Japan, stands a huge image of Buddha, so large that the face measures 18ft from ear to ear; the head is 36ft in circumference and the mouth more than 3ft wide. The image is made of gold, tin, and copper. It was raised in the twelfth century. * » . # • GOLDEN KOWHAI. (Written for a Lad in the Third Echelon.) - • There's a golden kowhai blooming In. the garden. Beside my dear old sweet New Zealand home, And fragrant memories with me will ever linger, . . No matter where it be my lot to roam. There's a tui singing sweetly -in the • branches, — Ah! Well I know that dear familiar strain, And in my dreams whene'er I see the ■ kowhai blooming,— I'll hear the tui singing this refrain—> New Zealand, land of golden sunshine, — Woven fair by Nature's loom. Warp and woof serenely blending, Tinted with the kowhai's bloom. Rich indeed your many blessings, Lovely land that gave me birth. God protect and safely keep you,— Dearest, fairest spot on earth! In that little home near where the kowhai blossoms, My dear old mother tended me with care. Now duty calls, and honour bids ma leave her, But in her heart I know thereto no desDair. For some day I'll be back—and in th« springtime,— I'll see the golden kowhai bloom again, ' Then peace shall reign—and blessed with sweet contentment, I'll join the tui singing this refrainNew Zealand, land of golden sunshine — Woven fair by Nature's loom. Warp and woof serenely blending. Tinted with the kowhai's bloom. Rich indeed your many blessings, . Lovely land that gave me birth. ■- God protect and safely keep you,— Dearest, fairest spot on earth! CROWBAR. * • * CANNED RATTLESNAKE. Periodically, writes Regular Reader, il notice you have a feature called "This Weird World," which contains some curious news items. Here's one story which may interest you Postscripters. The only rattlesnake factory in the world is owned by Mr. George End, of Tampa, Florida. His employees capture the snakes, take them to the factory where they are killed, and then hang them by their tails till the blood drips out..of them. No portion of the snake is wasted. The poison is first extracted and sold to chemists. The rattles are cleaned and sometimes lacquered and sold as curios and lucky charms. The musk, which gives the snakes their queer odour, is sold to perfumers, and the skin to tanners and shoe makers. But there is also profit in the flesh, which is succulent and tasty. It is cooked and canned, and may be eaten like any meat or fish dish with vegetables. Gourmets say that the best results are achieved when rattlesnake flesh is served with whipped butter and cream, washed down with' Burgundy.