POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIX, Issue 19, 23 January 1940, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

;' Holidays—j oily days—folly. days. '■'.**'■ *' ' * '■ ■■ Gladys's toast. Here's to the Germaa Navy—bottoms up. \■:.' ■.' "■•*■ / .:•*■, ■ ■'■ -*. A■. ' i Cleo rang yesterday to tell us that Germany is the jewhell of Europe'; * ■ * * One of these days Hitler will strike —his match. ♦t * * i Printed notice on a London pub's [jug-and-bottle door. I Children of any age under 14 can b« served in sealed bottles. I Cannibalism? * * ♦ ICONOCLASM RAMPANT. Within a window in the town A Maori roasts a pig, And there, "BEFORE THE WHITB MAN CAME," Appears in letters big. ' Quite recently a journal asked: "Was Mrs. Cook a prig?" And now it seems that it's untrue That Jimmy brought the pig! / Why must these darned iconoclasti Cause needless pain and grief? Why wreck in such a wanton way So cherished a belief? ' HEMI PANGO. *■' * * INQUIRY BUREAU. Endy Brown wants to know tht name of the author of this poem and the rest of the verses. War I abhor And yet how sweet The sound along the marching street Of fife and drum: And I forget Wet eyes of widows And forget Broken old mothers and the wholt dark butchery ! Without a soul And even my peace-abiding feet Go marching with the marching street. * * * , ACKNOWLEDGMENT. 1 We are once more at the desk, as , our rather struggling ballade notifies. We are all the better physically for the interlude by the seashore, but the grey matter is still a sleepy business, making no great effort to fight off i^s coma. However, what we found on our blotter this morning will help us back to sanity. From "Lutey," C.8., /Just Me, Tom L. Mills, T.R., Regular Reader, Havaspot, and Q, Kay there are welcome-homes which stimulate . us no end, and Cleo and Northlander rang yesterday and this morning respectively to say how-do-you-do and all-the-best. A considerable number T - of contributions awaited us also; these will be dealt with* as soon as we can sharpen our pencils. " . Thanks, everybody. *' . * ,* * , INFORMATION DEPT. x .- This note is based on an inquiry made before we left for the saltwater. In the World War No. 1 there were more than 1 8,500,000 men killed, and almost 37,500.000 casualties. The ma- . terial losses were approximately £80,000,000,000. ' With that money we could have built a £500 house-filled with £200 worth of furniture- and surrounded by Jive acres of ground at £20 per acre, for^every family in the United States, Canada, Australia, England, W^les, Ireland. Scotland, France. Belgium, Germany: and Russia. There would have been :{ .enough money left % , over to give everyv-city of 20,000 popu- v v lation or more in rail the above countries a library wprtlK £1,000,000 and - a university' costing £2,000,000. There would still have c been enough' left^to buy all France-and Belgium, that is, • all their farms, ,• houses, factories; churches, and highways, every thing," in short, that they contained in 1914. - v * « * ♦ ."BALLADE,OF THE AFTERMATH. Gangling pines beside the sea, Towering into wind-swept skies (What's Become of Brother Lee?) Where the pipi-hunter cries ■ Peevishly at morning-rise;' Waves caress the shimmering - „ strand. . . . Red-nosed, with pathetic eyes. Back we drift from Lazyland., Water-babies fat and free, Masculine and female thighs (Wonder what we'll have for tea?) Shapely some, and brave in size. Some, alas! quite otherwise, ' Frisking <pn the shining sand .. • f As the glamour fades and dies, Back we drift from Lazyland. Grandmamas bathe coyishly To their knees —to our 'surprise. (Who is Hitler? Where" is he?) Grandpas strut and advertise Fulsome girths, and beauty fliei Such sad sights, along the sand . • • From such gauche amenities Back we drift from Lazyland. Envoi: Dear, 'tis not a pack of lies Written % here, please understand.' Sun-burnt, to our near demise," Back we drift from Lazyland. *..* , * • ' THOSE LEFT WINGERS. t Tom L. Mills writes from Feilding: "Jape" is not jake and he,is;.too bitterly rude in his comparison in his corrections on December 30. Goebbels! Adding insult,, but no injury. "Jape's* extravagant claim for Tommy Taylor defeats his prejudices. As a leader and debater T.T. wasn't in the same "grade as Fred Pixani, as the Seddonian nickname of The Wasp proved. Premier Seddon never so honoured any other opponent. Here is a bit of that inside political history so lacking in "Jape": Whenever Mr. Seddon's tipsters tpld' him that a surprise was to be sprung upon him' in the House, the Premier would immediately ask: "Who's behind it?" If the reply was, "Tommy Taylor,'' tthen the big fellow would smile. But if it was. ""Fred Pirani." then the Premier would instruct his staff to gather all the data to meet the charge. Taylor was impetuous and did not look before he Reaped. Pirani carefully investigated every case before he led an attack. Pirani was speaking in a* big debate one night. Taylor drew his attention to the Premier. 1 "Whatfe the use of your attack—he is asleep! Pirani paused, and in the silence said: "The Hon. the. Premier never sleeps , when I speak—does he?" The House shook with laughter when Mr. Seddon ooened his eyes in answer to The Wasp's sting! I know whereof I write, because I was in the midst of events as a political reporter for "The Post" when such history was being made. Hall-Jones was a Left Winger, and Seddon did pluck him out of the wing.,- George Laurenson, of course (the Laurenson of it is correct). F. M. B. Fisher can make his own corrections. The newLiberals were not the Left Wingers— F. M. B. Fisher did not enter the, House until three years after Pirani had left it. Taylor's obiection was to Seddon, not Ward; and T.T. was solidly behind F.P.. who'possessed what Sir Robert Stout called "an Italianated intuition" to the nth degree; and I have also heard Sir Robert call F.P. one of th» brainiest men in Parliament, j^ • v