POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVIII, Issue 5, 6 July 1939, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

8Y PERCY FLAGE

Every speed-hog is ultra keen to take care of his own bacon. ■«• * * News note: Democracy stands firm in word and deed. Especially in words. • « • "Is the Government's heart really in defence?" asks Mr. Hamilton. What lots of people want to know is [whether its heart is in its mouth. i # * * In Christianity a man can have only one wife. This is called monotony, comments Melisande. What a girl! • * • ■ Kood-winked. —The Government still clings tenaciously to its dead idol, the League of Nations, even though its members ought to know that "God is not a God of the dead but a God of the living." They must come down to realities by living in the present in all respects. • ♦ • OH, ADAM! Dear Flage,—l've just had two aerograms, one from Joe Louis: "Ah don't claim I won de fight; I jus' say I didn't lose." The other from Tony Galento: "I don'ta say I loosa da fighta; I oney say I don'ta make a da win." What do you think? Personally I don't care a dam! . . .. SLIM JIM. Wtinganui. . ■a - • • BRAIN-TEASER. . Further solutions. Scruffy, T, I. Roe, M.W. (Levin), Yorky, J.G.M., _ Birmid, Wadestown, Brainless, and A-Z.: Nos. 1 and 2. Alice, Ecurb. (Palmerston North), C.A.W., A.W.M., Newtowniaiv T. Elderberry, Jane, Kelburn Reader (she prefers the bouts rimes to the jumbled words), Col. 8 Fan, W.F. clued out No. 2, and G.H., NaughtyNan, and Fourth Form No. 1. Every now and again we receive re- t quests . for a limerick competition. That will happen all in good time, but at the moment the hidden-words racket is so popular that we hesitate to make a change. When interest begins to fade in this feature we shall turn to something else; there are quite a few we have not exploited, yet. NO YIELDING TO CALUMNIES. (Britain Speaks.) Another Bellerive comes to strike a true Imperial note and raise the spirits of timorous Britishers the world over. Hearken — ' Don't tread on the lion's tail, Despots have a care, - Britain stands for truth and right, Tyrants then beware. North and south and east and well Burns the sacred flame. Loyalty to Britain's Crown. Do honour to her name. O'er the ocean wide and deep She patrols the stormy sea; Don't tread on the lion's'tail. • 'Cause Britain shall be free. • ' DON'T TRLAD ON THE LION'S TAIL. • '' . • .. • FEATS OF MEMORY... This note, from M.G., Hataitai, if a follow-up of a par: published;;a few days since:— . ~: . Marvellous memory seems to" be th« prized possession of all great musji* cians. So wonderful were the' achieve* ments of Hans yon Buelow, and Rubinstein that it was said of them. that if every note of music worth preserving had been destroyed, between them they would have reproduced every line of it. The former once gave a series of twenty 'piano recitals without a line of music in front of him, striking approximately a million and a 'quarter notes; and last century, Verdi, for a wager, played faultlessly :an entire opera, drawn by lot, which he had composed fourteen years earlier, and of which he was not allowed to see a note. Another example of prodigious musical memory: the pianist Mr. Harold Samuel knows practically the whole of Bach. • On one occasion he played, without a glance at the score, eighteen preludes and fugues, five whole partitas, six entire suites, four toccatas, and a concerto as well as a large number of miscellaneous pieces. .

MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. Let me not talk today, my dear. My chillblains sting, my 'cad feela

queer. rm upside down with care—a care What's niggerlin* at my 'cart, so there. An' 'ow it comes an' where it goes Are jest a myst'ry. I suppose Sometimes I worry not a 'oot, _ When care applies to me the boot, But when I'm orf me food I get As'appy as an sufferingette .. Of the old days, when she 'as fought A John 'Op, an' ends up in court. That's what are wrong with me today, So any think what I might Say Must not be 'eld against my name, I'm not myself. But all the same, I'd like to know who else I am, An' yet who cares a Rotterdam! So speak up, dear, Lift up your voice That I may 'appily rejoice In my dispair. Let's 'aye your views About the 'unted 'arried Jews, With who the total aryan block* Plays bottledoor and shattlecock. Let your mind range the world around Like I do when I'm safe-'n'-sound-No jitterbugs-in brain an_ limb. An' worry 'asn't doused toe &*? (Whatever that means), of my opes What's guaranteed by 'orrorscopes Made for me by a dark-eyed clerk WhA «a°d fee sa yck, or *« No words come from you, little one^ Which makes me wonder what Iv» done _w To make you silent as a ffljn* ;; • See 'liter's up to more 'igh jinks, *Bloc? # INVISIBLE IMPORTS. Here's an ad. from an Indian daily, which takes our fancy. "Anything to declare, sir? "No." "No cheroots?' •'No silk or Cuttack silverworkt" "No." ■ ■ "Nothing at all?" n "Nothing—unless ..• "Yes sir—unless? '•Unless you include a head like * superannuated rag +on«ue like a sun-dried loofah. Wed rather a cheerful farewell dinner on the boat last night." . '"there is no duty, sir, on hangovers obtained outside territorial. waters." «I wish there was. I'd refuse to pay, and then you'd have to confiscate it.' •Tm sorry we. can't help-you, sir. But might I suggest for the future the advantage of a long glass of —'s lime juice to wind up late nights? It possesses therapeutic qualities which neutralise the—er—morning 'A"Good gracious. It's so long since I've heen Home that I'd forgotten you could get 's in England as" welL Kuchh 's buffet men hai—sorryhave they got it in the buffet?" "plenty, sir—Hi, sir, come back—• you've forgotten your