POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVII, Issue 74, 29 March 1939, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

It didn't take the firebrigadesmen long to got warmed up to their job last evening. ■ir * « If 700,000 German trccps are massing on the Swiss frontier, you can Vv'.igcr that the Swiss Navy is not inactive. Or is it? * w « A laundry is providing a radio programme entitled "I Want a Divorce." Personally, I deprecate this business of washing dirty linen in public. * •» * Headline — LIFE'S SAVINGS TAKEN. Ours also are being- savarre'y attacked. WHOOZIT. * * * NOT THE FIRST TIME. Facsimile of letter sent to chief warden, Waikune. by irate bush settler on the second raid made by escaped. prisoner, who was last seen splashing about in the bush 111-re a striped marlin in aggrieved complainant's best race-go-to-meeting hat. and without any pants en:— "Dear Sir, —I wish, you'd keip your dam prisoners home. Signed, J. Witts." WILL-GZ2. PUZZLED. I have often wondev^d whether the managers of our picture theatres ura utterly unable to distinguish Oc.\v^..i that awful blaring blatant noise th;:t we too often have to surlier snd the decent music that we are entitled to hear for our money, or whether they inflict the former upon us out of spite for the treatment they*1 receive from their wives. Perhaps you could ask them in your own tactful way, dear Flage. UPSON DOWNES O'FLYFFE. # ->:• •» FOR "WIVES ONLY. (By favour of CD., Otaki.) Good wives to snails should be akia» Always their houses keep within; But not to carry (fashion's hacks!) All they have upon their backs. Good wives, like echoes still should do, Speak only when they're spoken to: But not like echoes (most absurd!) To have for ever the last word. Good wives like city clocks should rhyme, Be regular and keep in time; But not like city- clocks aloud, Be heard by all the vulgar crowd. Author Unknown. v » •::• «■ RELATIVE IMPORTANCE AT STAKE. Dear Sir, —I think most New Zealanders are aware . that we are also ''Australasians," . being part of "Oceania" within prescribed geographical distance of the island Continent of Australia, although one meets people of both countries who look surprised or doubtful about it. What,say you? In regard to the ex-New Zealander from Australia who ssys Australians. regard us as being conceited: perhaps this only emanates from self, i.e., that particular En-Zedder. who noticed how big Australia shows on the map comparatively. Could you arrange to give him a civic reception in Wellington should he arrive here after having spent ten years in Aussie? I am a New Zealander who admires and fought beside Aussies in the World War. FtIDDIFORD STREET. * * « , BRAIN-TSASERS. And still they come—these solutions from far and near. One that interestec us particularly was Diana's metrical elucidation —as follows: Dear Flage, I pen this from a convalescent bed; I could not 'phone, so wrote to you instead. Old teaser (1) I spotted in a jiff, But Number 2 seemed just a. bit more stiff . „ • •: Until I murmured poets' .names by turns— Old Chaucer. Spenser, Shakespeare, Milton, Burns, Friend Byron. Coleridge, Shelley, KeatsExcitedly I sat. up 'tween the sheets. "That seems a likely poet. Nurse," I said, And then triumphantly I snuggled back in bed., "This convalescent business," adds Diana, "has been made ever so much easier by the wonderful kindness of my friends." That's fine. Diana scores full marks. So do Jay S—pondering what to have for Monday's dinner gave her the clue to No. 2 —Jamesie (" . . ■ stick around, Flage"), Newtownian, L.F. (Marton), Wallace 8., and "Just Me." «• * «• WETA! (Apropos episode related in issue of Wednesday. March 22.) Twas suddenly, close by my side, Thp Thing, 'mongst fallen leaves, I spied. 1 gazed at it, there as it lay, Small sign of life did it betray. Though, with its stripes of browia and gold, It beauty of a kind revealed, A frightsome sort of Thing, 'twas» when At last the beastie stirred and then Raised horrid-looking mandible That one.felt sure could rend and kill. It turned about end onward came. "Oh. help!" (a shudder shook my frame) The w -Aa. making straight for, me, A Dreadful Menace, seemed to be, So that, in frantic haste I fled. Of su ,1 wish the earth were rid, O-o-o-o-o-h! I loathe the leggy Things, don't you? F. E. M S. Lower Hutt. * * -» OVERWORKED. We reprint this note lor the edification and entertainment of those who, have not previously read it. (Sent along by C. E Sladc-Jones.) - Mr, Ted Chase the well-known Californian motoring personality (a nasty overworked word is "personality") has recently complained of overwork, and this is how he ex^lr-vns it:— Population oi U.S.A. . . . . 122.1>()!).O(V> Eligible for old age pension 15.1)OO.(H)'J This leaves 107.000.00;) Ineligible to work under child labour laws .... 20.000.000 This leaves 87,000.001) Persons on State and Federal payrolls 22.000.u00 Number left to work 65.000.000 Housewives 40,000,000 This leaves 25.000.000 Disabled persons 11.000.000 Number left to work . . 14,000X190 Estimated number of unemployed 13.89 D.993 This leaves for work .... 2 "This." says Mr Chase,"'"leaves President Roosevelt and mo to do all the work. and. as the President is most of the time away fishing. I am getting tired of doing it all." " Seems to me it's a bit like New ZeaJan^n^youand me, adds th* sender.