POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXVI, Issue 101, 26 October 1938, Page 12

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

There was no pre-vision in the Versailles Treaty, hence the need for revision. * * * Judging by Lord Halifax's disclosures, Britain's best defence today i« words, not swords. * * * It is not strange that burglars should steal musical instruments, seeing that they are not given to blowing their own trumpets. *' * * "Josie."-—Here's a news heading.— HITLER'S HOLLOW TRIUMPH. I wish somebody would beat Adoli hollow. ■ * * * Nomenclature.—How's this for a combination? Tom Tom (sounded at a cannibal feast), who is owned by a butcher, and was ridden by Lamb, paid a slaughtering price at Trentham last Saturday. * * * CREASED AT THE SIDES. Are you aware that Earl Baldwin still creases his pants at the side—and that he borrowed the idea from the late King? And where did the lato King get the idea? This is how it came about—or so it is reported. Edward VII once fell from his horse into a muddy ditch. His tailor was called on to supply fresh trousers in a hurry. In. his haste he packed the trousers into a cardboard box,. and when the box was opened it was found that the trousers had been neatly creased at each side. The King liked the effect, introduced it as a new style, and soon all stylish-men were following suit (no pun intended)—a fashion that lasted many years. ; *'# ♦ ■ DOMESTIC CAMEO.. Because his wife refused to allow him a latchkey a man took the front , door of his home off its hinges and carried it away. The man, who livei in the village of Neuholdersleben, near Cologne, Germany, had been, told by his wife that he must not visit the local inn for a glass of beer in the evening. So she took away his key. On his birthday she asked him what he would like for a present. He replied that he would like the key of the door for the evening. His wife promised to give it to him, but s,he later changed her mind. "You can't have it," she said. Determined to enjoy himself on his birthday, the man- detached the house. door from its hinges and took it with him to the village inn. Later, in a friend* car, he and the door were driven back to his home, ** ' * LOST WITHOUT TRACE. "Alter Ego" (Gisborne) asks (1) fo* the story of the Waratah, which sailed from port years ago to vanish without} leaving a trace. (As the story has appeared twice in this column in the last four or five years, we refer "A.E." to the newspaper files.) His second question refers to the disappearance of the Sumatra. This was an Australian Government vessel of 4000 tons. Before it left Sydney, the chief of the native crew begged the, captain not to start because he and his mates ifelt that evil influence* would be brought to ■■-on - th« Sumatra when she was clear of Sydney Heads. The skipper laughed at the idea. They would sail that morning whatever the crew might think. The man persisted, and finally burst out: "Captain, the ship is doomed!" The captain replied by dismissing him immediately. The vessel sailed that morning according to schedule, and was never heard of again. How she had come by her fate was never discovered. * • •■•■ NO SENSE VERSE. At night the hedgehog snoops around, A bulb of shadow on the ground, When hippopotami, 'tis said, Are cradled in their reedy bed, And soundly sleep the whole night through As all good healthy children do. But, gentles, as we said before,. What does the hedgehog do this for? At night the hedgehog snoops around* Four little legs upon the ground, While happy worms have said their prayers And dashed hilariously downstairs, .Beneath the dewy grass, while wetas» Turtles and tripe-hounds, slugs and setters, And elephants (if we be right) Invariably stay home at night. At night the hodgeheg* snoop* around — To get his tucker from the ground, The which involves his making pits In pansy beds, wherein he sits (Or does he?) while swart gardners use Bad language, which is no excuse. And in no sense can be condoned ... Better if they had only moaned. We know but little of this beast And care less, brothers, but at least, Will some wight tell us why thi« "roughie" Is so intolerably snuffy? *Sorry. * -. » ♦ CAUGHT NAPPING. "Sandgate" weighs in (over Hi* •phone) with another case of a hot favourite who was caught napping— and edged out of victory by a nose. The locale was Eagle Farm, Brisbane, and the horse was a dashing sprinter nearly w.f.a. from the Northern Rivers district. "I had been having a bad spin," said "Sandgate," "and decided to 'go for the doctor' in this particular event. When the betting irted I got in early at 9 to 4. In .out ten minutes the odds had dropped to even money. It. looked a cinch for the" favourite when he jumped put in front in great order. The distance was a mile and a quarter, and the field numbered seven. The favourite carted the bunch to the mile post with his jockey just letting him, run along. Two challenges' failed, and, a hundred yards from the post, the boy on the favourite—he was a flash hound —was preparing for one of his usual grandstand finishes, when a grey mare,' under whip and spur, dashed up alongside the leader, who appeared to be lobbing home. Surprised, the boy on the favourite drew the flail, applied it, his mount threvtf up its head —and . the * grey mare, a, rank outsider, plugged her way to- the judge—to get the verdict And did the mob go mad! An inquiry was held, and the favourite's rider wal stood down for a month. The next time I saw this good-thing-beaten race I saw him die. It was at the same track. In a pseudo w.f.a. event he was lengths ahead of his two opponents when he. suddenly foundered

—or whatever they call it — and toppled over against the rails. He had broken a shoulder, or something, and was quickly put out of his misery." When we told "Sandgate" that we, too, had been present on that particular day, he couldn't believe his eyes—or hit ears. Anyway, we are to meet dh« of these days over a flagon or two of malted milk—if you get our meat* is*