POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIV, Issue 110, 5 November 1937, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

An obvious tip lor narrow-minded men tomorrow is The Bigot. • • * If ever we go hunting for mares' nests we should love to have th» member for Roskill at our elbow. • • * • It clears the air to know that th« interruption to the Prime Minister' 9 speech last evening was not the OpposV tion's fault, but a transformer's. 'Jr • ♦ Death notices in the German Press frequently contain the phrase, "Died with belief in his Fuhrer." A recent notice with those words told of the death of a German with a historic name. It was Karl Marx. • • • News heading: : SEIZURE OF JUNK. This has nothing to do with a raid on one of Wellington's "tips." • • * "Lynchburg" sends this headtagrw LONDON, PARIS, WARN MUSSOLINI. It's wasted; n Duce already has a flnt collection of London and Paris warn* ings. » * # • DINKUM NEWS.; Dear Flage,—Some newspaper blokt once laid it down that if a dog bites a man, it isn't news; but if a man bites a dog, that's news. Well, here we are at last. From the London "Daily Telegraph," 21/8/37: —At Nahan a man, angered by the barking of his neigh* bour's dog, bit it "to teach it a lesson." He was sentenced by the Magistrate t* pay the veterinary surgeon's fees. • » • SILLY QUESTIONS. The guides of St. Paul's Cathedral i» London are most emphatic about who asks the sillest questions. It is the English tourist, who1 brags of having travelled several hundred miles. The first thing an Americans wants to know, they say, is: "Where does the King sit?" Most Americans are interested, the guides add, in any kind of story about the Royal Family. "Aside from. that," one guide said, "most Americans are very anxious to impress, upon you that they are of true British descent, even though many of them have th» most un-British, names." • • • ' FUN IN THE NEWS. . From a New South Wales weekly: Asturian miners, the report said, tunnelled into the centre of the Bay of Biscay and blew it up. The report w« not confirmed. ■ Reported in a Sunday paper: Unfavourable weather has delayed swearing and there are strong indications that the quantity limit will not' be reached. ■ Says a Virginia (U.SJV.) news-sheet. Mr. L. resigned his position last week on account of his death, and is leaving in the near future for Florida, where he is hopeful that rest and a change of climate will restore him to normalcy. . ' In a South Island daily: • A little baking powder added to tha floor in which oysters are relied before frying will make, oysters light and fluffy. " ' v' - ' :' ' ; ■■■■■•■ ■•' ■ ' ■"' • • • ■ ■ ■ LOVELY LINES. Dear Percy Flage,—"A's" paragraph in Monday's column "echoes my sentiments"; it is difficult indeed to cite one's favourite lines when there ar« so many. Perhaps the lines which seem to me the most impressive are those from the Book of Job: "When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy." And Rossetti's lines in "The Blessed Damozel," which are based on th«. above, are very beautiful— The sun was gone now; the curl'd morn Was like a little feather Fluttering far down the gulf; and now She spoke through the still weather. Her voice was like the voice the stars Had when they sang together. : ■■: ;.'■ v : m.w. As space is at a premium these days we must ask contributors to keep their choice of beautiful lines down to a reasonable number.—P.F. FAMOUS VICTORY. (With Apologies to Robert Southey.). Labour Victory—Australian Poll§-»-Special Cable News. (Local Newspaper Poster.) It was a nice spring evening— The voter's work was done, And John and Daddy listened in To hear which side had won; Soon Daddy Labour said, said he,— "It is a Labour victory!" "Oh, Dad! I cannot make that out,-. The other side has won!" "Now! Now! Be quiet, my little lad, Here's where the trick is done; We'll dope our friends, they'll sooa agree 'Twas a,great Labour victory." "Misrepteiienting does no good," Exclaimed the troubled youth; "Now! Now! My lad! Just hold you* tongue. There's different kinds of truth; The voting doesn't count, you see, !Tis just a Labour VICTORY!" CROW BAR. INFORMATION-BUREAU. A.—Here are the lines (c. and 0.c.) you ask for. They are from Kipling's "The Song of the Banjo," to be found in his collection "The.Seven Seas." Let the organ mdan its sorrow to tht roof, I have shown the naked stars th« grief of man; Let the trumpets snare the foeman to the proof, I have known defeat and mocked it as we ran. My way ye may not alter nor mistake When I stand to jeer the soul of fatted things, And the song of lost endeavour that I make Is it hidden in the twanging of tho strings? With a ta-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra-rrp — Is it naught to you that hear and pass me by? But the word, the word is mine, when the order moves the line, Arid the lean, locked ranks go roaring down to die. .'■ M.W. (Levin) also supplied this information. _~...,. Joanna (Wadestown).—The Christian year 1937 is 1355 with the Mohammedans 5697 with the Jews, and the Japanese call it 2596. (A note to this effect appeared in "School's In" several weeks ago.) "Twos Loose."—Al Capone is still in Alcatraz, the escape-proof dramatically guarded prison off the 'Frisco coast. "Constant Reader" (Manukau).—Tlw national colours of Italy are green, white, and red vertical stripes; o£ France, blue, white, and red vertical stripes. Our correspondent wishes do know if any Postscripters have copies ■iof "Notes and Queries," a widelyknown London weekly. He is propared to pay for them.