POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXXIV, Issue 59, 7 September 1937, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

8Y PERCY PLACE

V.N.C. 'Tinirolo).—Definition:. A Scotch mist is a fog which is too mean to rain. - « ■;• £. Without an age limit there could not possibly be a shortage of marriageable spinsters. (Just ask ihem.)- ---* « . « Jack Doyle has forsaken the ring to marry a millionaire's sister. It's easier ■to make big money that way. * «■ * News note: "The Duce will make a triumphal entry into Berlin with Herr Hitler." And won't he just steal the honours! - * • '-• * HEAR, HEAR! ■ ' Dear Flage,—What is-the use of reforms? All that the education system needs is a few more holidays.— (Sgd.) HUMBUG. *■■ , » ' * BIG GAME. Dear Mr. Flage,—On. . glancing through our tariff items yesterday I noticed (mixed up with guano, gumboots, and grindstones) item No. 566: "Grizzly Bars." Is the Tourist Department realising that our National Parks lack the facilities for that spice of adventure demanded by our trap-pigeon-shooters? !.N. MARATHON WORDS. Dear Mr. Flage,—How is this for a marathon name? It appears in the .electoral roll for Otaki, page 122:-r WHAKAHOKIMATIMAIORIAIRANGITANE (Nimmo). Perhaps some1 Postscripter could tell us the meaning of it. Not just Bill, I hope. C. OLD. (It is, too, in the mornings up here.)' Otaki. » •!:- * AMERICA'S CHILD-WIVES! Sir William Beveridge predicts that a shortage of marriageable spinsters will result in bachelors being compelled to marry younger girls. Maybe so, but at least the younger brides will not be so youthful as some in some parts of the U.S.A. At least 12 States permit the marriage of children ranging from the age of 9 to 14 years, so long as their, parents acquiesce. Here .are a,few examples: A schoolgirl of 12 was formally wedded to a doctor of 61. Another, aged 10, became what is termed the child-wife of a struggling veteran farmer of 68. Doris Jayne, Arkansas-born, was a three-times widow at 17; her first introduction to matrimony took -place when she was 12, primarily because her parents were poor; she was literally sold to her first husband, who promised in return to. help- financially the bride's people. In New Jersey two struggling farmer-widowers, both .well over 50, swapped daughters, each to become the "wife" of the' other. One girl was 13, the other 14. No one in. the State protested: the law permitted such tragedies. ■ ■ , «■. ■ » .., ' #■■ WHAT'S IN A NAME? When a Fleet Street free lance is in- need of a few, shillings', he-goes through the London Telephone Directory, which contains a surprising variety of odd names, and, Key presto! with a. sprinkling of comment he has a sellable little article. Jim Angus has come upon such a "blurb," and passes it on to us. From it we learn that the letters of the alphabet are represented in the directory by the surnames Bee, Ccc, Dee, Gee, Aitch, Jay. Kay, Ell, Emm, Kew, Tee, Vee. A large number of the saiJits who appear, such as Andrew, Matthew, Matthias, Michael, Patrick, Pa#, Peter, Philip, Simon, Stephen, Thomas, and Valen- , tine. Of the fruits, there are Almond, Apple, Brazil, Grape, Olive, Orange, and Pear, to mention only a few, and the trees contribute their quota by giving us Alder, Ash, Beech, Birch, Elm, Oak, Pine, and Plane. Classical names .are very numerous, Achilles, Ajax, Alexander, Castor (but no Pollux), Hector (bu£no Lysander), and the name of Caesar being but a few. The Bible is well covered by Aaron, Abel, Abraham, Adam, Daniel, David, ■ Herod, Israel, Isaac, and Moses. Adam is kept in company by. Eve, Apple, and Eden. . (More quaint names presently.) v- * * ' LIMERICKS. ' "There was a dour man of Argyll"— This notice made yours truly smyllr Besides being dour, N I'm now verra poor,, - Through Nash's—not. national—guyllf C.B. A dour old man of Argyll Is now observed wearing a smyll: Near the door of a store, A "bob's" nailed to the floor, And he's waiting his chance with a ■ fyll. SCOTTY MORRIS. A dour old man of Argyll Met a friend, who said, after a whyll: "You're as jolly and placid As strong prussic acid; For Heaven's sake smyll, damn you, smyll!" ' ■ ■ . BELINDA. A dour old man of Argyll Kept hoosc wi' a crony a while! He counted full ten^ And never said "When," Then raised his full glass wi' a smile. WITY-CUS. A dour old man of Argyll Seldom turned on the teeniest smyll; When a friend asked, "Why so?" He replied: "Why for no? I find that it hurts me the whyll* CAMOUFLAGE. \ • • • BIBLICAL MISPRINTS. "Interested" requests further examples of editions of the Bible which received special names from misprints, or other errors found in them. Here is a more or less complete list: The Treacle Bible: "Is there not treacle at Gilead?" Jer. viii, 22. Printed in 1568. The Rosin Bible, printed in 1609, translates the same verse: "Is there no rosin in Gilead?" The Placemaker's Bible: "Blessed are the place- • makers." Mat. v, 9, 1561-2. The Vinegar Bible: "The Parable of the Vinogar" appears instead of "The Parable of the Vineyard," as' a chapter heading to Luke xx in an Oxford edition, published in 1717. The . Ears-to-ear Bible: "Who hath ears to ear, lot him hear." Mat. xiii, 43, 1810. ■ The Standing-fishes Bible: "And it shall come to pass that the fishes will stand upon it." Ezek, xlvii, 10. 1806. The Discharge Bible: "I discharge thee before God." 1 Tim. v, 21, 1808. The Wife-hater Bible: "If any man come to me and hate not his father . . .

yea, and his own wife also," etc. Luke xiv, 26, 1810. Rebekah's" Camels Bible: "And Rebekah arose, and her camels." Gen. xxiv, 61, 1823. To-remain Bible: "Persecuted him that was born after the spirit to remain, even so it ii now." Gal. iv, 29. When this Bibla was in press at Cambridge, the proofreader, in doubt whether he should remove a comma, applied to his superior, who pencilled on the margin tht words "to remain." This' reply was thus transferred to the body of the text.