POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXX, Issue 138, 7 December 1935, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGII

The loose leaf office system isn't new—it was used in the Garden of Eden. * * • Our Prime Minister is right A chap in the saddle for the first time would run a grave mte of coming a purler if he rushed his fences. » * « "Mandy, what foh is yo' goin' inter dat beauty pahlo?" "Go 'long, big boy, an' lemme lone. Ah is goin' ter get me a pehmanent straight." « * • One of our friends, the Noel Coward of a local film agency, warns us that the newest "star" presently to leap the horizon is Lotta Grinz, the Girl with a Thousand Smiles. •* • * This is a copy 6f a bill issued by • Chinese lorry-owner in Vancouver: 10 goes, 10 comes, at 50 cents a went—lo.oo dollars. • » # APROPOS. ' Perhaps when the new Prime Minister says his prayers he will include among his petitions the request made by King Solomon at the beginning of his reign: "Grant Thy servant a thoughtful mind for governing Thy people, that I may distinguish right and wrong. For who can bear the weight of this government?" NEMO. * * • SENSE OF PROPORTION. Scene—the night of the election results. Two girls stood together in front of the "Evening Post," vaguely watching the boards. Everyone was in a fever heat of excitement, when suddenly those nearby were amused to hear one of the girls remark: "Well, I don't care who gets in. I don't care what they do, as long as the exchange goes down. I. want a new pair of shoes from England." The modern Miss has her own ideas about eleotions, and not even they will make her forget the most essential thing of all—vanity. R.M. ♦••" ■ " : QUOTING AUTHORITY. Mary the housemaid was being di 9« charged. However, she wasn't leav» ing without some back-fire. "Well, madame, I know why I'm. being fired; it's because, I'm told, I'm prettier than you are." "Who told you that?" "Your husband; and what's more I'm told I'm smarter than you are." ■-* "And who told you that?" "Your husband; and besides, I'm told I know better how to kiss than you do." "Did my husband say that to you?" "No, ma'am, it was the chauffeur who told me that." # * # ' SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that— : (1) A 106-year-old Pole is now • bridegroom for the sixth time? Three wives died, and two were divorced. (2) Betty King, aged seven, swallowed a toy whistle, was rushed to hospital, coughed at the first whiff of the anaesthetic, and voila! out came the whistle? ' ■ (3) We are credibly informed that the oyster-eating-record is held by a Bluff fisherman who devoured 36 dozen Stewart Islanders at one sitting? ', . .-..'. (4) A girl at Oxford University may now go to tea in a man's room without a chaperon, but she must not stay after 7.15 p.m.? . (5) The wearer of the first silk hat (Strand, 1797) was charged with "incitement to riot" for wearing "a tall structure having a shiny lustre, calculated to frighten timid people"? (6) There is a strange shop in Northwest London where you can buy anything from flies' wings to an orangutan, and from a microbe to a whale? (7) The annual contingent of recruits called to the Soviet colours is 1,200,000 men, of whom 800,000 are passed for military service? (8) Habitual traffic-law violators and those unable to pay fines are compelled to attend night school in Denver? (9) A hospital for 1000 lepers is in process of erection in the Himalayas at an altitude of 5283 feet? (10) The largest doll's house in the world, the property of Colleen Moore, film star, takes the shape of a castle nine feet by nine, and fourteen feet high, which took nine years to make?, ' * * * " CONSOLATION. For a change—these rather beauti-; ful lines, soothing and tender, written 'by George Villiers, and sent to us by one whose economic vicissitudes in a back-country Public Works camp have not dulled his appreciation for literature. , I know that somewhere under the sun There are quiet women Between white walls, going about their peaceful tasks In a blue twilight; Folding things, And putting things away, With quaint, restful minds dreaming back into the past, Content. And men coming home tired aft«r their labour, Into cool rooms plunging out of the glare and heat of the day, Looking in the eyes of the women < they love And knowing that life at least cannot rob them <* Of so much as they have had, And happy so. And lovers creeping closer in the dusk," Pleading their pitiful vows under the moon. And little children falling asleep lik« ' flowers. And men and women gathering in wide open spaces With exultation in their hearts At some great news. ' Somewhere under the sun I know these things must beThen why, in Heaven's name, do I sit brooding here In the pit of mine own thoughts, Dark and unhappy. When for a moment I reach out to them, even in vision, I know a consolation Deeper than thought? O foolish me! O blessed human kind! • ♦ • A PURPLE OBITUARY. Specimen of the late Georgian rococo style from a set of resolutions adopted by the highly-literary board of directors of the Georgian Railroad and Banking Company, of Augusta:— For some good reason, we know not why, like the lightning's blast shivers a monarch of the forest in the fulness of its glory before the measured limit of its years of useful service by man's reckoning had come, so death struck Jacob Phinizy, a noted and distinguished figure in our midst, because of hia boldness, prominence, and greatness, perhaps, and hid him from our eyes and communion, and crumbled the proud and stalwart proportions of his brain, courage, and power into the dust of humanity, which await alike the inevitable, of the high and lofty. as well as those of simple and low estate, and which encompasses, encrusts, and decays departed mankind, leaving the heritage of his life and character ..jQ-us.Jeft behind.