POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXX, Issue 126, 23 November 1935, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FUCR

History repeats itself, but' how ntanr '■ listen? ' ■ " -. ■ * * • '''".,' "G.G.G.'s" favourite" . sound:—The ■'- merry tinkle of crockery being washed up by SOMEONE ELSE. ■ ' ' Even if Dunedin's Mr. Munro should <■ eat those fiery words of his, they will' probably give him' political indige* ' ' tion. . '. > « • »•.'■*■'' Then, Mr. Savage, there w*s a maa (discovered by Dean Swift's Mr. Gulliver) who worked eight yeare on a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers. Heard during home-brewing operations in an otherwise respectable »üburban establishment:—Four-year-old (plaintively): Daddy, Mummy says hurry up with the bath. She want* *o wash me. • • • FOLK SONG. John Cit'zen, John Cit'zen, oh lend a* tny mare, Ah la lang, ah-la lang, yootalang leel For X would be riding to Parliament' Fair, • ~ . With Bob Semple, Charlie Chapman. Peter Fraser, Petes Butler, Bob McKeen, old Uncle Nash Walter and oh! Old Uncle Nash Walter and oh! (With apologies to the author of "Widdicombe Fair.") 1 ' - J.E.H. • • • CURIOUS'PLACE-NAMES.' "Val" writes: The new arrival from England was looking at'a map of Australia. "What funny names some of - the places here have got," he commented. "There is Wagga Wagga, for instance, and Tally garoopna, and Upotipotpon——-." "Yes," said the Aussie, thoughtfully, "I suppose they do sound strange to the cars of a man from London." "Oh," said he, "I didn't come from London. I used to live in Pokestogg-bn-the-Hike." • '• • THE REASON; This story (among others) is sent by one who signs herself "An Old Lady," who says she enjoys this colmn and would much like to "help in the good work" occasionally: , , , It seemed that when Rastus and Sam died they took different routes; so when the latter got to Heaven he called Rastus on the .telephone. "Rastus." he said, "how yo' like it down thar?" "Oh, boy! Dis here am some place," replied Rastus. "All we has ter do it to wear a red suit wid horns, an'ebery now an' den shovel some coal on de fire. We don't work, no' more dan two hours out ob de twenty-four down here. But tell me, Sam, how is it with you up yonder?" "Mah goodness! We has t- git up at fo' o'clock in de mawnin' an', gathah in de stahs; den we has to haul in de moon and hang out de sun. Den wehas ter roll de clouds aroun' all day " long." "By.t, Sam, how come it y' has ter work so hard?" "Well, to tell de truf, Rastus, -we'i ' kin' o' short on help up here." *.;• ■■' • ■, .». SCHOOL'S IN. =■,-- - - ' Do you know that— 1. It is against the law in Shanghai, China, for engaged couples to walk arm-in-arm in public places? ~ 2. In 1798 M. Testu Brissy descended in one of the earliest cylindrical balloons mounted on a horse? 3. The pearl is the only jewel that needs no cutting or other treatment in order to bring out its beauty? 4. When the oldest harp, excavated from Ur from the grave of Queen - Shub-Ad, was found, the fingers of a sacrificed harpist still clung to the strings? 5. A gold watch, said to be 253 years old, is owned and still'used by a. 79? year-old baker of Amersham (Bucks)? It is only slightly larger than a halfcrown. .... 6. John Dunn, a Briton who settled in South Africa in the latter half of the last century, became a recognised Zulu chief, and lias left 79 children? '■" 7. Britain's most famous pawnshop, the Old Nautical House, recently closed down after 125 years of business? 8. By simple- taming methods, involving infinite patience and'kindness, a man has established a hive of halftame bees in the Clifton Zoological Gardens, Bristol? ■ 9. Charles Kuschernshou, a Rumanian in residence at Malta, claims a record by diving and remaining under water for 3 minutes 16 seconds? 10. In India millions of people worship live snakes of every poisonous variety; and there are snake grove* in every little village in some prov- - inces? •-* • • BALLADE OF BELLOWDRAMMER, For reasons that you may discern (They are, we say, quite comme II faut) You may be interested to learn We never to the talkies go. Our theatre tastes are somewhat low, Running to drammers rich with gore. Such as that wild rip-roaring show, "The Body on the Bar-room Floor." It did not make our innards chum To see. Nell Denver wrppt in woe When her brute-landlord sought to turn Her and her chee-ild out in the snow, v • And Little Eva —No, ah, no! And Little Willie—say no more! Such soppy stuff ranks far below "The Body on the Bar-room Floor." For "Moths" we did not care a dern, The "Lights o' London" was so-so, • And never, somehow, did we yearn For Marlowe, Shakespeare, Shaw, and Co., But there were thrills that made us glow, And sin and mysteries galore, In that smash-hit of long ago, "The Body on ths Bar-room Floor." Buskin, you ancient tattered pro., Over a glass let us deplore The passing of that blood-splashed show, "The Body on the Bar-room Floor." • # • PRAWNS. At an election meeting the ojher evening a sour-faced individual said to his ncighSour: "He (referring to the candidate) is talkin' rot. We're nothin' but prawns in the game." The which reminded us. Do you know that a real prawn has six mouths which are all employed simultaneously when it is feeding; that it belongs to the same race as the grasshopper, which explains its jumping abilities; that it excels even the chameleon in its power of changing colour to blend with its surroundings; and that it will break off a leg if caught by it and then grow a new one without the slightest difficulty? Then take the starfish—they are even more expert at replacing parts of themselves. In some kinds, when an arm is broken off, not only does the old starfish grow a new arm, but the broken-off limb will sometimes grow other arms to become a new starfish.