POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVIII, Issue 96, 20 October 1934, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Whatever be the limitations of th» average Royal Commission, it is never at a loss for words. * * -* Musiu (remarks a publicist) accurate* ly reflects a nation's feelings. If that* so, America must feel simply awful. * it tb When you cannot rniso a laugh front this column try going out to have » look at tho hats women are wearing nowadays. • • : •;:■ « «■ ' "Anon" (per 'phone) suggests that if this country ever enjoys an airmail the Government should print the stamps on flypaper. » • ♦ • Man is steadily accelerating hia speed in the- air, but so far he has producod nothing to touch the commonplaca flights of fancy. . *.* . * . Then there was the Scot who, in* vlted to a golden wedding celebration, brought along a copy of the Golden Rule as Ms gift. * » «■ >. PAEADISE VIA PERDITION. ; '' Intoxicating liquor is the way to damnation," stated a minister recently in a contemporary, which gave mo pause—sufficiently long to see both sides of tho question, as follows:—' "Tho road to Hell is drink!" lie cried, "It leads to every vicel." Tho road to Hell, he did not say, Is tho Bottle-Oh's Paradise! ■ ESPERANTO BERT. NEW THOUGHT. Hearken to tho late Frederic Paulbafy distinguished. French writer and philosopher, on a fascinating subject:—lfj one could only live one's life over again, with the experience that one has gradu* ally acquired! You will say that to yourself, and you will think of everything you might have done that you did not do and, even more, of everything you did do that yon would not do, again. But if the omnipotent Lord offered to allow yon to live your lifa over again from childhood with your present personality, I believe you would reply: "God, .do not take so much trouble to give me all that worry] again." . MEET AN OLD FAVOURITE. A few years ago I was travelling with a third-class theatrical company doing tho smalls. We arrived at a country town and put on the show. I %vas in the box office. A young fellow \ popped his head in at the interval and said: "How, long are you jokers stopping here?" I said, "Three nights." "Well," he said, "Can I have the samo seat for the next tw, nights?" "Certainly,", said, I, "but it's the same play, you know. Do you like it?" He said "No, I don't. I think it's pretty rotten, but —it's that bit in the third act where the lover hops out of the bedroom window, just before the husband' opens the door. One of these nights that joker will be just a bit too late, and I want to see what happens then.". Yours still, OEVILLE E. DTJPPE. * -s- >;• SCHOOL'S IN. , Do you know that— (1) Australia's first wool export (1807) totalled 245 lb; last year it wasj i,ooo,ooo;oooib? ' - (2) A veteran L.N.E.R, (England)' engine driver, recently retired after 50 years' servicoj had a record of 2,000,000 miles without accident?' (3) A bolometer is so sensitive to a change of temperature that it will di^ tect the heat of a candle five .''miles" away?"'/ : "'.'' ' ■ . :- '■ • ■'"•'■ ■ (4) Anton Lang, the Christus. of tha' ■ Passion Plays of 1900, 1919, and 1934, has been offered £500 by an American woman for a lock of his hair? ' . (5) The Baltic Sea averages only 129 feet in depth, and the Adriatic between, Venice and Trieste 130 feet? . [ (6) Among the hotels of Pau are tha Hotel of the Blessed Sacrament, Jesu3 Christ King, the Christian Villa, and the Hotel of our Lady of the Angels? (7) The "blue sheep" are amongst the rarest of the earth's largest mammals? They live in, the mountains of Western China at elevations of 10,000 feet or more. (8) The moth never eats (it has neither mouth nor stomach), but each of its children will consume 96,000 times its own weight of food? (9) There are 60,000,000 documents in the secret archives of the Habsburgs at Vienna? The oldest dates back to the ninth century. (10) Belgium annually consumes 165,000 tons of pork, 147,000 tons of beef, 8000 tons of horse jneat, »n.<* 11,000 tons of sausages? ' ■. ■ «• . * * - . NO PLACE FOE PICNICS. When sullen clouds Have masked the skjr 1 For days, and shrouds ■ Of mist roll by, And garden things Can scarcely breathe, And no bird sings The leaves beneath—When the night long A gruff wind drones A dolorous song That chills one's bones, And men with spats (And men without), ■■■ Hold tight their hats, ■ And stamp and shout:" Lot them not swear Or be perverse. Or claw their hairThings could be ■worse". , We read (with smiles) That Jaluit in The Marshall Isles, Though hot as sin, Has annually Of days quite fine Only some three And twenty-nine! TUIS. Wo enjoyed an exciting experience yesterday, We entertained, in a sensa unawares, three distinguished bird visitors. It happens that our woodland patch adjoins tho Botanic Gardens, our troos conferring intimately with theirs. Well, as we stood near the gate wondering if our roses would do better this season, there was a flurry of wings through the green, and three tuis alighted in the red kaka beak and began to thrust impetuous bills into the blooms. Nervously, but determinedly, they regaled themselves, and wa only ten feet away partly masked by a rhododendron. Suddenly a starling swept across, and the tuis, startled, rushed to one of our now-depleted knwhais. The alarm past, they plunged back to the kaka beak and resumed their fluttering search for honey. By signs and omens we guessed that two of the birds were lovers: perhaps the third one was present in the role o£ chfiporon. If so, it rather failed in its highly moral duty. It was left hopelessly behind when a spatter of rain set; tho party a-wing once more, anfl the last we heard of it was a bark, foX lowed by a magpie-like yodel, from thi depths of the Gardens treetops.