POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 147, 24 June 1933, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

If New South Wales's Government Statistician is right, we shall have to refer in future to the Douglas Discredit System. - •».. ■# - » Jarring note. A woman in Los Angelos was arrested' last month for beating her daughter,' a radio, singer, with an iron bar. '.*■--,..* * This is one we helped ourselves to when thp author wasn't looking. Hint to wives*. Husbands are'like eggs. If you keep .hem in hot water too long they're likely' to become hard-boiled. ■ *• * * '.Out of evil conies good. It required the biggest depression on record to make New Zealand realise that .the fellow with the best product makes tha most sales. - ■.-.'*>■-. '.• * #• DIPLOMATIC FLATTER?. America's woman Minister to Den*> mark -told -the Danes on' her arrival that "no two nations are so akin in outlook,' thought, and sentiment. Wo even have the same sense of humour."! And how! •.'."■•.>■-..* #' * , .-ARMS AND THE MAN. News note. -According to'latest advices, ■ there' are' more women under arms in Russia than in any other country iii the World. [ But Wellington has its share: you should see-them returning homo (smelling of powder, too) in the trans-Bay ferry on long summer evenings. »v* : » TRUTH IN A JEST. On tho home-going, tram the other evening they were discussing the World Economic Conference, with particular referenca to Uncle Sam's part in it. Said one: ".But the Yanks got the cream out of the war," Tho other snapped back with, "Yes, but I'll bet theyj don't"get the sugar." * . *' . » -MODERN ■ ART. Josh Billings's advice to -women, "Be' beautiful," has been followed. Hardly a woman now, even in , her, 90's, but has kept "that schoolgirl complexion" and "those coral lips." Keats says: "Beauty is truth." Well, in his day it may have been; now it is applied art. R.J.P. * » # '"CAUTIONS FOR CARMEN." i Th.c .above is the heading of a notice , prominently displayed in our municipal traffic office. From what I remember, of the case of the lady named, I certainly, think that a friendly word of warm ing from a disinterested party might have had a salutary effect. Surely, however, it is too late to talk about it now. UPSON DOWNES O'FLYFFE.. :*. .. ' • * BEANS AND HAS-BEENS. Flage, —As I can't invent theso things I steal 'em. Have you heard this ono? It is a story told (I read) in a speech at the N.U.T. Conference at Aberystwyth. A teacher, when giving _ lesson oa beans, asked the children to ' compose sentences containing the word "beans."The usual bright boy produced: "My father' glows beans," ' and" tho usual bright girl was with: "My mother cooks beans," and then a littla one mado this effort: "We are all human beans." * * ■» SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that:— ' (1) Herriot, former Premier of France, is tho author of a best-selling biography of Beethoven, now in its 68th edition? ■ ! (2) ,Ift one day, Now York City collected 1,250,000' dollars just for beer licences alone?, (3) In the ,war against Argentina, Brazil, and, Uruguay, almost every; adult, male" in Paraguay .was killed* (_) The head of Roosevelt's "braia trust"- ■ (Professor Raymond Moloy) draws'as Assistant" Secretary, 9000 dollars a year ' (minus a 15 per cent, "cut.'),' and 2000 -.dollars from his pro- ■ f e'ssion^l. -job ? (5) Last month II Duce,' astride a motorcycle, reviewed 10,000 motorcyclists, who rode past the Big Chief with tcriifiic din? (ft) ' There are two spots on this Earth where daylight saving does not work: near tho Equator and in the Arctic, land of the midnight sun? (7) Tiie largest mahogany trees ara found'Jri the forests of West Africa. From there came the most valuabla tree ever known: it brought £2300 when sold as timber.' (8) In the world today there ara some 15,000,000 Jews, or one to every hundred and fourteen persons living . Great Britain's Jewish population num-bers-300,000. * (9) A Scotch proverb has it: . Tho gravest fish is an oyster, The gravest bird is an owl, The'gravest beast is a donkey, And the gravest man is a fool. ' (10) It is estimated that th» marsupial lion roamed the great spaces of Australia from about 2,000,000 years ago until it became extinct some 20,000 years since?

PSYCHOLOGICAL. ' (Acknowledgment to Mr. Cojites.) "Slump" is such'an ugly word. It should never more be heard* In theso day's, when all mankind (Male and icmale) seems to _n_ Dolorous omens making faces In most unexpected places. <<Slump." The very word iOUMi drear And distressful to the ear, WhUe,-as you know, it connote. Unmet promissory notes, Bills unpaid,'and burly bailiffs Tyrannous.'as old-time caliphs, Overdrafts.that, leave one. windy— Not to mention now tho indeFatigablo receiver crew, AVho have quite a'lot to do— High idealistic plans, All world-savers, making man's Future peace and plenty sure, Guaranteed * the Simon Pure, Politicians worried _sore. Doing something, talking more, Editors, .those luckless wightsj ' Getting Httlo sleep o'nights, .Uplift ballads.on the air • Which are rather hard to bear. '' Slump —t hat despicable word ' Tells of hopes fled or deferred. Say instead: "How fine it feels, Rounding corners on two wheels." .'■'*-* '■". *~.-'* B;ASE INGRATITUDE. , This is'what we received for being _ party to assisting . one of our up-and-coming merchandisers to have a superfine, all-wool, hand-stitched fire sale:— "Advertiser threatens to punch your (censored) nose. If you're so (censored) clever you., can think' out some better idea for a sale-and.write the advt heading your (censored) self." Now, there's an ingrate for you! Sounds like a football fan who has lost bridge money at the Park. But we canwrite "pulling" ad. copy—especially if tha fee is right.. .