POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIII, Issue 26, 1 February 1932, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

It certainly appears to us that "Big Jack" Lang, like our "Jenny; Golightly," is well on the way to th« 1.0. U. standard. * * * From the "Agony" column of "Th« Times":— ""Welcome Christmas gift. American silk stockings, extra fin«, beautifully; shaped. Best possible value (gelling out to buy British). Can be seen anr time at advertiser's house." *' * * SHOULD PLEASE EVERYBODY. Apparently the kind of. tariff the Ramsay MaeDonald Government nan in mind is a Freetrade. one . which -prill yield all the economic blessings of a. robust Protectionist policy. Clever work. . . . " «■ * ■'•'■. MORE NOISY MEATINGS. Dear Percy Flage,—This, In huga letters, upon the window of a suburban butcher's shop: "We don't need to blow our own trumpets. Our meat beats the band!" Surely, in the case of a leg of mutton, self-praise is no recommendation! It might be the hot weather. Still, every effort should be made to keep it quiet. - •.. ' ..-_.- "G.H.W." - * *. . : » A SCOT'S BRIGHT IDEA. Dear Percy Flage,—For my part I refuse to get excited or--fly to drink, over the - prospect (J). .:cf. the present "strike" of relief workers .becoming .general and persisting over';: a-... long period. In that case, brither-. •/Scot, there would be.no necessity, for^ the Government to raise the unemployment tax on us. :/ Indeed, there might be no necessity for continuing it. seeing that unexpended grants .- for relief, work $ are automatically returned to the board* Look at the money that must have been saved in Lower Hutt. and Petone thij week. —Yours for more direct inaction,; • .- ■■■■- SANDY MeTAVISH. ' " ■•' . * * :; * •'- • ... NOT QUITEi'CLEAB, Dear Percy Flage,—There is an a*. vertisenient on a. certaia : Wellingtotf almanac that, somewhat amended, runt as follows:— : ■ ■ . . ". MATJYE CABS. /-• :.'.-- Per Is 9d mile. ' 'Phone OOocxx, 14 . lines. " ; . 'Never Engaged, Does tjhe ; last line, apply to the cabs* the 'phones, or both? Thanking'yon in, anticipation of an, early reply.—Youra ever, - •-..-■ ■•.. ". ■_• ' ':. r>.:. .■■,.■•■'■■-.■■.■ . JUMBO. ' ...Thoughl it is a trifle ambiguous,- -wv think it does. —P.F. '■- :.-•■.■■■ • . • • ■♦■#■. ... FIERY ORATORY. . -. ' '. When your extremist demagogue cuts loose among the English language, thea things are saidl "Bolivar," who listened in at the Basin Reserve:-yester-day, returned with one or'two-trifles for this column. One orator, smiting the atmosphere with his rhetoric (see Oxford Dictionary) asserted: "We must have a propaganda committee to propagate." That is a noble declaration, but personally we should like to know what was to be propagated. Another impassioned outburst had reference to "sabotage"—a term used, by the way, on almost every •imagmable~bc~casiou with, almost ■ every ■■ imaginable;'"meaning. The gravamen of this, particular outburst was the wickedness and grinding tyranny of"the "top dog," who had (the world was. assured) used that deadly weapon so ruthlessly that he had even "sabotaged (with motorcars,; etc.) the horses until they had no grass to.eat"! If that is the truth, as a lover of horses we intend to tear our. sabotage from its scabbard on the wall and raffle it in aid of the IT.W.M.'s • propaganda committee to propagate something as yet unannounced. •' ' * :'*'..* -V 'PSYCHOLOGY IN RACING. : . Ptar Lap continues conspicuously ia the news from Aqua Calieriter. ■■- Accord, ing to Ms trainer, he "needs company." Probably ie'U get all the. company.he wants, and then some more, when he is reaching out for the big stakes. However, everything possible is being dpne to-encourage.invthe champion a superiority complex—that, es you must understand, is a real necessity in the' States, especially. ■ for visitors. For example, through, a peep-hoi* in an intervening wall Phar Lap can look ..down upon-a-ponyAext door when, he .feels lonely, :and his courage, maybe,.is failing. Again, for rthe .further reinforcement of his moral, one ef his other near neighbours is a cheap selline plater—out here he would:be called a hack. Thus, you -will observe, ■ Phar Lap is ..getting eyeiry. chance to vrun a. 100 per. cent. race. .He is even' referred to as the."thoroughbred- toast .of r Australia 3'—a charming .figure of speech, only we all-hope that:-the-Joast will.net be-done brown; don't w«? ■■ :■• ■•■ •.:,■-.;*;-. ~ ■=_::., ■ SPARE OTIR BLUSHES. '\ Dear Percy Flage,—l read-'this atrocity, over to your;sister,.'Cambu Flace, and-she asked.me to send. it.in to-you, Hnnking-.it might, tickle your -fancy. In a fair New Zealand city," ■-.•'•• There's a scribe who's, so.darned-.witty, J-hat he puts us-in good spirits .every night,.. :■; •■■•■ ■-. r:;.y.> '■' Whether- criticising-ruinour, : .; .. Deftly scoring off-a "bloomer,?'' Or giying us the true dope on: a.fight* He drives away despair ■-.-•■ With his undoubted flair For turning heavy reading into light He raises many a laughWith a humorous paragraph, On a subject that has somewhere met : his eye. They call him Percy Fla<*e, •■' (See the "E.P." leader page) And in our esteem his rating's very high. Jl To him there's no word "glum," And we hope for years to come Ho explains our every "which" and "where" and "why." "The Melon." *; * ♦ MOST APPROPRIATE.' Dear Percy Flage,— ." Cornstalk ?' and .yourself as good Australians may recall Melbourne's Al Capone, "Squizzy" Taylor, who. was 'bumped off" in a gunfight with 'Snowy" Cutmore. I was in Melbourne at the time, and have strong recollections of the large cross of whito flowers placed on the coffin. But that is not what I was going to write about, as no doubt full details of the obsequies were broadcast at the time. '' Squizzy" complained onco to the Commissioner of Police that the C.I.D. were embarrassing him, with their attentions, and questioning him about "rackets" of which he knew.nothing. Apparently a truce was arranged, "Squizzy" agreeing to "go straight" in consideration, of the lifting of the close surveillance by the police. At 'that - time he was living in St. -Hilda, I think. Anyway, he renamed his rather palatial- residence, and no doubt many people "were relieved when they read on a neat brass plate on his gate "Dunrobin." One of Melbourne's .-journalists received the credit for having suggested the appropriate: name to "Squizzy." EROS* .