POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXI, Issue 68, 21 March 1931, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

UY PERCY FLAGS

AYi: wondc.r whore Mr. Atmorc got Iliiif. idea controverting (lie theory that experienced business men am not necessarily an asset (o a Legislature? Mi-, lilack, M.1., has dissociated himself front the United Party. The prospect of further dissociation, so in* as liv is concerned, prompts this mctri» e:il open letter— 'When the voters, surer, calmer, Later on have, said their .say, And the Legislative drama Opens in the usual way; When the Parliamentary curtain Rises on the actor crew, It may be—we can't be certain— "Black out,'' Mr. Black, for you. An overseas aircraft organisation which strives with commendable zeal to keep benighted colonials abreast of important aviation developments got off an interesting one by the last mail from Home". Referring to Menziea* solo flight across the Tasman, the publicity merchant took pains to add that "much of the journey lies over th« open sea." So now we know. Wln.-ii voit regard Hie economic situation with dispassion it resolves itself into something like this, though tho family physician is having a lot of useful exercise dodging the bricks. AVhon the great body politic, Is feeling—well, a, trifle sick, Wo must not blame the doctor who His duty sees, and strives to do. Ho gives us nasty pills to swallow That complications may not follow. The General Knowledge Squad advances sheepishly in column of companies from the right, deploys to th« left, overruns the epithetical "sarge,"1 and presents its compliments. Did yott know that— (1) We didn't know until the other day that King Arthur's shield was called AVynebgwrthucher? (2) There is food for thought thesa troubled days in the German proverb: "The axe goes to the wood, where it borrowed its handle"? (3) AYe wonder what would happen to India if the toothless vegetarian, Gandhi, suddenly developed a craze for underdone steaks? (■A) It strikes us our noble Minister of Education is uncommonly subdued nowadays'? (5) The probable catch in breeding a. black canary will be that it will have forgotten how to sing? You can't play those tricks with Nature and escapo a, tart retort. (0) The divine Pola Negri goes on record as having said that "I am tired of Latins; my ideal of a perfect lover is the unromantic, quiet Englishman"? Poor Rudolph! Some poor Englishmau! (7) If ho means what ho says—and he mostly doesn't—we're glad the Hon. James Roberts is not a tenant of ours'f (S) Before purchasing a Bird of Paradise—they cost a mere £1000 —take care to provide for tho pet an electric-ally-warmod cage, installed with electric light, to give the effect of real sunshine? (9) That, the Commonwealth Prime Minister didn't catch a "crab" when. scuU-scull-Scullin' along over the stormtossed waters of a no-confidence debnto.? (10) If that last one's a trifle feeble, we'll undertake to do better before the third Sunday after Septuagesima? WELLINGTON'S SEVEN AVONDEBS That eclectic persiflager, "Hemi Pango," has thoughtfully presented us with ;i suggestion for a Postscripts parly, which has possibilities. You have heard of the Seven Wonders of the World? Good. But what of the seven wonders of Wellington? Let us have your opinion. Here's "Ilenn'w . little iist— Tho railway station. The law-factory and all that isaosWi is and are. Tho inexpugnable veracity of Jts business people, particularly land agents and motor-car salesmen. The place (other than inside the tummy of a cow with its mouth shut) that is sheltered from tho southerly wind. The trackless tram. The local summer. Percy Plage—his justice, equanimity, and optimism. * » * It you misdoubt it—well, we can't help that. Nevertheless, King Zog is Albania's ruling monarch. Wo know, because he was reported recently _as having arrived in Vienna suffering from nervous trouble, due to oversmoking. Personal details concerning his Majesty were acquired by privatfl negotiation. Boy, the screeching sackbut fog While we sing of good King Zog, While we chaunt. a noble stave To a monarch bold and brave. We are tired of mundane kings, Ms.P., and such prosy things; We are sick of old De Prcsli— Pest! a real thorn in the flesh; Fair Kaiwarra's roseate wiles, Pert Petone's odorous miles, Leave us colder than a frog Since we found his Highness Zog. He has not the gay apparel Of that lion viveur, King Carol, Nor is he. so temperamental With the ladies —Zop's more gentle; As he boasts no shuttered harem He can be. no harum-scarum. In Albania, where he governs, There are no electriu ovens. Midget golf links, loud casinos, Spat's, or ambulant Albinos, And they do not nice the dog In the realm of zig-zag Zog. What, then, is his lien on fame? rust his most exotic name. Ts^tgh it leaves us rather weak, It undC^btedly's unique. George, A^Uonso, Manuel, Otto— Bourgeois, thos\, and likewise blotta, While the cognoufoa. King Billy, Looks, and sounds, e^c-e^'ly- sills* Zog! A monnikcr like, that Knocks imagination Hat. Boy, no more the saekbut slog— We would raise a glass to Zog. , « « * We decline to tako any responsible ity for the sentiments expressed or implied in the anocdote that follows. The raconteur is "C.M.8." The head of a very large (local) firm of constructional engineers, noted for their high degree of efficiency, was being shown over an important Government job by a well-known politician. "Why is it," he asked, "that on all of your'jobs you have both a general overseer and an assistant overseer, whereas even on our bicgest jobs, we get atom' very well with one?" "AVell," replied our AV.K.P., "you see, two aro iibsnlulclv essential to Government ofueienev, as opposed, of course, to prirate: 'evperieiK-.- has taught, us that, on all Government jobs we need an assistant, overseer Jo keep the general overseer from going to sloe]'."