POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CX, Issue 78, 29 September 1930, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY HLAGE

11 The chairman, stated that he and Mr. Durward had pushed; that barrow. in and outside the conference, but they could not find a delegate interested in it."—No doubt delegates preferred a little walking exerciso -after' their strenuous deliberations.

Catapulted' by the usual street hog, our extremely old friend, Zaro Agha, has burst into the headlines again.— This report, we are given to understand, is more reliable than the ono which tolct, of the elderly polygamist's death in Constantinople a year or so ago.

News note: "Mr. E. A. Wright's li»t of undesirables on racecourses: weisherf, spielers, tick-tacks, magsmen, twicers, and guessers."—Obviously' here is another avid reader of those race-track romancers, Edgar Wallace and Nat Gould.

£■ # -» Prom our news columns, an investi* gating psychologist writing: "Tha weedy littlo man who is noisy, and arrogant in support of his favourite Rugby team is concealing a consciousness of his own physical inferiority."— Or revealing to the'world that he has a bottle, already tapped, in his hip pocket.

"Mr. J. J. Goodwin, president of the Taranaki Bugby Union, spoke of the regard'with which Porter is held in the Taranaki province, where his visits are always welcomed owing to the lectures he is invariably prepared to give."-f-Not to the referee, of course.

A lately returned tourist had something to say of professional beggers ho had met when abroad. A '36-year-old Liverpool member of that great profession disclosed some trade secrets in, a letter written to the Coroner before committing suicide. The least successful beggar (he wrote) is better off than the' most successful worker. "One big untidy brute has alyays a few days' beard, and a number of safety pins about his person to keep his^clothes on. This is all aimed to create sympathy. He is able-, to change a pound note any day. Another specimen is a one-armed,1 man who labels himself 'Both arms use-^ less.' He makes 50s on a bad Satur-"* day night, owns property, and spends his holidays in Paris." Another of the tribe runs most successfully a pie and coffee stall after his day's importuning* have ceased.

Relevant to a convivial evening at which Mr. C. G. Porter, a well-known Wellington citizen, was the guest ot

honour: —

"We have never yet starred for our country j In ..the. dreadful front rank of ; .tho serum, And we're sadly* afraid, As the game now is played, That day is not likely to come. Still, we've stood on the bank and we've watched 'em, Handing out tittle bouquets of biff; But while tough fellows flung Short-arm punches that stung, You could never say that about Cliff.

So far he lias bitten no rival, In the short ribs (or anywhero else)j Ho has strangled no Half With a devilish laugh, Or gone cave-man and knocked seven bells IOut of some refcrco who lias trapped him, And threatened a penalty ii! He should even retort.. . But he isn't the sort ■ -' To get mad and see crimson is CliiC* He is Buffalo Bill and Napoleon ~ . All rolled into ono when the score, "•'' With ten, minutes to go, Is a'few points too low, And the air' is one long anguished roar. There's a flurry ... a rush ~ . pandemonium ... A full-back is spread-eagled stiff . . # A broad flashing dome Leads the whining thrust home. . . Yes; you simply must hand it to Cliff, * . * . .«■

We are anxious to help .this deserving country of oms on to its feet, because of the exactions of the Tax Commissioner and for other reasons.' an idea for the Acting-Prime Minister. Why not a State monopoly of miniature golf courses and clubs? Already, ovei? £30,000,000 has been expended in the States on this pastime, which is becoming epidemic . . . already there ar«i 25,000 completed courses in operation. A recent lumber bulletin declares that. Tom Thumb golf links have become a real factor in the nation's industry. A.. well-known firm of soap-makers has taken out patents for manufacturing green-cblbured cottonseed hulls into suitable material for the fairways. As it is estimated that a course pays I'os itself in about two months, this means that another £30,000,000 is put into circulation. It is calculated that golf calls for the production of two million balls and almost as. many clubs every year. As the game is now brought within reach of folks like ourselves with a moderate income, the" demand for the usual equipment must expand enormously. As one means of making pec-wee golf „ distinctive in, these parts, why not a weka or two as hazards?

j Dey's free kinds a people in dis world, see? One kind 'ud like t' b« honest, only dey know it don't pay, so dey starts out to be crooks. An' de second kind wouldn't mind bein' crooks only dey know dat don',t pay, so dey 'starts out to be honest. An' dere's a t'oid kind dats just got cold feet, an' whichever wey dey starts out, day lose de old noive an' go do oppositq way. An' dem's de washouts.

Sydney Howard. *

' While Cplumbuses of tho^ «ir «r« planning to attain altitudes 'hitherto only dreamed of, William Beebe is perfecting apparatus which .will enable him to plumb depths of ocean as t*r down as half a mile. Beebts; who is ».* submarine explorer of great : reputa^? tion, has managed to prosecute ■ scie*-, tific observations 1400 feet below tho surface, thanks to his two-ton «teel Bpherc which successfully withstood -.» pressure of 20,0001b to the square inch. He suffered no physical discomfort at the depth that wouia ordinarily exert crushing pressure against an unprotect-, ed human body. The atmospheric pressure in the; naval diving ball wa« equal to that at the surface of the water. For air supply Beebo irelied upon an oxygen reserve;-at the depth it would have been impossible to endure the stale air. Communication with the outside world was obtained by * telephone line connecting a ship with the diver. In addition/ electricity lighting within the ball and to illuminate the submarine scene was provided by heavy cables. Beebe is having constructed for investigations afc even greater depths a spherical ball which will have to possess, onormou* powers of resistance, since the pressure to be withstood increased a ton to ths ■quare inch .with ever^ ijWQ tfatkfi-MH ' descended. ' ~■;.' •■■.'.:.■>