ABOUT THE HOUSE.

Evening Post, Volume LXX, Issue 79, 30 September 1905, Page 9

ABOUT THE HOUSE.

A BIRD'S EYE VIEW. , fßr a Casual Chromoleii.] It is the doldrum of politics. The chip of State is becalmed, and the sails flap lazily against/ the masts, aud the crew are all tired and weary, and most of the time dreaming of the battle next November. Members go about with a pre-occupied air, and talk to themselves in whispers. Listen closely to the absfcraeted member and you hear s him sayißg softly: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am glad to bs able to give- you an account of my work on your behalf in tho past three years, and I confidently trust — I confidently trust — " and then the effort overcomes him, and he goes 'away to sleep somewhere. For the first time this session, the House met on Monday, and forthwith began considering the Estimates. The Cook Islands and the State Coalmines — the, two chief failures of tho Government— rwere the subjects discussed, and for the whole evening these " dreary subjects ivere dragged up and down, and the House thinned, and of the "brutal majority ' who had firmly voted last week for Monday sittings, only a handful were present. The bulk of them were absent from town, or else snoring in the interests of their constituents outside the Chamber. Mr. Moss brought up his everlasting grievance against the Resident Commissioner of the Cook Islands, and badgered ?nd baited tho Hon. C. H. Mills. Mr. Mills in charge of a class .of tho Estimates is a lesson in. bootless endeavour. Copying the mannerisms and the stern gaze of his uproarious and reverberating chief, he adds a lack of resource, a. mildness of voice, and a' foggy flabbiness all his own. The discussion had nothing new in it, and a moderately useless evening ended at 1.20 a.m. For a goodly part of Tuesday afternoon the Legislative Council discussed an Auckland Bill with much earnestness and loss of breath. The House was onca more in the throes of the Meikle case, and members rose and demanded justide. The desire for justice was also evidenced in the galleries. One man, roused beyond endurance, rose up in the gallery and shouted : "Give the man justice !" lie had come to the wrong shop. As soon as the- orderly recovered from his swoon, he hurled forth »he interrupter. A little later another man in . the gallery made the same demand, and once more tho orderly led him forth into the cold world. Beyond a vague promise by the Premier thar something would be done — » promise which Mr. Hawkins looked upon as an unreliable evasion — nothing definite happened. In the evening the proceedings became futile. The House was continuing the debate on the Workenf Dwellings Bill, and a flood of talk ensued which noi body listened to. The Bill was read a. second time at half-past one in the morning. Wednesday's proceedings in the Legislative Council were not very lengthy, bufc they were marked by an event which will stand out as prominently in the minds of Councillors as the date of the Battle of Waterloo. The Eastbourne Borough Bill, which Mr. Macdonald has been piloting through the stormy seas of vigorous opposition, was once more under wei^h. The measure had been _viQ'.ensly opposed in its ' earlier stages, and tha prophets had declared that its death had been merely postponed. Tho prophets •were wrong, however, and another sud-den-death motion by Mr. Rigg was rejected with scorn. Then Mr. Jenkinson objected to the name "Eastbourne," and moved for the retention of the Maori name of "Muritai." "What did Muritai mean?" members asked. Mr. Phillips, the interpreter, who sits beside Mr. Mahuta,' and who""is supposed to sit silent except on the- rare occasions when he is required to translate when "the King" is moved to. speech, astounded everybody by rising in his place and beginning to talk about the meaning of Muritai. The Council gasped as if it had been shot in the back with a keg of nails. Some of the Councillors giggled, but the lilemembers went off into a trance as if they had witnessed an assault on the Throne and Person. Serenely unconscious'of tjie horrible crime he was.com» mitting, Me. Phillips sat down quite happy. The discussion continued, and a little later Mr. Phillips rose a second time. The life-members had recovered from- their swoon, and before they could can. for brandy or sal volatile they swooned again, and everybody looked terrified, and prepared to jump under the desks to avoid the Day of Judgment, •which they evidently expected to arrive forthwjth. Mr. Phillips, still ( sublimely ignorant of the fact that he was committing ar> outrage worse than anything since King Henry's soldiers murdered Becket at the altar, delivered his speech and sat down in a silence that could bo heard nt Three Kings. Slowly the lifemembers camo back to life, overjoyed to find ' the earih still revolving, and apparently under the impression that the ■whole proceeding was an hallucination. But, to their horror and dismay, Mr. Phillips rose a third time, and was sailing in with further remarks about Muritai, when Mr. M*Lean, in a trembling •voic£, arose and asked who was addressing the Council. The Chairman of Committees awoke, and at once ruled Mr. Phillips out of order. He sat down still unaware of his crime, and unconscious of the fact that he had done a. deed more desperate and unparalleled than anything sinco the days of Jonah. The Council, with, shattered nerves, had no' more energy left in them to oppose t3ie Bill, and adjourned shortly afterwards. Meanwhile the woes of our brown brother, and the necessity of settling the problem of his lands, were occupying the House. Huge, voluble, and globular, Mr. Kaihau poured forth torrents of eloquence, and the other Maori members followed suit. The tail-end of Mr. Wi Pere's remarks, which consisted of some observations concerning Mr. Hcries, were untranslatable. In the course of the debato the Leader of the Opposition had said ho could get balf-a/-dozen members of the House to draft a better Bill than that introduced by the Premier. The Premier said the House would be safer in the hands of a committee of Maori wahines. "In tho arms," •wickedly suggested Sir William Russell, and the House looked up at the Ladies' Gallery, whence a bevy of Maori ladies in T?anama hats looked down with choco-ldto-coloured disapproval. In the evening an Imprest Supply Bill was brought down, and Mr. Massoy at once moved what was practically a noconfidenco motion. Most remarkably, there was no debate, and the motion was defeated. Estimates were then considered with tho customary dullness, and «o uninteresting discussion ensued on tho Imprest Supply Bill. These Bills, which osed to give the New Liberals opportunities for causing insurrections, are now quite homely and domestic affairs. By 1 a.m. it was through all its stages.

Twelve minutes sufficed the Council fco do air it had to do on Thursday,

including tho passage of the Impiest Supply Bill. Tho House renewed its unequal struggle with the Electoral liiJ, and the afternoon was spent in a wrangle about its re-committal. Everybody had his own particular idea as to what had been overlooked in the first mangling, and, eventually tho measure was aent back to the Committee just bsfore balfpasb five. Just before the adjournment the Premier, yvho was goiffg South, wandered round in search of a "pair, ' and chattered volubly with tho Opposition Whip. Annoyed at tho interruptions, which had been very frequent all the afternoon, Mr. Speaker arose and "named" the Premier and Mr. Lewis. The Premier ceased, and tried 1 to blush as ha retreated to the Opposition's quartei'3, and Mr. Speaker rebuked him with befitting gravity. He got his pair, and disappeared. In tho evening the trouble btfaun with a proposed new clause of Sir Joseph Ward's to provide that a voter becoming disfranchised through absence from the colony could not be re-enrolled until ;\ month after his return.'^ The proposal met with a storm of objection, and the few spectators in tho . gallery were amazed to learn that theie is a steady exodus of New Zealanders to studyr the civilisation .of the outside world, and that these patriots are not so well oil as tho man who is serving a three months' sentence. Mr. Tom Mackenzie was. particularly eloquent, and delivered several speeches. '.Now and then .the bell would cut him short, and he would bit down," and rise again at onco to say s>ome more. The discussion went on for many hours, and was chiefly remarkable for the strange spectacle of the Hon. ( T. Y. Duncan stretched on his_ back, and sleeping out loud-in a particularly unlovely fashion. Mr. M'Lauhluu wus also oblivious to the^sunoundings, nnd the House ,was thin and weary. The Bill finally .passed a little bafore halfpast one, and a. sigh of relief blew I through the House like the dawn wind. A large long Bill full of remarks about "incorporeal hereditaments," andstretohing Mesapotomy— or, at any rate, to 117 clauses — winding up' with five schedules and embodying the law governing property, was laßoriously rolled through the Legislative Council yesterday, and 1 after a 'little light , refreshment , in the j shape of -the first reading, of the Elec- I toral Bill, the Council very wisely adjourned. ' The valuation of land is to, the House as & red rag to a bull, and the whole afternoon was occupied in a brisk engagemeht on the subject. The last halfhour was a lively skirmish arising out of a motion by Mr. Kidd, the Government Whip, to apply the gag. Sir Joseph Ward', in charge, of the House in the absence of the. Premier, intimated that he objected £0 the gag, and always did," and let in p flood of light on his lacerated feelings on past occasions when his chief 1 has used that instrument of torture. ' He asked the Whip to withdraw his motion, but the Whip, serene in the knowledge that tho Boss is afar, refused. Mr. Herries taunted tho Government with putting the Whip up to it, nnd Sir Joseph disclaimed any such motjive. ' Slowly and ponderously an idea stirred in the mind of the Mini3ter of Lands, [and he arose heavily and gave his endorsement. "Are you a member of the Government?" asked Mr. Massey mildly, and the House laughed rudely. It was Estimates again in the evening, and for several hours the House spent a day in the country. The proceedings wore moleskins and had hair and wool -adhering to them, and I ' the atmosphere became the atmosphere of the fnnnyard. One heard the lowing of the kine, and the churning of butter, and the plaintive bleat of sheep, and the whole rural symphony. There was a smell of silo and poisoned rabbit in the air. Rabbits, ferrets, sick calves, bees, potato blight, anthrax, a special breed of ladybird that pursues the codlin moth', thin hens (this was Mr. Duthie's grievance), horses, flruit — these were a few 'of tho solemn subjects under discussion. The Minister of Lands, in indecorous and ancient slippers, was at the helm, and he lumbered heavily through the proceedings, imd his soporific Doric drawl sounded like Bill telling Tom about pigs. The city members were quite lc*t, and quickly disappeared. Mr. Ell, however, remained,, but he neither broadened members' views nor cheered the gloom. He was a whiff of factory smoke in the meadow. The procession of diseased pigs and disordered potatoes ceased at midnight, and the Minister for Anthrax made way for the Minister for Justice. Police -were discussed gently for an hour, and the anticipated trouble did not ocenr. Other little things were swept up and shortly before half-past two the Estimates were through, and several hundreds of thousands of pounds sent forth on their mission for good or ill.