THE "UP-TO-DATE" BOOK.

Evening Post, Volume L, Issue 48, 24 August 1895, Page 2 (Supplement)

THE "UP-TO-DATE" BOOK.

Some short time ago an author, having just completed a book, brought it into the office of his publisher, and stated he thought it was the best thing be had ever written. "We'll be delighted to have it," said the publisher. "Is it up to date?" "Up to date?" said the author ; "I should rather think it was up to date. It contains two problems and a wife who confesses all on the day of her marriage." The publisher's eyes glistened, but as he turned over the pages of the typo-script his face lengthened. " Great heavens !" he said. "It is written in English: there's not a Scotch phrase in it ! And you said it was up to date." " What do you mean?" asked the author. "What do I mean?" cried the publisher. " My dear sir, you are really serious in expecting me to publish a novel that's not written in a Scotch dialect ? Take it away — take it away." Well, the author took it away, and was somewhat disheartened, until he suddenly recollected that he had an aunt who had lived in Scotland, and had mastered the language so that that she could go through Edinburgh without the aid of an interpreter, and could almost understand a Glasgow man when he spoke slowly. He hurried to her side, and, with her assistance, turned all the "froms" into " fraes," all the " longs " into "langs," all the "aways" into " awas," the " friends " into "freens," and the "flies" into "fleeß." With the aid of a few "hoot, mons," bonnies," and a judicious flavour of the brose-pot, the book was transformed, and the publisher accepted it with enthusiasm. — Mr. Frankfort Moore, in the Queen.