A DOCTOR'S SWEETS.

Evening Post, Volume XXX, Issue 10, 11 July 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

A DOCTOR'S SWEETS.

The following are some of the sweets of a physician's life :—lf: — If he visits a few of his patients when they are well, it is to get his dinner ; and if he does not do so, it is because he cares more for the fleece than the flock. If he goes to church regularly it is because he has nothing else to do ; if he doesn't go, it is because he has no respect for the Sabbath nor religion. If he dresses neatjy, he is proud ; if he does not, he is wanting in self-respect Ti his wife does not visit you, she is " stuck-up ; " if she does, she is fishing for patients for her husband. If he has a good turnout, he is extravagant; if he uses a poor one on the score of economy, he is deficient in necessary pride. If he does not write a prescription for every trifling ailment, he is careless ; if he does, he " deluges one with medicine." If he gives parties, it is to soft-soap the people to get their money ; if he does not give them, he is afraid of spending a halfpenny. If his horse is fat, it is because it has nothing to do ; if it is lean, it is because it isn't taken «are of. If he drives slowly, he has no interest in the welfare of his patients. If the patient recovers, it is owing to the good nursing he received; if he dies, the "doctor did not understand hia sickness." If he talks much, " we don't like a doctor to tell everything 'he knows," or "he is altogether too familiar" ; if lie doesn't talk, " we like to see a doctor sociable." If he says anything about politics, " he had better let it alone" ; and if he doesn't say anything about them, "we like to Bee a man show his colours." If he does not come immediately -when sent for, he takes things too easy; if he sends in his bill he is in a terrible hurry for his money. If he visits his patients every day- it is to run up a bill ; if he don't it is unjustifiable negligence. If he orders the same medicine, it does no good ; if he changes the prescription, he is in league with the druggist. If he uses any of the popular remedies, it is to cater to the whims and prejudice of the people to fill his pockets j if he doesn't use. them, it is from professional selfishness. If he is In the habit of haying frequent consultations, it is because he knows nothing ; if he objects to having them on the ground that he understands his own business, " he is afraid of exposing his ignorance to his superiors." If he gets pay for one-half his services, he deserves to be canonized. Who wouldn't -be an M.D.? , MISCELLANEOUS. Several months ago the Eusaian Government interfered ,to suppress the mission work carried on in the Empire by the Beligious Tract Society of London. It is now stated, however, that ' all the tracts confiscated have been returned by the Government, and permission has been given to resume work of gratuitous distribution of the religous reading. A jury empannelled to assess the damages in the action for libel brought by Mrs. Weldon against M. Gounod, the eminent musical conductor, who Jhad withdrawn his defence, awarded Mrs. Weldon, who gave evidence in her own case, £10,000. "Burnt beer" is one of the new drinks of the day. It is prepared in the same way as mulled ale or cider. It is, however, rather an intoxicating beverage. London issues periodicals 'with an annual circulation of 1,017,000,000. Paris, with a far smaller population, issued periodicals with an average circulation of 1,100,000,000. ' New .York and Brooklyn, with a population two-thirds that of Paris, produce publications with an annual circulation of 516,300,000. In Germany shaft-sinking through quicksands is carried on by means of freezing. One shaft has beea put ,down through 70 feet of hitherto.impenetrable quickstand.