Page 3 Advertisements Column 4

Dunstan Times, Issue 2677, 4 August 1913, Page 3

A. COINCIDENCE. Ttwr, hour was late. A man stood at $ tall desk, looking over an enormous booh. A rough-looking fellow stepped into tha room, and drawing a pistol said, “Keep quiet." “ I am quiet,” the man answered, without showing the faintest sign of emotion, “ All right; remain that way, lam a rubber, 11 “ So - am 1,” the man answered. “ What, you a robber !” " Yes ; I have been appointed receiver fui this company " “ Oh, is that a fact ? In that case I must leave you. I never beat a man out of his job " CONSIDERATE TO THE LAST". ' Sandy Wilson, when at the point ol death, sent for a neighbour with whom he had long been in fend, his conscience sharply reminding him that he ought to leave this world at peace with ail who were in it. in order to have any good chance or likelihood pf faring well in the next. The reconciliation was effected, allowances having been made on both sides, bur particularly on the dying man’s ; and the visitor was about tu lake farewell leave, whas. Sandy said, in a faint yet resolute voice; *■ Noo, jemmy, ma man, if aw dinna de after a’—an’ while there’s life, ye ken, there's still hopethings ’ll just ha’ to be at ween us as they were afore. Ye’ll understand that.” A FEMALE ODDITY. At a village a few miles from London lives a young lady who is the talk of the whole neighbourhood, on account of her uncommon sympathies and antipathies. She has a mortal aversion to all colours except green, yellow, and white, in either of which she is always dressed. She has beer, known to swoon away at the sight of a soldier ; and a funeral never fails to throw her into a cold sweat. She will not eat or drink out of any other than green ware or pewter. She cangreen damoscens; but even the gladly exchange for onions, of which she is particularly fond when roasted. She prefers a draught of the Thames water, when muddy, to the clearest spring that ever bubbled from a fountain. A fricassee of frogs or mice is her delight, although a sight of a irtushroom will make her change colour She loves beef or mutton that is ily-blo.vn ; and she cannot taste a bit of veal that is either white, firm, or fresh killed. She is fond of hays, woodbine, box, and dandelion, and the finest salads ; turnips and faddish tups she prefers to the most delicate brocoli, savoys, or cabbage plants. When a child she used to be very fond of paling small coals, and, at night, if her mother left her in the room by herself, she was sure to despatch all the contents of the candle snuffers ; but her taste in this particular is of late refined. Although now not twenty years of age, she is very negligent of her person ; cannot bear to walk abroad on a fine day, but loves to saunter in the evening by the side of the ris er, if a th>ck nauseous fog be arising. She prefers the sound oi f Jew's harp or hurdy-gurdy to the best nolin or German flute in the universe. Her parents, who are people of taste and fortune, have often attempted her reformation, but in vain. She loves to ride in the bread waggon for half a mile or so ; and if it should chance to rain, she will not return home until she is wet to the skin. With ail these oddities, she is very handsome, has great natural parts, and a good education. When her parents die, she will have an estate of three thousand a year, besides a considerable sum of money in the funds. About two years ago a nobleman, wfi’V known in the circle of gallantry, paid his addresses to her, although he had heard of her oddities ; and their nuptials would have been speedily celebrated had she not suddenly conceived an utier aversion to him, on account of his refusing to eat some hot cockles and periwinkles, which she had taken particular care in dressing herself. At present there is a young gentleman of law who. it is imagined, will soon be in possession of this delicious morsel of whim, as he has already gained her affections by walking with her in a favourite marsh during the rain, and instructing her in the besl method to dress devils and make salma gundy.—From an old number of the W**' ' * I i V ■ L UiUi. not bear the taste of any ripe fi

VERCOE BROS. FORWARDING AGENTS, COAL & GENERAL MERCHANTS, CLYDE. / , n Goods consigned to our care will be carefully handled and promptly despatched. Instructions by wire promptly attended to. The only permanent relief trym piles is relief from constipation so as to relieve the blood pressure and irritation in the intestines, then the piles will gradually disappear. Uliumborluin’s Tablets will certainly euro your constipation. Sold by Horn & Purcell, Clyde. FRUIT-GROWERS! Increase the Quantity and Improve the Quality of your Fruit by setting up a few' hives of Bees ! Now is Lite lime to Act. so that the Bees will he at work in next Season’s Blossoms. No fruit-grower should do without bees. It’s important. Your crop depends upon proper pollenisation, and Bees are the very best agency. While there are certain insects that do the pollen-scattering, the work they perform is infinitisimai as compared with that of the Bees, because, unlike the bees that live over winte-i, they are not. present in early spring when the Iruit trees are in bloom. Slone limits are particularly benclitted by having a few hives of bees in a comer of the orchard. Aside from this, the Bees can he made a source ol Profit by the use and sale of the Honey they procure. Write us for Particulars - NOW. Alliance Box Co, Ltd* Headquarters for Bee-keepers* Supplies. CASTLE STREET, DUNE D 1 N. Po Chronic Chest Complaints, Woods Great Peppermint Cure, 1/6,2/6,