Page 3 Advertisements Column 5

Dunstan Times, Issue 2677, 4 August 1913, Page 3

MARS' LATEST INVENTIONS. Extraordinary activity (says a Homfl paper) is now observable at Woolwich. I| is reported that it has been decided to immei diately add to the storage capacity of the works, and with this object the foundations of a large building are already being prepared just alongside the leading wharves oj the Thames. This building will accommot date much of the surplus stock, and by it the loading ot troopships will be greatly facilitated. One of the most important munitions of war which will be henceforth manufactured at Woolwich is known as a "star ball.” This surpasses the almostobsolete parachute firelight, which used to be discharged and light up the enemy’s camp, but which the wind unfortunately often drove over the home camp. To sur, pass this the “ star ball" has been invented; This will bo discharged from a howitzer. The action of the fuse causes a perfect shower of sparks to fall miles from the spot whence it is discharged, which light up the whole of the countryside. Several other intensely interesting additions to our war munitions are being manufactured at Woolwich. A LESSON IN LAW. A young lawyer who has been practising for three or four years received one Christ mas present which he did not appreciate. It was a nice enough present, but—well, the whole story had better be told. One Christmas morning a messenger boy brought to the young attorney’s house a package done up in brown paper and tied with very offensive-looking string. He carried the package into the dining-room, where his wife sat at breakfast. The wrapper was removed, and on the top a card —a plain visiting card-lay. The young lawyer saw it, and heaven preserve us! blushed. The card bore the name of a client of his whose case he hadfconducted laboriously and expensively to defeat. “ What does he mean by sending me a present ?" he asked. " The last time he was in my office I felt inclined to pitch him out of the window ”

“ Perhaps he wants to make up at Christmas time, dear,” his gentler halt suggested, as she proceeded to rip up the white paper with a silver hairpin. In a few seconds, a couple of volumes, covered in law-sheep, were revealed, The attorney took one ol the books up, and read the title, " Blackstone’s Commentaries, vol. I.” The other book was vol. 11. “ What in thunder does he mean by sending me this ?” he asked fiercely. “ I am sure I don’t know, dear," said she, meekly. There was an uncomfortable silence for several minutes. Then the attorney said, with considerably more emphasis than can be reproduced in words" Now I know what the fool meant by saying when he left me that he would teach me "the rudiments of law, if he had to spend good money to do it. But I thought he was going to sue me." MALE PROTECTORS QUITE SUPERFLUOUS. I “The fact that American f iris go anywhere and almost everywhere without escorts has long been a matter of wonderment to me," said a member of the French nobility the other day during a visit to New York. “ I was coming down in an elevated train recently, when riie reason was made evident to me. As we neared a station almost every passenger made a rush for the door, and stood lor some minutes, each anxious to get ahead of the other in leaving the train. “ One of the crowd was a very pretty young woman, carrying a long-handled umbrella in one hand and a big bundle in the other. Just behind her was a short, very fat man, who was rudely crowding the pretty girl. As I had not left my seat I saw the performance that followed. " Once the girl looked over her shoulder, and the fat man stopped crowding for a moment, but began again, and trod on the skirt of the pretty girl. Her eyes grew dark with anger. The long-handled umbrella assumed a horizontal position, and shot backward, point first, catching the fat man just about at the bottom of his waistcoat. He gave a gasp of terror, and caught his breath just as the pretty girl looked oVei her shoulder, smiled sweetly, and said: — " Oh, pardon me ; but you are on my skirt. “ Then she smiled even more sweetly, and the fat man dropped into a seat and groped about as though the air in the car was suffocating him. The girl marched complacently out of the car head up, and the dainty leathers in her hat nodded defiance at all masculine humanity/' HOW TO MANAGE HUSBANDS. ' "How to manage husbands?” said Mrs. Frances Hbdgson Burnett, the authoress of ‘ Little Lord Fauntleroy." “ You mean how to manage them to make them happy } In my judgment, no man or woman, married or single, can be made happy by others. Others may afford us opportunities of being happy, but no one can compel us to be happy whether we will or not. Our happiness or unhappiness must ever depend largely upon ourselves, let our surroundings and our companions be what they may. You remember Mark Tapley in Dickens’s navel of ‘ Martin Chuzzlewit ?’ You know his great object in life was to be ‘jolly, 1 as ho called it, under adverse circumstances, and he sought diligently to place himself in ihe most depressing situation possible in order to prove that a man may be contented and happy in any condition if he only will, "In married life, as in everything else in this world, there is everything in beginning right, and the very beginning is when the young man and the young woman who are to compose the future married couple re-, reive their first training in early childhood. In most of the cases where marriage has uroved a failure, a close investigation will show that the husband or wife—perhaps both —have never received a proper business nr domestic training, and each has relied, bis /the other to make him or her happy. This notion, in itself, is fatal to happiness. The man or woman who sits down and waits to be made happy by their conjugal partner, and becomes angry with the said partner because he or she does not manufacture the required amount of happiness, will in a short time declare marriage a failure, and perhaps seek relief in one of those divorces which may now be so easily obtained without publicity. " A girl whose natural domestic tastes have been carefully developed, and who has otherwise been properly trained, will have very little trouble in making a home what it should' be, and one of the greatest of all points in managing a husband is to make home the most attractive of all places to him. “ A good story is told of two brothers-in-law, one rich, the other poor, meeting after a long sepai ation. ‘‘‘How do you spend your evenings?' asked the poor man. U A “ 1 Oh, at the club,’ was the response. ...v “ 1 At the club !’ exclaimed the poor man in a tone of deep commiseration ‘That’s not like home, is it?' ‘“No, indeed, icis not, thank heaven! I£ k, were I should never go.’ There are countless men like hirn who seek the dub as a relief from home because Iheir wives do not know how to nuaagg