Father’s Part

Dominion, Volume 30, Issue 265, 5 August 1937, Page 5

Father’s Part

He Must Not Shirk Duty of Training His Children

TT is a generally accepted fact that 1 the correction and punishment, of a growing family fall on the shoulders of the mother. Father, appearing on the scenes only for half an hours Play in the evenings, or as a “Sunday treat, seldom takes on the role of stern parent, and so scores a distinct advantage over mother, who is less of a novelty and excitement in nursery eyes. Hurrying off to business every morning, the father of the family sees his children only for a short time each day —probably in the evening, when he is feeling indulgent and ready to spoil them. Not unnaturally, the children regard him as a wonderful creature, someone who plays with them, never says “No” to anything, and is all for prolonging the game beyond their bedtime.

When told to do or not to do anything, mother is confronted with such protests as “Daddy said T could ; and, if she insists on obedience, not only Is she putting daddy in the wrong, but making her own case more difficult. Gradually it is impressed upon the children that mother is always putting restrictions upon them, and father taking them off, until they begin to feel a rather natural resentment. The fact is that father, who comes seldom or never into contact with his children’s faults, is inclined to think that they are being brought up too strictly, and does not like to hear them being scolded. This leads to arguments, which often take place in front, of the children, the worst possible thing that could happen. Father is backed up by them because he never scolds or orders. A corresponding disrespect for mother is the result. Close Co-operation.

THE position must be faced squarely, and, if trouble and discord are to be avoided later, the closest co-opera-tion in the correction of their children’s faults is necessary between parents, so that, they may receive an equal respect and affection. But on no account must father say: “Your mother tells me that you have been behaving badly,” for this will only show mother in the light of a telltale as well as a scolder. A fair allotment of correction should be meted out, and this is quite easily done. For instance, mother should inform father in private of any delinquency, so that he can watch for its recurrence, and then administer correction on his own initiative. This does not mean, however, that he must be inconsistent, in his methods, indulgently passing over a fault on one occasion and sharply reproving the same fault on another. This merely bewilders the child, who is very quick to see tbe injustice, and to take advantage of it. “You didn’t: make me stop it last time,” lie will say indignantly, and would like to add: “So I shunt now. For that is the thought that passes through his mind. Another thing of which the father 01. a growing family should never be neglectful is any sign of rudeness to their mother. Both boys and girls, especially in their early 'teens, are Hable to lapse into a rather dictatorial or disrespectful way of speaking to her. It is a phase that, with proper admonition from the father, will pass, but, if allowed to go unchecked, may become a permanent and ugly blemish in the character of a sou or daughter. “Arc you speaking to your mother?” demanded in a sharp tone of astonished rebuke, acts like magic on the average child, and nips in the bud any tendency to this kind of bad manners.