CONVERSATION’S ART

Dominion, Volume 28, Issue 58, 1 December 1934, Page 6

CONVERSATION’S ART

Barber’s Task of Amusing

His Clients SPORT THE CHIEF TOPIC “Talking of the weather, what’s it going to be for the week-end?” asked the barber, as he adjusted the long white sheet on a “Dominion” reporter. “Pity if it rains.” An affirmative nod, and for a time no word was spoken as the electric hair clippers whirred merrily, and little clusters of hair fell softly on the sheet. Then: “I suppose half the art in your job is being able to keep your clients amused,” suggested the reporter. “Well, yes,” replied the barber. “And, believe me, it’s not too easy. Some are all right, of course, but others don’t seem to take an interest in anything. We soon find out whether a man wishes to make conversation, and if he doesn’t we just carry right on with the work We don’t mind, but all the same it’s nicer to have a client who will talk to you, and it makes the time pass more quickly, too. Now and then we get a man who saves us any trouble, and all we have to do is to sit back and listen. “Of course, barbers and their conversation are more or less a standing joke, just like plumbers and their forgotten tools. But what can you do? It is scarcely possible for the man in the chair to read anything in comfort, and the only other thing to do is to talk. Sport a Popular Subject.

“The most popular subject? Horse racing, every time. There is always a meeting being held somewhere in the country, and there is a tremendous amount of interest in racing. We get all sorts of tips and ‘certainties’ handed to us, but we’ve got to be careful. In my early days in the job I lost many pounds by taking too much notice of, what I was told. These ‘certainties’ have an unhappy knaek of not living up to their name. I got wise to it after a while and I watch my step now.” Flicking a switch, the hairdresser hooked the electric clippers on a stand and took up his scissors and comb. “Do you want much off the top?” General directions were given, and the scissors began to snip busily.

“Yes, sport is the leading subject every day," went on the barber. “I mentioned that horse racing was the most popular, but I think I had better qualify that. Rugby eomes pretty high in the winter. Rugby fans come in here and live Saturday’s match all over again. The authentic ‘inside’ of why So-and-So was not picked for the rep. team, why the other man got his place, why the home team was stiff' in not being awarded that last try at Athletic Park, why the referee gave so many free kicks to the winners, what Poneke is going to do to Hutt, . and what Hutt is going to do to Poneke—wet get it all. You’d be surprised at what we do hear about footbalL ‘Little Eric of Berhampore’ has nothing on some of the fans who come here and fight the battles over again. Talk about one-eyed! “Cricket is not so popular as football, but even so there is a great deal of interest taken in it. We hear more about it as the season advances. The recent Tests and the bodyline came In for their quota of argument, of course." The snip-snip of the busy scissors ceased, and the barber held up a handmirror for the client to survey his work.

“That all right? What would you like on your hair?” More instructions were given, and there followed the deft final touches with comb and brush.

“How do you get on when you have someone who wants to discuss highly intellectual topics?” asked the reporter. “Step very warily,” replied the barber, as he carefully adjusted an unruly tuft of hair. “I don't mind admitting that that line of talk puts me right out of my depth. Fortunately, there are not many like that, or I would be a mental wreck. It requires a terrific amount of concentration and care to avoid revealing that you know nothing at all about the subject. Politics a Bane. “You see that, old gentleman over there, reading the paper,” he whispered, bending closer. “In a small way he’s one of the sort you mentioned. He no sooner gets into this chair than he starts on foreign politics, and I don’t know much about them. The trouble is that he’s not content to rest with what you see in the newspapers from day to day, but he delves into the past for about 20 years to illustrate bis points. I have to make wild shots in the dark with ‘yes’ and ‘no,’ and after he has gone I wonder how many fatuous remarks I have made. Still, it’s all in the game.” A quick flick of the white sheet sent the superfluous hair flying, and then came the application of the clothes brush to remove the stray remnants.

“Next, please,” and another client took his place in the chair. “Is it going to rain for the weekend,” asked the barber, as he adjusted the long white sheet. . . ,