RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 25, Issue 230, 24 June 1932, Page 10

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current Events LOCAL AND GENERAL

(By

Kickshaws.)

The only dog that doesn’t seem to be provided with a chance of winning a prize at the Winter Show is a hot-dog. • * . * If we understand the Harbour Board correctly, there is no golden fleece in the sixpenny charge levied on wool bales. « * • News comes from America that Arkansas is to make a feature of easy divorce. Every effort will be made to assist couples to jump out of the matrimonial frying pan into Hot Springs. » ♦ » Surprise has been expressed at the unusual preponderance of women at the community sings in Wellington. When one starts to investigate the matter it becomes apparent that it would be unusual if there were not a preponderance of women. In flocking to community sings women are but continuing a tendency that is noticeable in other directions. Nobody yet has properly explained why women almost exclusively flock round the church door when a fashionable wedding is taking place inside. This voluntary bodyguard is certainly a prerogative peculiar to women.

When one goes through the list cf public functions it becomes apparent that women are in the majority, not only in church, but at bazaars, christenings, and bargain sales. Moreover, they usually seem to be present in overwhelming numbers to welcome some hero home from deeds of valour. Man, if he wishes to claim a 'preponderance, is relegated to such things as funerals, street accidents and football matches. Where, then, do all the men get to go on other occasions?

Are we to acclaim the French racing motorist who has travelled from Paris to Lyons and back every day for 105 days because he has travelled over 62,000 miles in a very short time or because he has only found, time to sleep three hours every night His endurance record seems to fall short of the type of endurance that conquers the Poles, but it is possibly somewhat higher than the_ endurance shown by a gentleman named Will Kennedy, who danced from London to Norwich 300 years ago every step of the way. Obviously we are all eager to give merit where merit is due, but people do such curious things it is really very difficult to enthuse over their feats in a proper manner. Certainly, if one had to make comparisons between this racing motorist’s efforts to 'tvear out his car and the undergraduates who wore out their stomachs and became dangerously ill for six months by eating 23 steaks without any sleep at all, the prize would go to the motorist

But, then, has the motorist, mentioned in the paragraph above, done anything of which to be more proud than the individual who, without any thought of records, has climbed Mount Egmont 50 times, or the individual who has climbed Ruapehu 100 times? If is a difficult problem. If we| decide to give first place to the man who has shown the greatest endurance, surely the prize could be justly claimed by Mr. Samuel Jessup, who took 226,934 pills and 40,000 bottles of medicine in 25 years. It may be argued that this fellow was no better than the steakeaters already mentioned. But it must be realised that, like the motorist who showed-the virtues of his baby car by driving from Paris to Lyons without rest for 105 days, this pill-eater at least proved the harmless nature of the pills and medicines that he consumed. Unfortunately, the pill-eater came to a bad end. For he failed to pay his apothecary’s bills and ended up in prison—the bitterest pill of aIL

Let us hope that the Auckland Rugby Union officials take seriously the gift from, the Cook Islands of the magic axe of Aitutaki that gives victory to its possessors. Like the sacred stone that L’mslopogas shattered with his mighty axe, thereby bringing disaster to a nation, both Action and history show that there is often more truth in these things than a cynical wor'd permits itself to' believe. There is a family in the Lothians, Scotland, which relies implicitily on an old shrivelledup fig as a guide to its fortunes. Given by a witch to the head of this family many centuries ago, the legend goes that so' long as the fig remains intact so long will the fortunes- of the family remain intact. A generation ago a child of the family actualy bit a chunk out of this fig. It may have been but coincidence, but shortly after the family lost a portion of their estates roughly proportional to the size of the bite.

Scientists may say what they like, but the world attaches a huge importance to outward emblems. Whether it be the axe of Aitutaki given to a football team to bring them success or the Great Seal of England, we should all be profoundly impressed if anything untoward occurred to either. It is possible to explain these away as relics of an old-time “mumby-jumby.” Nevertheless. there are still in existence relies that are not content to take nierelv a passive part in affairs. ♦ ♦ ♦

' There is in existence a very active mummified eagle handed down through the centuries with great care. Before a war this eagle, or excellent authority, drips blood as a portent of what is to come. Indeed, this eagle, so far as can be discovered, was one of the few prophets that prophesied the last war. In the same way. how are we io explain away the mirae’e of the blood of St. Gennaro, the patron saint of Nanles? If the year is to be successful the congealed blood of this saint, kept in two glass phials, liquefies twice a year. In bad years it does not liquefy at all. . . In your column recently you gave a few examples of “spare parts” in the English language, writes G. Bruce. I enclose a cutting • obtained from “Civis’s” column in the “Otago Daily Times” of some eight to ten years ago. No doubt, if you can find room to include it in your column, some of your matiy readers may be able to. spend a few winter evenings translating the “verse’’ back into words of day use. Here is an extract from this , piece of verse, which is too long to be included complete. This recrimination and expostulation And. execration and commination Are surely becoming an driveterr.tion. For all its foundation is mere nugat'.on.

We want some abat'on of vilification. Some co-operation in education. Why can't some legation by invitation Contrive the creation of conciliation. Or the origination of pacification? At present the subject is just damnation.