THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1222, 2 September 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW*

(Bi H.C.K.)

"It's a crcdit to tho country," said the 'Ward'st, as ho helped; 'himself to another morsel of the first spring lamb. "Ha!" said tho intelligent foreigner. "So it is that! The credit of the country: often I'hear of him, and I would well to know'this which it is-.And it is lamb? That .Timallen! By blue! Imagine you—to wish to ruin tho lamb so perfect!" "Lamb? Jimallen? Oh, I see, old chap. No. Allen does try to ruin tho credit, of the country, certainly, but it's about loans." "Loans? I not understand. To borrow? A question, tlioj, of finance? Not so? Yes! This Allen, then, ho 'Jesiro that tho country borrow irom more into ..more? .How.it is miserable, my old —tlicso Allen, theso Massey. To plunge tho country in debt! How they aro doggish! ■ But, Sir Bart., he is firm, ho resist, lie say. ' 'To borrow fiyo million quids of tho realm! And ruin tho-"credit of' the native- land! Never, no!' Livo Joe! Live Sir Bart." "You've got it wrong side up. Achille. Wc gotter borrow. If we ease up, it has been said, tho bottom will fall out of tho country." "And, Jircallen says that? Without injury? By blue! But you. aro tolerant to excess, my chap." ~ i "Let .mo explain now, Achille. Joe said that. Don't .you understand that the credit of tho country is its good name? Very well; the better its namo the more it can borrow. And here Allen attacks——" ;- "Ah! I see. He attacks the nation. He says it is rotten at tho backbone, in despite of tho good government. He says Sir Bart, is excellent statesman, but tlio''nation, is no good. Not so?" "It is. not so. Ho attacks, as I was going to say when you interrupted me, he attacks the Government." "But tho country, dear friend? It agitate itself of tho country's credit, not of tho credit of Sir Bart., is it not? But perhaps Sir Bart, he .is himself the country. He makes that claim?" "Oh, not at nil. You are hopeless, I ,am beginning to think, AcHille." "Let me hope on.. I but learn. A few lit a time. I think I comprehend. Sir Bart, merely wishes to shut up Jimallen. He wrap himself, for thus to say, in tho llag: 'Would you hit the flag?' he say. 'Oh, but you aro a traitor of the most vile.' But havo you considered— what thinks the good moneylender?" ' "That's a different question." • "It mosecms, dear mister, you confuso wjiat credit signifies. Sir Bart, does not mean credit at all. Credit means honour, sometimes. Sir Bart, ho believes credit means debit. More Jimallen assail him, more the chance the countrys debit keeps down. Is there nothing creditable but borrowing? Please, though, my old, pleaso do not explain." For the benefit of those who intend to stand for Parliament in the interest of the Government, the following vestpocket vade-mccum has been compiled from Ministerialist speeches and writings:— 1. When does a politician indulge in personalities?— When ho says that Sir John Fimllay's views on Imperialism aro dcbateable. ;.2.y And -.also?—' When he. says Sir Joseph Ward is rumoured to havo bought an estate'in Essex. 3. When is it not a personality to say that a man published -a gross libel? — When ho is an Oppositionist. I. Wheir would- it be a vile, vicious, malicious' personality,' to say such a thing?—" When the man is a Minister. 5. What is grossly partisan criticism?— Criticism 'of-tho Government. j 6. W'hat! Always?— No. Only when it jcomes from an effective critic of tho Government, : 7. What is criticism of the Government when it comes from ;a-friend and supporter?— Sound , and honourable dissent. 8. What is "hunger for office"?—Tho desire of the Reform party to throw the Government out. ; 9. What is- the desire of tho Government to - hang "on to-office'?—A self-sacrific-ing,'patriotic-devotion to tho people as a wholo. 10. What is a Public Service Commissioner whom . Parliament can dismiss?— A Czar. '.- 11; What is a Minister whom Parliament cannot dismiss?—A sorvant of tho people. 12. When is a politician a selfish champion of a class?— When ho is opposed to the Government. 13. When it is 'highly courageous to stand for Parliament?— When-, you are a Minister who has already'held office for fiVo years without the public's permission. 11. When aro the. words "skunk," "crawler," and so on, dignified terms?— When they, are used by Sir Joseph Ward. , 15.'When are they undignified and un-I>ailiamentary?-rNcver.-., Because nobody elso over uses them. IC. When is a policy a feeble, foolish non-existent thing?—Wlion it is set out in detail By Mr. Massey. 17. When is it a.splendid thing?— When it is fieft by Sir J. G. Ward to the imagination. Speaking of Sir John Findlay, the Hon. G. Jones observed in tho ; Legislative Council: "It had been said hp had been twic? rejected. Tho speaker could conceive any man being rejected by a Wellington constituency." "Three groans!" Said Jlr. Jones, For "Wellington, that vicious town Which knocks rcspccted persons down, And shows a roally beastly bent For sending Vice to Parliament. Which loves to hick, with inauy a quip, The sacred hat ct Statesmanship— It gives mo (please excuse the nhrasc) the everlasting pi]}. What though it hurls at statesmen truo , The horrid egg of protestTo ba turned down by such a crew Of l'oguos is simply no test. It makes mo sore In all my bonc3 Three more Grottns! "To have a, roguo In Wellington Is, sure as a eun. To bo- a rogue. To bo turned down By such a town Is to.achieve both honour and renown. And co I <!□ not know Why dear Kir John should show The smallest symptom of distress or woe. But, it is duo ' That Oamaru Should lead tho way, and so, I nray, you'll join with me in three times three liowl lusty groans," Said Mr. Jones. Ho was pale, but determined. "I greatly appreciate your tenderness," ho said, with just the least hint of a quaver in his voice; "but I must do this thing. My lionour is concerned; my prido is touched; and when it is a point of pride—" and lie paused to tramplo down the sob of a fino nature over-wrought. Tears started to the cj-cs of all, but smiling wanly, lio said, "I am only human, you know." "No, no," they cried; "we know you are. far more than that,"

"Well, well," ho said with a. pathetic briskness, "don't look so mournful. Don't cry, Jimmy, l'lease, please, dear Joe, don't make your eyes red. Fowlds, old boy, buck up. After nil, you know, it's been done before. AVliy, I'vo dono it before, in a sort of way, myself." "I know," ho went on after a littlo silence, broken only by messengers entering with bundles of telegrams of congratulation or dismay—"l know that it is almost foolhardy. But there is no vanity in my resolve. I feel clear on .that point. .As liltlo vanity in me, I am sure, as there was in Winklestoin, when he gathered tho spears to his breast, or as there was iu Curtius when he plunged into tho gulf and saved the Rome lio' loved. A man must lake tho patli of peril sometimes, or he is loss than a in,an." "What sublimity! What courage!" they murmured. "What other man," they cried, suddenly tossed on a wave of enthusiasm. "would dare this thing?" Still palo and determined, lie said, "I liavo chosen." "Chosen?" they cried in alarm. "Chosen? Where " "Ah," ho said, with a sigli, "where? The deed is the thing. And lam sworn to tho deed." "He is mad," they whispered. "He is mad. Or a hero." And in awed silence they softly went away. He sprang up briskly, and Tang tho bell for his secretary. "I think we'd better get Joe Hanan to stand down, but rim over tho figures again. Parnell is not,as safe as I thought, I find. Have tho figures of last election ready in ten minutes. I'm just going to have a cold shower. Tell them to turn on tho hot water." There aro many ways to success in politics. You can do as Air. T. Mackenzie did, and sit on the fence for years. Or you can cultivate the power of saying nothing whatever that is likely to get you or anybody else into trouble or out of it, like Mr. Buddo. Or you can specialise in ferocious whiskers, and, using them as an ambush, terrify tho Prime Minister into giving you a portfolio, as Mr. Roddy MacKenzie did. But the best way of all, is the way Mr. Ell discovered. A wiso Providence lias fitted the country with towns in which can be found vacant lots that might be set aside as public reserves for Weary Willies to s!eep on, and with largo quantities of native bush. Used economically, these will furnish you with forty years' material for questions that will gradually build up a reputation as a nature-lover. Then you can easily becomo known as a champion cf the workers by a careful study of what the workers want. Do not bother about studying up social reform. Leave the work of legislation to the fatheads. Merely keep on asking tin* Government whether they will grant free parses on the railways to tho workers. Suggest that mothers should be paid ,£lO per baby. Agitate for a heavy duty on motor-cars and silk stockings. Sternly inquire whether your proposal of eight sessions ago has been given effect to. In short, just poke round the dust heaps of politics and pick up all trifles that the other fellows think are valueless. That is Mr. Ell's way. But Mr. Ell is growing extravagant, or nervous, or something. He is just squandering his ammunition. A few days ago he put this question to tho Government: .Whether tliey will take into consideration the question of placing the following goods on the frco list: China and earthen domestic tableware, combs, floorcloth and oilcloth, glassware, cast-iron and enamel liollowware, kerosene lamps, mats and matting, watches (not exceeding .Ci jn va'ue), clocks (not exceeding £a in value), forks,, spoons, and knives (not exceeding ,£1 per dozen in value), tobacco (not exceeding Is. Gd. per pound invoiced value, Is. less duty). In his palmy days Mr. Ell would liavo made that serve for ten separate questions a week. He could get through a whole session on it. Is it that lie is nefvous over the coming election, or has he found a bonanza that makes him independent of thrift?