THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1157, 19 June 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. !(Br M.C.K.V It has dawned at last—tho day of practical politics, when .the- snow-shoveller will not meddle with tho questions that only French-polishers can properly understand, when Mr. D. M'Laren will leave to others tho problems of University teaching, when everyone will stick to his last, and our House of Representatives will bo a House o£ experts. Dr. Izard began it. Long study has convinced him that what is really needed is a medical man or two in the House. By.' a strangecoincidence ho is a'jinedical man.' Mr. J. P. Luko has discovered that we havo all been wrong for years, and is busily preaching that politics consists simply of protecting the iron industry. That is tho way, ho says, to save the nation. Curiously enough, Mr. Luke is an ironmaster, and when reminded of this fact, ho expressed gratification at the bappy coincidence of his interests with those of tho nation's. Wo are advised that Mr. "Creamy" Lather, of the well : known firm of Lather and Strop, will also contest one of the city seats. Tho popular "Creamy" regards land tenure,' the liquor question, public borrowing, and the regulation of industry as issues of great importance, which must bo doalt with as soon as the country is placed on a sound basis by forbidding the injurious practice of selfshaving. To this practico "Creamy" has found that most of our social evils can be ascribed. He will probably bo opposed by Mr. Chrome, the manager for Mcssts. Kidd, Kip and Cardboard, who has bean led, by a study of Mr. T. E. Taylor's speeches, to tho conclusion that the soul of the nation can only be healed by encouraging the boot industry. Ho is confident that his interest in the notion's welfare'will-bo recognised'as quite disinterested. There are even rumours that General Consumer, who has been living .in"!retirement for some, time, may enter the fray again, but his chances are considered poor by those to whom he has shown his election address, in which ho confesses almost bluntly that ho is "out for"' himself.

1 Asked what stand the;miners of New Zealand would take if Britain cngaKed in a. just war, Mr. Semple replied that presumably, in that event, no attempt would be made to obstruct the Admiralty in obtaining coal .supplies-News item. "All is not, then, lost?" "Not, utterly. He admits there can be a just war. But he does not say absolutely that we may go ahead. 'Presumably, 'is what' he says." •••" "Host unfair! Most tyrannical!" "And dangerous.' When ho has decided that it is a just war that we propose, he ought to give us full permission to proceed. But he indicates a doubt; which 'means'.' conferences, and delay,'' during .which- the enemy might smash us up." "Couldn't we go ahead, and risk it in such cases?"'. "Ho wouldn't like it.,:!.We must conciliate him somehow." "Does'he dig-all the cpaj?"' " "He doesn't dig any. H6.firganises." ."Organises? What does ho organise?" "Only the earth as yet." "Well, |wo must ..think,' it over. And now'let iis think of something else. By ;tJie way, I've written another fablo for iyour littlo book. An old. one, a little '.modernised.''','...'... '■"■> '•" •• j "Read'it.;'; ■■;.'....'•'■ 1 "Once there was a Locomotive. While 'blowing off steam one day it Riled a large' Fly named Bill that-was addressing ?,a Fly Conference on a Shed", .'-near by. 'Boocareful,' said tho Fly, 'if you behave nicely I will not-molest you, but if you •Offdrid mc, Look out.' Some time after, [ ther, Locomotive'.was., whirling along ,a Line. This Ely was sitting on one of the Rails, and said 'Stop, or I'll throw .you off tho Line. You must.not come : this way.' 'Where's Bill?' said the Flies -that night. Even the Locomotive didn't know."

"The Opposition-said the Ward Gov-ernment-was hypocritical and dishonest," 'observed Mr. Carroll at Carterton; "a 'future Opposition ■ would probably refer to them as tho noble men of 1911." There ■is not a doubt of it, if the public would wake up at the next election. "k continual fire of criticism that lowered credit was not justified nor was it right to'let everybody know, outside, about certain weaknesses that might be' only apparent and not real." So said Mr. J. P.- Luke, M.P., whence somebody must rejoice as somebody once rejoiced when Mr.' Bent,' of Victoria, once spoke to much the same effect. I'm'a voter in the Subbubs, an' me nerve's begun tor go Through this loud incessant 'ollorin' re the millions wot wo owe; So I riso ter state me pleasure at the shatterin' rebuke Delivered ter the traitorous Bang by Mr. J. P. LukeDiscernin' Mr. Luke— The patriot Mr. .Luke— W'ich "'TJsh! yer wakin' Cohen," whispers Mr. J. P. Luke. "We've borrered eighty millions, an' we !aven't paid our way, . ; An''the paco .is/still ' a.-cracker, twenty thousan' quid a day; But it ain't by over-borrowin' that a country's credit's shook, It's only talk about it wot is bad," Eays Mr. Luke. '~•:''.' .The statesman Mr. LukeMr. Kindly Do Not Lukc"Why, it's ruin ter refer to it," says Mr. J. P. Luke.

"Per'aps there's certain weaknesses, but if you 'old your tongue They'll cause no hinconvenience till posterity goes bung; W'ich silence it is golding, I 'ave read it in a book— . ■-• ■ Don't PRECIPITATE disaster, I himplore," says Mr. Luke. The bulwark, J. P. Luke— The modern Solon, Luke— "Confine yer talk ter iron, same as me," says Mr. Luke. "Tho social .drains is festerin', the Administration smells, But wot's the use of sayin' so an' uttcrin' picrcln' yells? Just use ratchouli freely, an' the smell will take its 'ook. An' we'.'l all bo nice nn' "appy," say 6 persuasive Mr. Luke.. The member Mr. Luke— • Keassurin' Mr. Luke— "Don't destroy the country's credit. 'TJsh ; it up," sayß Mr. Luko. "Merely TIIINKIN' things is rotten doesn't do us any 'arm; It's only w'en yer SAY 'cm .that there's cause for deep alarm; The fac's themselves is nothin' (I admit as things is crook), Wot 'urts us is tor mention 'em," says Mr. J. P. Luke. The member Mr. LukeIndignant Mr. Lultc— "W'enco I gives this 'oleEome counsel: Whisper low," says Mr. Luke. The following paragraphs, picked up in the, street, seem to have been intended for our evening contemporary: Tho agitation for a new knob on tho door of the Waikanae Post Office has been successful. A new knob, the Minister states in a. letter to Mr. W. U. Field, M.P. for Otaki. will bo supplied. It is announced that there will be a holiday on June 22 in honour of the Coronation. On that date King Ocorgc (of England) will be crowned in Westminster Abbey (London). This information was conveyed by tho Aoting-Prime Minister in a telegram to Mr. W. H. Field, JI.P. for Otaki^

According to Mr. V 7. 11. Field. M.P. for Otoki, it is not generally known that a large number of ducks have been shot in the Otaki electorate since May 1. Mr. Field believes that this is largely due to the fact that the shooting season opened on that date. It is a. subject in which Mr. Field is deeply interested, and lie is 111 communication with the Hon. I). Buddo concerning it. There have been rumours that the census shows that the .South Island may lose one scat in Parliament. Mr. \f. 11. Field. M.P. for Otaki, has now been informed by the Government that the rumours aro well founded. Speaking upon the weather the other day. Mr. \V. H. Field, M.P. for Otaki, mentioned that there was nothing unusual in the generally lower temperature prevailing in June as compared with January. 110 has made a study of the subject for some years, and has found that it is a common phenomenon. There aro at present 996 inmates in the Asylum at Porirun. (which is situated in the electorate of Mr. W. H. Field, M.P. for Otaki). Asked for his opinion lmon the trouble in Morocco, Mr. W. H. Field, M.P. for Otaki, said that ho was of opinion that matters were serious. Spain, he understood, was not in agreement with France. Ho expressed tho hope that everything would be settled satisfactorily. It was stated some time ago that Cabinet would consider the request- of the people of Otaki for a. load of shingle for tho station yard at Pnkcrua. Mr. W. 11. Field, M.P. for Otaki. has now received a telegram from the Hon. E. M'Konzio statr ing that tho matter is being kept steadily in view.