IRISH POLITICS AND IRISH HUMOUR.

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 452, 10 March 1909, Page 4

IRISH POLITICS AND IRISH HUMOUR.

( EXTRAORDINARY STORIES. | (BY REV. F! Stubbs.) In venturing to write 011 Irish aHairs, I am conscious that I am treading 011 fai more dangerous ground than that of Ro oiua. Political feeling in Ireland is very strong, and with tho host will in tho world it is by no moans easy to unravel tho tangled skein of Irish politics. But I haro done my best, and whilst it would lie too much to hope that I havo fallen into no error I believe that tho genera"! impression convcjcd to the mind of tho intelligent- reader will be a correct one. In this tliiiti article I propose to touch on a variety' of topics. Some yea is at a salo of wine, 1 all the odd lots weie purchased by a grocer ;m a small way in the old town of Edinburgh. The agent had the curiosity to visit him j sonic time after, anc inquiro what possible use ho could havo 101 such material. He was shown -Hy way ot answer a large vat where all the liquors, from humble Gladstone to imperial lokav, were fermenting together. "And asked, "do you propose to call tlnsi' 1111 110' very sure," replied tho grocer, out think it's going to turn out port.' And so, though something of a hotch-pot, I hope inj article is at least going to turn out mtoiTurning once more to tho inevitable land question, it may,bo worth wliilo to say a few words on the excellent work being do.no bj tho Department -for Agriculture, ibis Department,, established in 1899, has an incomo from tho Imperial Exchequer of i-UU,-000. Its object is tlio revival and development of Irish agriculture and all its dependent industries. Its machinery is most elaborate, and yet is said to work smoothly and effectively. It embraces a Council of Agriculture, consisting of 102 members, 68 of whom aro appointed by tho County Councils, and the remainder by the Department: an Agricultural Board, a Board of lechnical Education, three Agricultural Colleges, and •10 itinerant instructors. In 26 counties classes are lield during tho winter months for lectures on agricultural science, etc., and in addition to the Agricultural Colleges, whero students get board, residence, and instruction for tho trifling sum of £9 9s. per annum, instructors visit the farmers and adviso them in fanning matters. A method frequently pursued is for tho officer to persuade tho farmer-to treat a crop according to his instructions, tho officer guaranteeing an average return, the surplus to go towards the expenses of the Department, and the farmer getting the benefit of the experiment. Tho Right Hon. T. AV. Russell, M.P.. told mo .that tho result was almost invariably satisfactory, and mentioned one case he knew of in which the land treated by the farmer on old lines yielded 4;} tons of potatoes to the acre, whilst the demonstration plot yielded 14J tons. In this way the farmers aro convinced of the superiority of 'the new methods, by evidence thoy can understand and appreciate. A Collego of Science is also now. being built in Dublin, with a .Faculty of Agriculture, where student!) will be able to got theoretical instruction in farming, whilst practical instruction will be given on an experimental farm outsido tlio city, tho expense to the student, including board, to bo only ten or twelve pounds a year. In view of tbo rapid increase''of tenant proprietors under tho Land Purchase Acts, this general diffusion of agricultural knowledge is'of vital importance, and the Department is deservedly popular throughout tho country. I am not sure but that some of its operations might bo usefully introduced into New Zealand and Australia. The Irish peasant. Tlio condition of tho peasantry is much bettor than, it was. Wages, which once averaged ss. or 6s. a week, liavo risen to 12s. or 14s. Tho homes of the people aro also improving. Tbo ■■ Congested Districts Board, as I' have shown, is .doing much, and 'the County Councils aro also building labourers' cottages, costing up to £280, with from half an aero to an aero of ground. I inspected a number of theso'cottages,, and found them very neat; and comfortablo; built of brick and st-ono; generally'-two stories high; and let at rentals of Is. 6d. to 2s. 6d. per week, the loss being borno by tho rates. That it was quite timo that something .was ,done for the decent housing of tlio people tho following illustrations will show.. 11l one cabin that I entered 1- found a man, his wife, and eight children, tho two eldest of whom, a boy and a girl, were gra\vn up, all living in two tinv rooms, and at night occupying one room with two small beds. In another case, a two-roomed cottage contained, besides the married couple, a pig, 30 fowls, and three labourers who lodged .with them. It. is quite a common thing for the poultry to roost in the house, and tho innocent stranger who is unaware of their proximity abovo his head sometimes meets with a reception ho did not bargain for. The cow and pig'are also not infrequently accommodated. But the worst case I know, of was roported to a Commission appointed •by tho Dublin Corporation some years ago, in which it was shown that a carpenter and his wife, three children, two goats, some hens and ducks, a dog, and a gentleman who lodged, with them, all lived in a single room, which was also tlio carpenter's workshop. I don't think this example will bo easily beaten, and to one who lias not visited Ireland it would appear incredible. But these cases have their serious as well as their humorous side. How irf it possible for decency, much less delicacy, to be observed by human beings living under such conditions? And yet the standard oS domestic virtue amongst the poor Irish is very high. They aro warm in their affcctions, and will share the last crust and tlio last potato with one another. It. is estimated that £1,000,000 a year is sent back to Ireland by emigrants, and thousands have thus been heliiod by their friends to cross tlio water. Such crimes as infanticide, wife-murder, and wife-desertion are much rarer than amongst tho corresponding classes ill England. Paddy's chief faults aro fondness for strong liquor, a not irresistible disinclination for a fight, a credulity that is easily imposed upoa, and a constitutional disinclination to exertion. Where the Scotchman or Englishman would get up and repair his roof, tho Irishman will sit down with his pipe in his mouth anl lament that his floor is flooded. That is the difference.. Ho has no . turn for mechanics,, has little farming skill, and is content with little. Ho likes to put the seed into the ground, and then sit down with his pipe in his mouth and wait for a crop, varying tho proceedings with fairs, and wakes, and other festive gatherings. Short spells of work and long spells of loafing is Paddy's conception of an earthly Paradise. As I hare shown in a previous article, Paddy is not altogether to blame for this—his history must be taken into account. But there is tho fact, and it will take a good many years to change his habits. Irish Humour. Notwithstanding all the strife and misery of which for centuries he has been the victim, tho Irishman still remains the wittiest of men. Often sullen and morose, brooding over real or fancied wrongs, he is yet always ready for a jest. There seems to be a . certain buoyancy in . the , Irish temperament which nothing can repress.' It is fortunate when it is so with either man or nation. A friend of mine told mo of' a. visit he paid to Dublin many years ago in which ho arrived at night, and knowing nothing of the city asked the cabman to drive him to a rospcctablo hotel. Being an early riser, he resolved in the morning to take a stroll round the city, but unfortunately omitted to inquiro either the name of tho hotel or tho street in which it was situated. After roaming about for an hour or so, bo endeavoured to find his way back, but. in vain. (I onco lmd a similar experience in - Norway.) At length lie summoned tho aid of a car-driver, explaining his difficulty, and giving what description be could of the hotel. The jarvey at onco recognised tbo hostelry, but concealing his knowledge said, "'tYell, if your honour knows 'neither tlio name of the hotel nor that of the street, it may take mo hours to find it; what will your honour give me if I succeed?" "I'll give you 55.," said my '•friend. "Bight, sorr," said the jarvey, "jump up, sir; I'll soon find it," and driving a few hundred yards pulled up at the Hotel, and said, "Is this tlio hotel, your honour?" "It is," replied his fare, "here's your 55., and tho joke is well worth it."-

Perhaps ono of Uio best examples of Irish wit was given by a gentleman who was conversing with two young ? ladies on tlio subjoct of age, when 0110 of tlicm put tho embarrassing question, "Which of us do you think is the elder, Mr. G. ?" "Sure," replied tlio gallant Hibernian, "you both look younger than each other." Could anything Ijg neater or wittier? During my residence in Dublin, there was a correspondence in tlio "Irish Times" with regard to tlio statuo of Tom Moore, a tourist calling attention to tho fact that tfiere is no inscription whatever to show whom the statue was intended to represent, and saying that 110 had inquired in vain. Another correspondent, replying, said that tho life and works of the "Poet of All Circles'' were too well known for his statuo to require ail inscription, thouglr how reading an author's works would enable 0110 to rccngniso his portrait is to tlio Saxon mind rather obscure. Possibly tlio reply was a species of subtle ironic humour. But I mention the incident' mainly for tho sake of another story told in tlio course of tlio correspondence. Tho writer said that an acquaintance of his was a fellow-passenger 011 a tramcar with a lady tourist. When' passing tho statuc-of Smith O'Brien, the visitor a'sked the Irish gentleman what O'Brien had dono to merit a public statue. "You will find it." was tho reply, "eloquently described on tho pedestal, if you will take tho trouble to alight." Tlio inquirer thanked him, and alighted. The car went on, and it happened that 011 his return journey tho Irishman again met the lady tourist, and asked, her if sho had examined the pedestal. "Y cs >"i replied slioj "I examined it carefully, but found nothing." "That, madamo," said 1 ho, "is just all ho did, and the blank panel eloquently expresses it." I doubt if this is fair to Smith O'Brien, but it at all events illustrates the Irish fund of humour. Irish Grievances. In the year 1866, M. Guizot, Premier of Franco, talking of Ireland as he walked with an English guest, stopped in his walk and said with' emphatic gesture, "Tho conduct 01 England to Ireland for. the last 30 years lias been admirable." I think this utterance wa3 much too generous at the time, but it would certainly bo no less than just to-day. Catholic Emancipation lias been carried; the tithe-proctor extinguished; the Stato Church [ abolished; national education instituted ; local government granted; numerous agrarian reforms made; and immense sums of money voted by tho British Parliament for the relief of tho farmers and peasantry. Ireland to-day has 110 serious grievance. . She possesses the most liberal land Jaws in the world, and tho British Parliament has granted privileges to the Irish tenant that it has refused to either English or Scotch. In regard to ecclesiastical matters, too, she has been greatly favoured. Tho representatives of tho Irish people wore never unanimous in the advocacy of Disestablishment; in Wales, not a single man has been sent to tho present Parliament who is not pledged t) it, and yet the British Parliament has steadily refused to Wales what it has granted to Ireland. Even in regard to the wrongs of tlio past, whilst theso are always to be reprobated, it must not bo forgotten that tho people of England and Scotland suffered injustices as well, and in strongly condemning Protestant intolerance, as I have done, it is only fair to romeiiibcr the llitolleranco of the Woman Catholic Church where it is in the ascendant. In any. case, it is unfair to hold tho 20th century responsible lor tho deeds of men long since passed away. Tlio England of Balfour and Asquith is not tlio England of tho Georges, and Stuarts, and Tudors. No, it is quite timo that wild talk of English tyranny came to an end, and that all patriotic sons of Ireland applied themselves to tho task of utilising the great opportunities that have been opened up for Irish enterprise by recent legislation. It is said that when the news of Mr. Gladstone's Homo Rule Bill reached him, a Connemara peasant ceased planting his potatoes. Home Rule was to provide an escape from toil I This can never be. No legislation, and no form of government can relievo mankind from tho necessity for exertion, and it will be a good thing for Ireland when the energies now expended in political agitation aro given to the development-of its resources. Home Rule. As for the demand for Homo Rule, 'whilst I havo expressed' my detestation of tlio way in which the Union was brought about at tho close of tlio 18th century, I. have ■ very grave doubts whether the legislative separation of England and Ireland would be any -sdvantago to cither country to-day. ; The two islands are the commercial supplements of each other. Tho 0110 ; is rich in pasture, but poor ill minerals; tho other Is rich in its. mineral resources, but has not pasture land sufficient to supply the noeds of its The Irish temperament, too, fitly supplements tho English and Scotch. Then.it must bo remembered there is more than ono Ireland. I havo referred in tlieso articles chiefly- to the South and West, to Roman Catholic Ireland, but there are really two Irelands, with two races and two religions. In tho North you'have a population loyal, prosperous, and contented; in . tho Sc.uth and West, .' a .people unprogrossive, poor, and sullen; and although the Protestant North is in a minority, it is a largo minority, rich and energetic, and in any conflict would certainly havo the sympathy of Protestant Britain. To talk, therefore, of tho North being compelled to submit to a legislative clipiigo that would put it at the mercy of tlio Roman Catholic South, is in my opinion preposterous. I havo repeatedly talked to men of Ulster, on tho subject, and they havo invariably informed mo that they bclioved Ulster would fight _ first. There aro other difficulties, also, which afi'ect the very existence of tho Empire. If Australia or New Zealand wished to dissolve tlio union with Great Britain, Britain would not- opposo it. Those are many thousands of miles away. But it is different with Ireland: her harbours aro close to England's own coasts, and if at any timo a difference arose in re-, gard to international or defence matters, tho result .might bo disastrous. Tho examples of Austria-Hungary and Norway and Sweden also are not encouraging in this connection. And, therefore, though.a sincero friend of Ireland, and an admirer of many Irish traits, I am forced to the conclusion that whilst yet larger powers of local government might safely bo conferred, anything like a legislative separation of England and Inland would be a misfortune l'or both, and lead to bankruptcy and strife. I alone, of .course, am'responsible for the opinions expressed above, and they may be mistaken. All I can say is that in tho three articles I havo written, I havo endeavoured to write both fairly and sympathetically, and to give the reader as wide and accurate a view of the Irish people and Irish affairs as is possible witlijn tho spaco at my disposal.