HOW HE REFUSED.

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 336, 24 October 1908, Page 11

HOW HE REFUSED.

An Australian paper quotes a story told about Sir. Bernard Shaw by Mrs. CornwallisWest, whose .reminiscences are always amusing. It concerns an invitation to lunch, and is delightfully characteristic of Mr. Shaw's unconventional ways and wonderful capacity for extricating himself from an awkward fix by a littlo word-juggling. It seems that Mrs. Cornwallis-Wost had met tho "tall, pale, thin, and ascetic-looking" Irishman, "with wonderful transparent eyes," and liked him sufficiently to invite him to a luncheon party. Imagino her chagrin whon she received the following answer: —"Certainly not; what have I done to provoke such an attack on my well-known habit?" Mrs. CornwallisWest replied at once by telegram" Know nothing of your habits; hopo they are not as bad as your manners." She evidently thought she had settled the budding dramatist. But Mr. Shaw's explanation undeceived hor. It ran as follows:— __ _ "' Be reasonable ;• what can I do. If I refuse an invitation in conventional terms I -am understood as repudiating the acquaintance of my hostess. If I make the usual excuses and convince her that I am desolated by some other engagement, she will ask me again. And when I. have excused myselt six times running she will; conclude that 1 personally disliko her. Of course, there is tho alternative of acceptingbut then 1 shall endure acute discomfort and. starvation. I shall not have the pleasure of really meeting her and talking to her any more than if wo happened to lunch at the, Savoy on the same day by chance. .1 shall; get no .lunch, because I do not . eat the unfortunate dead animals and. things which she has to provide for the other.people. .Of those other people, half will abuse the occasion to ask me to lunches and dinners, and the other half, having alreadv spread that net,for me.in vain, will be offended because I have done for you what I would not do for them. I shall have to dress mvself carefully and behave properly, both of which are contrary to my nature. Therefore I am compelled to do the simple thing, and when you say Come lunch ' with a lot of people," reply flatly, I won t. If you propose anything pleasant to me 1 shall reply with equal flatness, I will. But lunching with a lot of people—carnivorous people—is not pleasant. Besides, it cuts down my morning's work. I won t lunch with you; I won't dino with you; I won't call on you - I won't take the smallest part in your social routine; and I won't ever know you except on tho most special and privileged terms, to the utter exclusion of that lot of other people" whoso appetites you offered me as an entertainment.' Only an Irishman could have edged out .'of an almost impossible position so neatly and so' completely. ' ; Mrs. e t really should have told us .whether she admitted the dramatist to the, friendship upon the "most special and privileged terms which ho claimed. Possibly the fact that she has told the tale may, be regarded as proof that she was forgiving.