THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 247, 11 July 1908, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. [By a Casual ChronicijEb.] Mr. Lloyd-George, speaking at a Mansion House banquet to .bankers and, merchants, , said that, .with. a stunning deficit; dwindling . revenues, ami . depressed (trade, he was in so mood for jesting—Cable item. . The bleak, grey-blooded Briton, ' Of all blithe hearts abhorred, With no sweet ardour, smitten . . For. things he can't, afford, . • . .. When.debts are simply stunning,''' • ' And nothing's smoothly running, •' - iests;ana iranning; • .7 (TJnlike Sif. Joseph Ward.).' It is a slump,"'or is'it'' . A falling off of trade Combined with a deficit? • His heart-is sore afraid. <. He takes no gallant, chances In those'sad, circumstances— Not of warm'rose-red fancies His .Budget -blue is made. ■ ; . Not, not_ for him the glories . ' .' ' Of driving on full'.speed:' r _>' • That-two and two make four is . ■ , • His dark,-'drab, dreary creed. No /bubbles iridiscent :

Relieve his gloomy Present:. He states tho fact unpleasant •. For anguished folks to read. Sad chiqf of ' tho" Exchequer, Why are'your spirits low? .Keep lip:that falling pecker . . > By rivalling Sir Joe... What though the cash is ended?Hope', and a blind eye, blended. Will, make'the future, splendid, . . - And blot out all'you-owe. . . . . Faint-hearted, will 'you cling to • A theory long outworn; , And only.: sad tunes, sing to, . , When'balances are drawn ?• . ■ ■ Many the things .you may do: Copy . Sir J.'s bravado . . When finding Eldorado' . : By placing things-in'pawn. "L intend," said .Mr. Millar to a deputation of Water-side Workers during the week, "to ask tho Government Insurance 'Department.if it'can'formulate' a'.'scheme of'insurance against sickiioss." Labour officials declare that they will not.'accept mere palliatives. They- will continue to agitate until, they are given, a scheme of. insurance against work. -, • .."The Wellington papers, it seems,-are:boy- ' cotting the Auckland preparations for tho reception of the. American . Fleet,' hence public t , interest in the eventj is not particularly-keen . '* '- in Wellington. .This action of the metropolitan press 'is'a'"pitjful exhibition of puerile pettiness, - which I hope(and trust: will'.soon . givb rway to, a.' more reasonable frame'of ' mind."—An Auckland bon mot. V.V ... . , Auckland.is freer of crime at the.present . moment than at alrrfost any period iol- its his-' ' tory. Auckland's crime record/ 1 the.- police state, is a' better one than that of Wellington.—News item. "What ails the,Great-Metropolis?"-said Wei- ; lington afraid;- ■ ,> • - v.- *.» "It 6 hlood is up! Its blood is up!" the man ' . from Auckland raid; "Has it. no :ice,-to.'cool its pulse?" said Wellington" /afraid; ; 'jrv'; l ''V ' -' ~ ■ "There's not . enough in. all the world," the - ! man from. Auckland said; "Too long beneath'a'napkin have our talents. 1 great ; been" hid; 1 ; . Too long we've given. Trey to Paris, London and -, Madrid;'' • ' From the cauldron of. our anger we have lifted - , off the .lid, \ As recorded'in the 'Herald' of this morning" "But'why this thunder-striking. wrath ?" said Wellington afraid: . "We mean to -paralyse the earth/' tho man _ ...from Auckland said; - "But can't,you spare .this poorYold pah?" said Wellington:afraid'.' n 7, • "Not much, we c^n't;: we're out for'scalps,'' the'man;from Auckland said; "When London boasts, we merely smile: it's just . poor London's way, And Auckland will be Auckland when St. Paul's • , ' is swept away....: 1 ; > But when - villages turn nasty, then the Lion :, turns to .bay, . . . -And : the 'Herald' roars for columns in the ■ - ; morning."-', ' "What crimes-/have we-comitted now?" said . Wellington afraid; - .... . . "You won't report our flags and things,'' the' man from Auckland said; "Oh, yes; we quite forgot your. flags," said .Wellington afraid; .(Thoje 6 tars but feebly reprc- . sent what Auckland's champion said.) amused," he added, "at the puerile ... ~ Of the foul,and slanderous .tactics of your, vile , polluted-press, . . ; And we really think with- pity of poor Welling- . ; ton's distress, .'i .- ■' • -• Since our glory drove your hamlet into moiirn- ' irig." ./ . . ■' ' "But. surely 'you will spare our lives?"' .said ' Wellington afraii: "Yes, though-1 should not call them lives," , . the man from Auckland said;: "Tour'jokes,, please say you'll spare them too," said Wellington afraid; , (Once more, mere words fall short of what the man. from Auckland said.) "Our crimes/' he cried, "are less than yours, our . boot-jack, exports-more,•' . , • Bat—Bab! Go read, your Kipling! . What's the use of saying, more? No wondor that yourr hamlet grits its. teeth: .it's feeling sore ■ : i - • From the bludgeon of the-'Herald' every morning." . A telegram from Auckland reports "that a (ndy who had purchased - a sheep's, head in that city found, on opening the mouth of the sheep, "a thin layer of alluvial gold between the teethe" . Enormous excitement, has since prevailed.' The . Auckland "Herald," it is understood,- intends' to publish an article, in which voluminous statistics will be quoted to show the extraordinary richness and prosperity of Auckland, as evidenced in tho fact that gold is oozing out everywhere.; A leading agriculturist believes that the sheep was "salted" , by'a mining broker who recently turned farmer, and .who is anxious to dispose of -his flock. .Mr.'' laurenson, M.P., thinks of asking the Government whether the sheflp of the rountry cannot be nationalised, in order that the'unearned increment in" the'shape of the rich auriferous deposits in the animals'may be preserved for the State. , Mr. H.- G. Ell, JfcP., intends to press for.'a graduated tax • on sheep'. ' Mr, Donne is believed to be endeavouring,' under .instruction' from .Sir Joseph Ward, to secure the head for despatch to London with the object of, counteracting tbo-attempts of certain financial critics to injure'the country. The Banking Reform Conference (Messrs. Flatman, Barclay, , etc.) reports thaV the sheep, will solve the, gold reserve problem, Attempts are being made to float the Auckland ' sheep into a company, and to cable for a boring plant. A rumour has got into circulation that , the sheep was merely preparing its' toilet for Fleet Week., ...' ' .

It is unfortunate that a celebrated worker, who has b'een : telling the bakers that he,had suffered for them and would suffer more, left for, Sydney yesterday, and. thus lost-the chance of a great happiness by giving , the men his moral support when thoy appear before the Court—if they ever so appear. One other famous worker-is happily still with us, and, before the strike fades into oblivion/an attempt is hero made to celebrate two of'the dwindling band of modern heroes.

W'ich' I gives yer\ feller wuckers, (an' no 'eel- ' . taps,'if yer please),. Tom the Great an' Honost Handrew, '00, wo all of us agrees. Is the blokes ter stir yer blood » W'en yer listenin' in (ho mud: 'Ere's ler Tom an'; Honest Handrew. 'Ere's a 'oilth ter pals like these. Tom declared as V would suffer: 'e declared it ' long an' loud " In a voice as thrilled tis, comrids, in a. voice ' as fired, tho crowd. .., ' 'Is-emotion not dissemblin', ■ . Yer ; could see 'is scarfpin tremblin' With 'is feelin's as 'is hellerquence was batterin'. down the proud. Not fer them :a craving silence! Not fer them the'muffled tongue! No!;, They'll do .'an' dare an 'suffer with a ... . .vigour, ever young. : ■ Not fer them soft soap on' sawder! " - No!- Ter''E 1 with lawrenorder! 'Ere's ter Handrew,-King of 'Eroes! 'Ere's ter Tom, the Lord of Lung.-See-'em tpilin*, till their voices is become ex- . . tremely.'oarse'. See 'em sufferin'' cramp from wavin', of their arms,-lads, ter henforco Ihem terrific' tellin' points; See 'em cramped in all their joints With their labour at the statue. Are they 'eroes? (Loud Applause.) Thej; 'ave the lure of Mammon, an' ' they 'ate base coin so much That they scorn all 'sweaty labourin' an' the wages ■ paid fer*'such.' , Boys! Ter Handrew an' ter. Tom, , An' the words as 'pour therefrom. W'ich, i espondin', they .will tell yer Mammon's flns in'double dutch.