THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 57, 30 November 1907, Page 5

THE CHANGING SCENE

A BIRD'S EYE VIEW. [Br a Casual Chronicler.] 'A! cable message received on Tuesday read as follows: "The Historic 'Pekin Gazette' has ceased to appear. It has been replaced by an excellent modern newspaper, named 'Changechia Kuanpao.'"; Wellington' subscribers are adjured to continue their support. oLthe.old firm by taking in its bright and gossipy successor. "The first Act dealt with, the Land Laws Amendment Act," says a contemporary,, "appears in another clomun." When will the thing end its changes and transformations? The true significance of Lord Tweedmonth's statement that "for the next three or tour years. Great Britain's position will bo perfectly sale," is a dreadful one. It appears that ho was really hinting, as delicately; as possible, at an early Judgment Day, for the evening paper gave the news the significant' headline: "ALWAYS Ready." ' One of the local papers expects the worst from tlie new titles necessitated by the elevation of this country's status. It thus concludes a lender on the session: "The Colonial Treasurer becomes Minister of Finance, and the Colonial Secretary Minister for Internal j Affairs. The Dominion continues to enjoy a period of quite unexampled prosperity! aiid the. Government faces the_J'uhire with_ Uie confidence and strength of the ..country at its back." 'Surely this is taking an exaggerated view of the probable effects of the titles. " 'To fast or not to fast, that js the question,' as til' pote Bracken- says," said Mr. Dooley. "S)iall we give up chops an' live on hope? Do wo need th' nithrogeii? Isvratlier fattening? Does food kill?",- „ "What is this fastin' throuble anuyway?" ' asked Mr; Hennessey. ' ; "Th 1 town iv Wanganui is leaviii' its food ontouched at a tcrr'ble rate. Few has eat aniiythin' more than fried air f'r throe months, an' there's talk iv bavin- th' butch- ' ers dlirummed out iv town f'r puttiii' temp-' tntion Jn th' way iv th' population* Th' people, air-re growin' fat on a -pint iv wither at risiu', an' th' only people in Wanganui who is growin' thin is th' bakers an' th' butchers. ' 'Tis a mistake;-'' says Mr. Lloyd Jones, ,'t' think starrvation's ,caused be want iv food. 'Tis caused,' says ho, 'be a bad conscience,' ho says. An Auclclan' docthor wants t' thry tli' fast-in' on th' cows, but he's just a bigot, Jawii. 'I've a stomach,' he says, 'ah' what's it holler f'r?' says he. But ya can't fetop th' Wanganui man. 'Til'■ stomach,' iie says, 'is a survival dike the littla o'.rgan, that gives appendicitis, t' th' millionaires an' stomach acho't'""wharf lumpers,' says he. There's a movement in Wanganui t'". sweep away th' food thraffic thh't'.'ia roonin' millions'an' catisin' poverty. Tli! childhreil ar-re t'.bo instiiructed in th' evils iv atin' an' ar-re t' sign th' pledge. 'An'th' fotid eaters dr-'re sayin-': 'Why,' they says, 'sltud we have t' give up food because a few....wake-minded - crayt-ures,' -they- says, 'can't, faysist th' sausag6~ ( "'an'' th'J browii broad?''they says. But $li.';',f&§tcrs say "that temptation siitid not bo putibefore th* weak, an' that -whin a man falls, an' ates a plato iv tliripe tin' onions, he is less t' blame thin th' mail who sold it t' him.'- .: , "What do you think iv it?" asked Mr, Hennessey.- — t • • - " 'Tis a grail' scheme. How bettber ban a man- livo thin be adoptin' a policy tliat keeps him thinkih' iv his internial orrgans? Th' ha-ad old days whin a mail had time t! think..iy others, an' t' go asthray bo lettin' his hearrt overcome his head, will soon end in th' new ayra 1 whin th' empty stomach takes command. Lifo will be rale an' earriicst. Ye will take yore tempcrachoor ivery five minutes. Ye frill poiidher whither' je oiight t' have had that extra glass iv lemon dhrink. Th' ould careless days whin life Was sripiiosed t' be given f'r th'.:-purpose iv'-cn-jbyin' liviii' will be no liiorre. ' 'Tis a gran 1 scheme."

The decision of the Government to send nico post-cards instead of telegraph forms to tho recipients of telegraphed Christmas greotings is only the first step in a vast programme of reform. At an early date overy lovo letter will be delivered by a postman wearing white favours, and the Post Office attach to the letter ,i beautiful lovo poem, 36 of which have been specially written for tho Department. A pair of flat-irons and a table-centre 1 . will bo giveij to each recipient of an-engagement ring'sent through the post. Sir Joseph Ward will,'on Christmas morning,, personally wish every telephone subscriber joy and happiness. Tho diilriess and coldness of the official stationery in all departments, it,has been de-cided,-should give place to' something" more graceful and friendly, and a scheme reform is alniost perfected. T!n>:paper will.be pink, anil will be delicately scented, with-i stamped' ilonii border, embellished with vorscs, puns and comic;pictures. At all the Government offices a bjiiid will play in future fiom'9 a.ni: until u p.m., and afternoon .. tea will bo served for all visitors. The new ptogramiiio will necessitate the ereatioii .of a liew '[ Department - with a Minister for Aesthetic- Affairs at- its head. New postagt stamps are to be issued, the gum lipon wliicb will bo a thick coating of turkish delight! It is hoped by these means to establish a warm and intimate iiffcctioii between tha public and the Government. 1

"Time'.'alone," said the Attorney-Genera! in his filial speech in the Council on Monday, "eduld tell whether tlio high aims and purposes of the Govnrnnumt would bo realised." Upon hearing this Mr. Bernard O'Dowd, th( Melbourne writer, promptly wired this poem in postscript to his ' Dominions of the Bounds Boundary."' He mentions that its title, it "iixperimentia," (the newly discovered goi doss). I am tlio Moulder of the Act, I molton incaßurcs pour In crucibles of Language cracked .. . By ungiammatic Flaw. . . . , _ The furnace of my Fancy warms And hardens for the Earth Crude dreams and protoplasmic.-forma Of Socialistic birth. I protests scorn relentlessly, . j High-purposeful I place Blind Blithering Blunder's fallen tro' -In the pathway of the race. Athena misanthropic inny • - My dcrringdo condemn— The unborii Millions, they must pay Not riiino to build for them. Trustful my ,dim-eyed Sycophants My voice seductiv'e heed; At hazard, for Creation's wants, i saw the random-seed.' Fluid my feats faiitnstic are. And uncontrolled their trend, • Cold Reason, when thbj go toD far, Will wreck tlierfl- in the eild. "I move'Giiiger toko the banana-case, said Billb. "Blbkesj" said "Ginger, "we've met toi organise. Y' all' know that tho Law 'as said Ave.cah't feet fire tef Ctiowfc Cooper an' .Button- JVofc are jyo turn' tor

do? W'y, in Dunedin, two of the boys is on a .three njunco stretch .for. doin' .notbin' but lift twenty., thick 'una fropi a. blecdin' Quong. Tho ideo is ter form er Blokes' Union. Wo wantor get public reckornition, an' Micko and Curly 'as drawed up tlio rules. Is it'la^gO;?" "Chaps," said Curly, who had been filing a key hi,'the corner, "wo must oxpec' persecution fer- a' bit, but in the ond we'll bo all right. Wo kin adopt the rules an' then send a deputation tor the Minister, pointin' out the 'ardship of 'avin' a bench wot is. hob- / viously in the pay or China. Is the rules agreed,tor?- : OH'.right. : Ginger-is president,, an' 'im an'nio an' Billo will report at the nex' moot.in'. Once yer get the Union rcclt-. ernisedi yer'll'bo; all sereno.' We'vo-' got .a plan'ter run our own candidates at nex' election', with the hobjcct of gottin'. justice.' "Wo now adjourn,',' said Ginger, "an r .will pay our-call on Hing Cfiow., Got yet metal? Then'get a move on." ; ■ The-annual report oE v the Cliurch of England Association deplores .the decadence of church'-attendance', the love of pleasure, ,tho > permeation of schools and colleges, with the so-called' new, theology, and -urges' that the churches have- becomo transformed into I ecclesiastical music halls and organ recitals. \ Solo singing and tricky advertisements Wero the order of the day, while the simple, plain evangelical service,-was put in tlio . background;— Cable .item. ■ • ' The silent pews, the air sedate,'the sermon .' long and dry, ' • . . • The faint-hoard hymns that once subdued the Pagan passer-by,' (Are'-out-of-date'; in nmeteen-sevon Anno , Domini. : ... 1, . '*• , Therei's- no demand for, services old, grave and. .innocent (When, rivals pack the churches to a terrible ' -extent' ' - ' .. . iiWitH the lure of giddy solos and the -slick advertisement. ' The church that clings to ancient modes, devoid of freak *or fad, .-. ,-r . Stands, empty, while the people flock in-mil-I lions gay'and glad' .. ;v/ ■ 'To the vicar who can write a really stimulating ad. The flame of competition is a-rising high:and, . higher, ••, . . V ' -• 'V-'-iAnd, tlic ; olden -rulcs abandoned, every vicar will aspire •- To contribute trombone solos to the music of thfe choir;;; . . . ' i • One jvill charm his faithful : hearors with ,the. latest Londoi. ragoi 1 Butshe'll lose ,; his congregation when ."St; 'William's''; buys a page f !And'advertises services that beat the secular stage. ' -v , ■ ■ "To-morrow ' at ,'Saint. Thomas's 11IV the poster ad. will run— ■ ■"Huge attractions I - Mirth and musio!! !.. There's apprize for everyone. ''William Squires ,will preach tho sermonlU! , Prices," 3 and! 2 and 1." ■ ttr.v ■ ■ - - .. ■ . • 'At last will, como a vicar all his rivals to 'eclipse, ''■[ ! he'll . advertise': C "Eicn-'-' Sunday," : at " eleven,'printed; slips : . With .'the-very -latest divvies and the;, very straightest tips• •. • ' '