THE GIRL’S BROTHER IN COMIC PAPERS.

Cromwell Argus, Volume XXXVII, Issue 1983, 9 April 1906, Page 2

THE GIRL’S BROTHER IN COMIC PAPERS.

Thh girl’s brother is always a great deal vounger than herself. He has only one aim n life—to give his big sister away. He is never engaged in anything else. Sometimes he does it consciously, quite as often unconsciously. He lias an eager thirst for information. This, conjoined with a resolute inability to take a figure of speech in any save its literal sense, often leads to embarrassing results. For example, Tommy comes rushing into the room where Clara is entertaining Mr. Spoon, and cries out: “ Mr. Spoon, can you swum ?” Clara (impatiently) : “ Tommy, leave the room. You are annoying Mr. Spoon.” Mr. Spoon (graciously) : “ Oh, that question does not annoy me, Miss Heartsease. Yes, Tommy, I can swim. Why do you ask ?” Tommy (edging towards the door): “ ’Cause I heard Clara tell sister Kate she was going to throw you overboard !” Or he answers the bell for Mr. Spoon on a rainy evening, and sets up a wild shout of exultation. “ Hi, sister Clara ! You’re wrong and so’s mother.” Mr. S. : “ What do you mean, Tommy?” Sister and mother : “Yes, Tommy, what do you mean ?” Tommy : “ You know you both said that Mr. Spoon didn’t know enough to come in | out of the rain, and it’s raining hard now, and here he is.” On another occasion Mr. Spoon sends him on an errand, and when he returns pats him on the head and gives him a penny. “Oh, ma,” cries Tommy, “Mr. Spoon gave me a copper.” Ma: “ Well, my dear, you should say ” Tommy : “ Yes, I know I should say thank you. but I was so surprised I forgot. You said he hadn’t a copper.” Perhaps Tommy is not quite so dumb as he appears. There may be a spice of malicious fun in his assumption of innocence. Certainly Roger, in the following dialogue, betrays a pretty wit. Sister Gertie : “ Roger, what do you mean by coming in here like that ?” Little Roger (who has appeared all too suddenly): “I heard ma say you’d been fishing for Mr. Waverley a long time, and I just wanted to ask if that was a fishing smack I heard.” And little Jim, too, may have had a full understanding of his own revelations. He was sent into the parlour to entertain his sister’s bast young man. He made quite a success of it. His first question was : “ Can you stand on your head ? ” After the young man admitted that ho couldn’t, Jim proceeded to demonstrate his proficiency in that line. “ That’s good,” said the y. m. “ Who taught you how ?” “ Sister told me never to toll.” Even after the little brother has done his very best, wittingly or unwittingly, to destroy his sister’s chances bo alienate the girl and her beau, he has been known to come in at the end, after everything has been settled, after the girl had landed the beau, and well-nigh precipitate a disruption. Thus the accepted suitor, in the overflowing I glee of his new dignity, is reported to have I addressed the brother in these terms : “ Well, Bobby, you will have a new brother soon. lam your sister’s choice for a husband.” Bobby (surprised): “ Well, that’s strange. I heard her tell mamma only yesterday that you were Hobson’s choice.”