Untitled

Cromwell Argus, Volume XXXVII, Issue 1983, 9 April 1906, Page 2

The Vsnal K-lnd. Householder —Do you pretend to say that this meter measures the amount of gas we burn? Inspector—l will outer into no controversy, sir, but I will say that the motor measures the amount of gas yon have to pay for.

Wkf She CUcNie Him. "How can she marry a man with hardly a thing to commend him but his money?" "I suppose Bhe has made up her mind to take him for what he'i worth. "-

Matrimonial Item. "Maud says she would be willing to marry if the proper man came along." "And I guesa he would not have to be any too proper at that.

A IHsmal Failure. "Little Diak oried when he wore his new shoos." "Don't they fit?" "Yes, but they don't equeak

Applied Proverb. The sultan was perplexed. "Ibn-el-Yusuf," said he to his unofficial and moefc confidential adviser, "the bashaw of Alabazara and the suboaliph of Hnl-a-Baloo are each offering me the other's head aa a gracious gift. What shall I do?"

"There is a proverb among the Christian dogs," said the adviser, "that two honds are better than one.

Too Good « Bargain to Be Missed. "Dear me, George, why don't you smoke?"

"I thought I promised you I never would?"

"You did, but I saw some of the cutest little boxes in a down town window today, and they were marked only 40 cents for 25 real cigars.

Interesting Researches. "I always want introductions to long haired men. " "Why?" "I like to diaoover what subjects the/ axe foolish on.