Reporter’s diary

Press, 28 November 1988, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Long wait ONE rumour to breed this week comes from a devoted cluster of news reporters encamped in Tokyo since Emperor Hirohito fell ill. A “reliable source” has it that while waiting for the fateful bulletin from the Imperial Palace, two have died, still waiting. From such whispers are urban myths made. Oh, sorry THUMBING through 1906 editions of “The Weekly Press” was reassuring. They made mistakes then too. Take this report, in an August edition: “Admirers of the books of Baring-Gould will be delighted to hear that a report of his death, as in the case of a celebrated

American, was greatly exaggerated. It seems that the Baring-Gould who died at Port Elizabeth was Mr Edward Sabine Bar-ing-Gould, a cousin of the reverend gentleman. The latter was alive and well when the first mail left London, but had not, so he said, troubled to read his numerous obituary notices.” Sympathy card THEY’RE cunning in Britain. A sign on the windscreen of a car parked on double yellow lines in Chelsea read: “Back soon. Visiting sick traffic warden.” Punch line A man in an Adelaide bottle-store was asked if he would like his bottle chilled or at room tem-

perature. According to “Autocar” magazine he wasn’t fussy. "Doesn’t matter mate. I only want to hit a bloke with it.” Under protest DUCK, everyone. Equality is stalking the world-fam-ous Oberammergau Passion play. The committee of village elders in charge of the 350-year-old play has been criticised for refusing to audition women who are married or over the age of 35. Oberammergau actors must have lived in the tiny Bavarian village for 20 years, be practising Christians and of German descent. Men can be any age and married or single to take part. Women protesters, who claim that the rules against married women were introduced

only 120 years ago, are taking the committee to court. Computers under... PEOPLE who think that a byte is just another insidious example of American spelling, find it equally hard to understand computer viruses. But not one pensioner, who reasons it like this: “If computers want to take over the world and do everything we do, they can damn well get our bugs as well. AND pay the Doc.” ... diskussion SIGN on an inner city firm’s noticeboard: “Are computer viruses a terminal illness?” —Jenny Setchell